Monthly Archives: June 2014

The Power To Influence Others

The Power To Influence Others

The Power To Influence Others

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.”  Albert Einstein

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.”    Albert Schweitzer

How we wish we had the power to influence  others. We’ve all thought about it. We would fix this and that and restructure things and be considered the greatest man or woman that ever lived. We would be more wonderful than spider man or any sports hero. People would wait on our every word. The issues we would transform and the huge number of people we would change.

The  odd thing is we do inspire others every single day. We just are not aware of who or when or where. Sometimes we talk something over with a friend and  of course we believe we made a difference and we are happy with ourselves but most of the time we would admit that others really don’t listen to us. Again I’d reiterate the fact that every one of us offers a role model for others to follow. Continue reading

Forgiveness Is Bearing Another’s Lack Of Contrition

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.”    Beyondordinary

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ”   Mahatma Gandhi

“It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.”    Tyler Perry

As much as we fear challenging situations, I find the most difficult thing in the world to do is forgive another. We all see ourselves as willing to compromise and set tings right but what that means is for the other party to accept our perceived truth in a given situation.  We do  not want to believe we have been in the wrong. It is amazing to observe the amount of effort we put in to make our point or win our discussion, argument or fight.

Many people have ongoing feuds within families which last a lifetime. The reasons the disagreements continue have more to do with our inability to acknowledge any wrongdoing. In the process we refuse to compromise and give any  ground to the other party involved. When the fight is over we can’t admit any wrongdoing so we need to have the other person admit they were wrong to ease our anger and frustration. Of course the other person believes we were just as wrong in our actions and words and they refuse to budge and offer an apology. Continue reading

Calmness Soothes Anger

“Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all.”    Khalil Gibran

It was a sad day as I watched a mother lose her patience with her tow year old on a bus. She smacked the baby on the bum and he in turn cried until they reached their bus stop. The dad took the child and tried to talk with him but the toddler immediately smacked the dad a few times while crying. I wondered if those smacks registered with either parent. The child was imitating his parents  and doing a very good job.

Another couple I was with mentioned how they had recently observed a mother smacking her older child in front of everyone. As we were discussing these issues a dad was screaming a the top of his lungs in the face of his small child around three and in a carriage. The child was screaming himself but the dad’s face was in the child’s face and although he never hit the child in front of any of us, his intimidating loud voice was more than enough. Continue reading

Tolerance Towards Humanity

“What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature.”    Voltaire

“I learned that very often the most intolerant and narrow-minded people are the ones who congratulate themselves on their tolerance and open-mindedness.”    Christopher Hitchens

I was discussing tolerance with a couple of people the other day, and discovered our views were so varied. I think we were all basically correct, but narrow-minded in our scope. For instance, we had no mercy for those who had  great material wealth. We all felt sympathy for the poor, but would ignore the rich. If we were cut in line by a poorer looking person, we likely would say nothing, because we would feel sorry for them. If a wealthy person stepped in front of us, we would be quicker to defend ourselves. It is as if the wealthy person conjures up in us, feelings of being treated in a less than worthy manner. We almost feel guilty for the person in a lower economic bracket.

Just as we measure babies heights, and weights, among other things, wealth is a measurement of adult worth and accomplishment. The majority of us are not money wealthy, so we are sometimes jealous of those who are wealthier. Nobody ever sees this as intolerant. The wealthy are one group that can be treated poorly, in a variety of ways, yet people don’t recognize this as intolerance. Continue reading

The Opposite Of Love Is Doubt

“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.” Khalil Gibran

“The greatest obstacle to being heroic is the doubt whether one may not be going to prove one’s self a fool; the truest heroism is to resist the doubt; and the profoundest wisdom, to know when it ought to be resisted, and when it be obeyed.”    Nathaniel Hawthorne

I don’t believe the opposite of love is hate. i think the opposite of love is doubt. We love the people who constantly come through for us. How could we not? It is easy to care for these people because they help us and stand by us for the most part. parents love their kids regardless of any love in  return. Many kids love parents regardless of the fact they were abandoned or abused.

