Monthly Archives: June 2014

Stop Fearing Life

“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” Unknown

“We think when things get sorted out we’ll find peace. But actually, when we find peace things get sorted out….” Pag – Croatia

Most of us would bluntly state that we have few fears. We have the “I don’t care” attitude, and “It doesn’t bother me mentality.” Somehow we believe if we state it out loud, and preferably to someone, we make it the truth. Actually the reality is that we all have so many underlying fears. I would guess it is the reason we have so many prescriptions for worry, anxiety, stress, and pressure. Most likely we bring on, or make our current illnesses worse with stress.

Because we like to believe we have total control of our bodies, and our world, we perhaps would deny all of this. After all we are extremely capable, and we handle a tremendous amount of issues. How could we possibly be out of control? Some of us manage to get “things” done, spend time with family, take care of the house and pay our bills. Deep within our being, we run scared. At times we play the what if game. If something happens to me, will my kids be okay. If my husband dumps me, how will I manage the kids and everything else. If I lose my job, where would I begin looking for another one. Am I saving enough money to send my kids to college. Am I too strict, or are my kids out of control. Continue reading

Intimidation Is Rampant

“…As we release the things that weigh heavy on our hearts, that block our connection to love, we allow ourselves to blossom with the fullness that our Soul always intended”

”When you radiate love, you create a filter allowing love to come and go with ease…Anonymous

“Thoughts are like an open ocean, they can either move you forward within its waves, or sink you under deep into its abyss”    Anonymous

I was quite surprised to hear an admonishing remark from the secretary at the doctors office. I had to schedule an appointment with this new doctor and because I wasn’t quick explaining what I wanted, I was curtly told, “You should have said that in the first place.” I must admit I was a little embarrassed, taken aback, and speechless regarding a response.

I was surprised at the condescending attitude, and wondered how impatient this person was. It wasn’t the first time I had experienced such an admonishment, but I recalled how many people release their frustration on others. Does anyone else believe nasty attitudes have been on the rise? Continue reading

Steer Clear Of Courage Crushers

“One of the most powerful lessons in life is to recognize that no one can give you power, and many people don’t want you to have it. You have to find the courage to seize it, own it and hold on!” ~ Shannon L. Alder

”Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it…” –Lou Holtz

We all know them. Some people who hold us back, in one way or another. They profess to have our best interest at heart, but in reality they dissolve our resolve to accomplish our goals. I don’t know if they actually believe they are serving us, but in reality we need to make our own decisions, and follow our own thoughts and plans. The constant negativity, eventually wears us down, and crushes our dreams. If you are such a person, rethink how you could better serve your friends.

We can only outgrow friendships, when it reaches the point that friends become jealous or feel threatened with our goals and dreams. Many people like to have friends they consider slightly beneath their level, or they choose compatible people. If they believe their friend has more knowledge, a better degree, more happiness, more goals and dreams or money, they may begin to resent us and trouble ensues. Continue reading

Steps That Enlighten The Truth

“We can grow by our questions as well as by our answers.””Our words are seeds planted in other people’s lives.” John Mason

“Nature is based on harmony. So it says if we want to survive and become more like nature, then we actually have to understand that it’s cooperation versus competition.”  Bruce Lipton

Stop to reflect how we, at times, set up our own competition. If we begin boasting about our accomplishments, or those of our children, we set the wheel in motion. It may not be our siblings or mother or mother-in-law that begins the game. Simple factual information is more appreciated and recognized, than an onslaught of false words and bravado.

If you have been refraining from competition, then you may just get a few compliments. If you don’t receive any attention, then I would ponder the sadness of another s life at that moment. If one cannot bring themselves to praise you, due to their position in life at the moment, we might feel some pity. If we have nothing to give, Likely it is time to think about ourselves. Feel pity for those in need, rather than jealousy. If your the one never finding it in your heart to praise another, when it is your turn for honor likely others will not be enthusiastic. Continue reading

Reduce Your Problems

“There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment.”    Robert Brault

 “every sunrise is an invitation for us to rise and brighten someone’s day.  Richelle E. Goodrich

I recently heard from a young friend that her parents were getting a divorce. They had been married over 25 yrs. My friend is married yet so very hurt, and yes traumatized. It might seem crazy but divorce hurts the children, regardless of their age. It brings it back to relationships and understanding.

At times, we just don’t understand others motives, words or actions. Many times we jump to conclusions that are not true. As a daughter-in-law, I remember times when I felt the cold shoulder from my mother-in-law, and I would think hard about what I might have done to cause it. Now that I am a mother-in-law, I wonder why my daughters-in-law at times, are so quiet. I sat down one day and laughed because it occurred to me that maybe they had just had a fight with their husband, or somebody else, and their attitudes had nothing to do with me. Continue reading

The Influence Of Truthfulness

“Flattery makes friends, truth enemies.”    Spanish Proverb”It is better to  be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”    Andre Gide (french author)

“Most of our faults are more pardonable than the means we use to conceal them.”    Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld

“The greatest truths are the simplest and so are the greatest men.”    J.C. Hare

Being trustworthy in all situations may appear to be impossible. Many times we may think we are saving the  feelings of a  spouse, or friend, so we refrain from telling the whole truth. It is possible, we believe that revealing the whole truth, will shower undo suspicion on us. We have faith in the knowledge that we have done nothing wrong. Then we may decide to profess the “white lie”, to maintain the relationship.

