Category Archives: baggage

BEST BIRTH ORDER

“At some point we all look up and realize we are lost in a maze.”

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” John Keats

“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”     Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I was talking with a few friends the other day and the discussion got heated when no one could agree on who had the worst birth order placement. It seems like a silly thing to argue about but try saying it to a group of friends and watch he discussion fly. I have thought about it quite a bit and I don’t like any of the negatives that go along  with any of the positions. When I was done recalling everyone’s complaints I realized we were just talking about life. Continue reading

Trapped In A Half Empty Glass

“In the end it is not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others?” Martin Luther King Jr.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say I used everything you gave me.” Erma Bombeck

I find it so easy being trapped in my own thoughts and seeing life as half empty. I admit that  happy days make it unnecessary to  think so hard about life in general. Difficult days make me review every single word spoken to me. Everything people say and do is a competition. Most of us would definitely say they are not  competing with anyone but the opposite is true. Every second  every day it happens unless we consciously stop the runaway thoughts. Continue reading

Worries and Competition

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”
– Lao Tzu

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life”    Socrates

“The key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.”     Dalai Lama

“All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail.”    Dorthea Brande

Comparisons of all kinds send us into arguments and sometimes battles. We find it so difficult to compromise and find a happy medium. Has anyone thought how easily it happens? A very simple ordinary conversation can suddenly turn into a confrontation because someone gets  irritated. Perhaps one of the parties didn’t get to speak as much as the other. One party may have made more points with their discussion than the other. Someone might have gotten bored with the conversation and attempts to walk away while the other person expects them to stay and listen to their rhetoric. Continue reading

When It Isn’t Enough

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” Haruki Murakami

“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” Steve Maraboli

“In everybody’s life there’s a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can’t go forward anymore. And when we reach that point, all we can do is quietly accept the fact. That’s how we survive.” Haruki Murakami

So we are feeling really low and our spouse or close companion doesn’t appear to understand the depth of our sadness. There is no place to begin to explain how awful we feel. With every attempt we become mixed up in our thoughts and the words tumble out in a confusing fashion. The spouse gets annoyed with our attempts and we get off course in relation to what we are trying to explain. In the end we attribute it to their inability to understand how deeply we are hurting inside. As a matter of  fact, nobody quite gets the angry depth of our despair.

This perhaps resonates with many or most of us at any given time in our lives.  Sadly, we may give up trying and hide ourselves  away into the gravity of our sorrow. It is as if the world is against us and has never before seen the horrendous situation we find ourselves immersed within. Perhaps we haven’t noticed that those we love are functioning  in their own spheres at the moment and unless we relinquish more of our sentiments they will continue to remain on the outskirts of our pain. As much as we desire to have our loved one involved with our dilemma, we tend to push all people away. Likely it has more to do with trying to outrun our problems. If we venture down another path, try a new activity, go out with friends our issue might disappear. Of course that never happens  but we had to try.

Observing it from the other spouses’ view we see confusion about why their special someone can’t shake what is bothering them. Even when we have all of the facts we assume they can overcome the obstacles in time and we sit back and wait. When the waiting produces no results we attempt the discussion which leaves us with more items to think about and a lecture on our insensitivity. Even if we believe this is far from the truth, our ability to  change the way things are unfolding is fading.

Continue reading

Accepting Others

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”    Deborah Reber

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”     Ann Landers

Don’t you just hate the game playing we go through at any gathering of friends or relatives? I know I do. No matter how many times  I try to keep it at bay, it appears again in my life. I am resolved to acknowledge, there is no end to it until we all stop. I call the petty irritating things we do to each other, the game points. Some of us perhaps plan for the tournament, and enter the environment or arena, ready to do battle. There are those days when we are not ready, willing or able to do any engaging at all. Continue reading

Fragmented

 

“Divorced from the cosmos, from nature, from society and from each other, we have become fractured and fragmented.”    Daisaku Ikeda

“If I don’t understand you, I may be angry at you, all the time. We are not capable of understanding each other, and that is the main source of human suffering.” ― Thích Nhất Hạnh

“In modern society most of us don’t want to be in touch with ourselves; we want to be in touch with other things like religion, sports, politics, a book – we want to forget ourselves. Anytime we have leisure, we want to invite something else to enter us, opening ourselves to the television and telling the television to come and colonize us.”   ― Thích Nhất Hạnh

I am so aware of how confusing life is. I observe that all of our lives are replicas of a disorganized family, society and world. If one looks up the word fragmented, we are given such meanings as existing or functioning as though broken into separate parts. We are also told it is living in a state of disorganization or being dis-unified. If we are a fragmented personality then we create a fragmented family and the result is a fragmented society and world. Continue reading

Baggage

“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.”    Kahlil Gibran

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”    Kahlil Gibran

“We are all like the bright moon, we still have our darker side.”    Kahlil Gibran

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”  Cherokee Indian Proverb

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”  Buddha

I not only need  to stop packing so many items when I go on vacation but I also must release so much of the mental baggage I carry with me from year to year. Whenever I am feeling defeated, I hopelessly recall the numerous hurts of the past. That would be fine, if I could eventually lay them to rest, but that isn’t how it works. I just feel more saddened, and I review these same issues, again and again. Now it appears to be time to learn, how to let them go forever, and not just until my next depressing day. Continue reading