When anyone hurts us deliberately or accidentally we swiftly turn on them. It isn’t from a lack of love but a lack of doubt in the relationship. Kids have faith their parents love them even though they are abused. They stand by this belief until they are given an alternative method of  measurement. When the questions arise the love fades. Continue reading

Enjoy The Moment

“The best place in the world is in the arms of someone who will not only hold you at your best, but will pick you up and hug you tight at your weakest moment”  Unknown

“The true worth of a man is not to be found in man himself, but in the colours and textures that come alive in others.”    Albert Schweitzer

“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.”    Confucius

I hate to get so self absorbed that I stop enjoying the moment. I can recall countless times when I worried about what I would wear to any given function or even to work. After spending too many minutes making up my mind I was still unhappy when I got to the place and saw what others were wearing.

It occurred to me that many times I am over or under dressed fo the occasion. I didn’t achieve the look I had wanted and I was disappointed. It was embarrassing when I didn’t have the right look for the right place. Now I have come to realize that it is such nonsense. Even if I’m wearing a dress and others are wearing shorts who really cares. Continue reading

Are There Limits?

“Stop allowing other people  to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions. Stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.”    Dr. Steve Maraboli

How often do we feel pride about something we did that we never thought we could ever do? It inflates our ego and builds our self-esteem. It is a great feeling and stays with us for a long time. If only we could keep that moment alive forever in our lives and hearts. Then a little bit of doubt creeps in that just maybe we have reached our limit and accomplished as much as we could. We tend to sit back and live in the past because we have no faith in our future.

If we did it once or even twice we can keep doing it. It takes some motivation and a belief in ourselves. We must keep doubt away along with the naysayers. Sometimes the doubt and negative people inspire us to give up or face the reality that we are not competent  enough to excel further. The ones who do advance further are the people who have no idea what their limitations are. Blindly they march forward with their plans and never stop to listen to those who would slow them down. Continue reading

Distancing Thoughts

“Endless love is fueled by endless friendship. If you want to have the greatest romance ever, have the greatest friendship ever. Cultivate it; do not let your friendship die. Remember, it’s not a lack of love that destroys relationships; it’s usually a lack of friendship.” – Steve Maraboli

“The aim [of education] must be the training of independently acting and thinking individuals who, however, see in the service to the community their highest life problem.”    —Albert Einstein

I have been thinking a lot about this subject of distancing my thoughts because I believe I do it in many ways. I am not sure about where I am going, or what I am doing, so I sort of get busy doing nothing. I call it nothing when it is basically busy or amusing stuff like TV, social media, text etc. Whatever keeps us distracted and amused, and allows us to escape from dealing with our thoughts about any subject, is a source of distancing ideas. Thinking and reflecting become non-existent for at least a little while.

For the longest time I never realized how I was doing this  or why. Now I feel guilty, because I have concluded that I am guilty of ignoring what I should be doing in place of wasting my time. I am not saying social  media has no merit, but most people overdo it regularly. We can’t seem to stop it or control it. I question why people in general have trouble  with parameters. Continue reading

Life Is About Relationships

“”Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming  gardeners who  make our souls blossom.” Unknown

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”    Albert Camus

Our lives are built around our relationships. We  need each other and we crave friends, family and support. On the other hand, we push family friends and people away. We are so quick to absorb the hurts we receive, from these same individuals. We all desire the best outcomes for ourselves. We yearn to have things  progress well from day to day. We might want a change of pace, but not in those relationship areas, unless they are falling apart.

I remember feeling contented when I lived near my family. I really didn’t make much effort to include those outside of the family. I thought of them as outsiders. They might be wonderful, but my life felt complete at the time. Of course reality entered and with job changes from the start, we moved away quickly from family. Suddenly friends began to take on a whole new meaning. I had to depend on friends for many items, especially as we began a family and it increased a few times. Continue reading

When Guilt Melts, Belief Emerges

“….A single spark of courage can ignite the fires of hope….” Unknown

“Only through letting go are we free to live and love as our authentic self. We stop going through the motions and start living a loving, happy life…..” Unknown

It is time to look at each day as a new beginning to start again and make things right. If we think that all is lost, ended or fruitless it denies us any options to attempt to make anything better. It is easier to give up or give in than it is to steer in a new direction.

If we have a poor attitude then it is a good idea to work on that. Feeling useless and having no faith in our abilities necessitates a reevaluation of our positive qualities. It is strange but as much as others may see us with big egos, we possibly see ourselves as without any talent at all. Continue reading