What most likely happens is that within a period of time, the  truth is revealed and we will have placed ourselves into a corner of guilt. Our defense will be “I told you a  small untruth so I would save you pain.” How ludicrous this will sound even to us.  All that is recognized is the fact that we lied. Truth is always the best way to go, even if a small dilemma requires an explanation. It is easier to proclaim the messed up simple truth, than to explain why we lied. Continue reading

Friendship Is Ever Evolving

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; My shadow does that much better.”   Plutarch

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another; “What you too? I thought I was the only one.” Anonymous

How frustrating it is to to try to have hold and keep friendships alive and well. It takes so much work a person must wonder every day if it is worth the effort. Friends come in different sizes, shapes and attitudes. They wield a lot of power. They can elevate you or send you crashing to the ground if they want. At times they can surprise you with happiness but then again, there are those times when disappointments are on the agenda.

Some friends love to be around when there are problems. They prefer a crises situation more than a happy celebration. I remember having friends when I was a child, that were jealous of my clothing. We weren’t rich but my mother was the queen of the shoppers and we had pretty outfits. It was embarrassing to me to get a compliment. Although it was positive, it really wasn’t, and my friend and I both knew that. She wanted me to be aware of her hurt feelings, regarding my latest outfit. Continue reading

Destroy Your Inferiority Complex

“When an individual is kept in a situation of inferiority, the fact is that he does become inferior.”    Simone de Beauvoir

“One of the processes of your life is to constantly break down that inferiority, to constantly reaffirm that I Am Somebody.” Alvin Ailey

“Confidence is a plant of slow growth.”    Herbert V. Prochnow

There are times when we all lose our confidence. Some of us have no faith in ourselves, while others sway back and forth on any given day or time. We wonder why some people manage to uphold their esteem, while others hang on to the little assurance they have. I believe we lose faith when our lives are disrupted in any way, or if our ego is tested even slightly. We may dress fashionably, fix our hair and enjoy a secure feeling. Our walk is swift, our hair blows  gently in the soft breeze, and we relish our feelings of power.

Suddenly a controversy at work, demolishes our security, and our confidence slowly slips away. I question why the slightest flaw sends us hiding. I do it myself and reproach myself later for my cowardly desertion of my confidence. It might happen when another enters our space, and dominates the atmosphere. At that point our new look loses points on our scale, and our day turns sour. We may  be filled with desires, ideas and strong work ethics, but when we are challenged our courage deserts us. Some are better at swaying people their way whether they are right or wrong. They demand respect and others have faith in them. Continue reading

Compliments Without Comparisons

“Compliment people. Magnify their strengths not their weaknesses.”

“Anonymous compliments are the best because you don’t feel they are trying to gain anything by it.”

I don’t know about other people but I am fed up with the way some people offer a compliment. At first it is honest and legitimate. It makes a person feel good. They don’t stop, but instead insult another through their comparisons. “Sofie helped Rachel paint the other day. Sophie is so kind to others and definitely not like her sister Sara.” Or you might hear, “You’d never catch Sara doing that.” I find it frustrating, and more negative than positive. I recall someone displaying a chart on their refrigerator, which indicated who was top dog, and who was displayed in the dog house. How pathetic it was. It required constant assessment of a person, without their consent. This was a family, but our comparisons are never considered unethical. One should not wonder why this family became ostracized when thy were grown.

What begins as a nice gesture, develops into a hurtful unnecessary situation. Nobody wanted to hear disparaging comments about Sara. It really is rude and forces the audience to be the recipient of rudeness. Maybe Sara doesn’t exhibit empathy. Perhaps  she is burdened at the moment, and dealing with her own issues. It isn’t for us to judge.  The atmosphere is tainted with a foul smell. The kind praise of one girl, is overshadowed by the insulting additional and negative remarks towards the sister. Continue reading

End Envy; See Beyond The Appearance

“Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.” Albert Einstein

“Sometimes I think we torture ourselves by desiring what others have. This includes money jobs fame fortune power prestige personality etc. It is difficult to refrain from getting caught up in the mirage. Once our mind is traveling along the jealousy path, it is almost impossible to stop. We all do it at different times. I think that is why we feel those twinges of jealousy that we hate to bear.” Albert Einstein

Most of us admit we would  not want to change places with others. Yet we continue to desire what others have, and sometimes believe that what we have is far less. It can give us an empty sensation, or a fearful moment. We believe we will never get to the point in our lives, that we assume another has already reached. Maybe we won’t reach that pinnacle, and perhaps we were never meant to reach it. Attaining that achievement may have done us more harm than good, but we don’t accept that understanding. We need to believe we have our own mountains to climb.

To me, jealousy is not always the way it appears. Envy surfaces when we are disappointed in ourselves. We choose to believe we have not measured up to our potential. Upon observing others, who emerge with  quite a few accomplishments, our own fall short. Our envy is then based on anger and disgust at ourselves, more than our desire to knock another down. Understanding the root cause of jealousy helps us to applaud our own goodness and capability. Continue reading