We all find it so easy to blame others when a relationship fails. If we could read our daughter-in-law’s mind, we would likely find she is blaming us for the uneasy atmosphere.
The truth is, both parties sabotage the relationship when they assume, judge and expect certain things to happen. Getting off to a bad start makes everyone uneasy.
Both women discover their confidence wanes, and the relationship situation is eroding, but no one tries to fix it. The tension is strong, and both women are lost in their own thoughts. Before the night is over, they speak cordially but make brief contact with each other.
It is easy to get caught up in the drama which serves nobody and adds to the confusion. Here are 5 ways to deal with the mother- and daughter-in-law “elephant in the room.”
Transform Emotional Distance into Positive Interactions
At times, both women can simply be misguided in their thoughts and judgements of a situation. That is the best kept secret. Neither woman wants to upset the elephant in the room, so neither discusses any real issues or problems they have. Mothers- and daughters-in-law have individual fears, as well as desires. Continue reading →
“As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself. The other for helping others.” Audrey Hepburn
“Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow-man. For remember, you don’t live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.” Albert Schweitzer
Teenage boys endure their own problems and fears. They also choose friends that are in high regard. Girls are judging them by who they are with. The stronger and louder the friends, the more status they gain. Boys watch television and sports, and read books and magazines. All of the media and their own families and peers, emphasize the image of a male as tough, feisty, strong, mean, courageous, powerful, and controlling as a leader. The kind thinking male is very low on the scale. Can anyone else see a problem?
Boys and girls may believe they are not ready to drive, but they will get behind a wheel anyways because they fear being called a chicken or baby. Boys fight over girls, because that is what is expected. Girls believe they are more loved, if the young man fights for them. The young man has no choice when challenged, if he wants to keep his girlfriend as well as his pride. To lose her, is to lose standing in the group. Girls may not like the way a boy treats them, but they put up with it because they don’t want to lose their status in the group. We are learning group mentality where we don’t think anymore, but allow our group to decide our issues and choices. Continue reading →