Category Archives: parenting

My Issue With Breast Is Best

This is an article my daughter wrote about breast cancer which touched my heart. It is worth reading and better than anything I could ever write. It was written from the heart. It is important to remember that the hurts we bear and suffer are not always obvious. We will perhaps never know or understand fully what another person endures because we don’t walk in their shoes and never will.

“”Dignity is The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad Pinterest quotes. It is the moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent’s wisdom. Dignity is the moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter.”  Shannon L. Alder

I read another post about the poison of GMO, corn syrup, baby formula.  One more post in an extensive news-feed.  It is opinion, and I can scroll past, but it feels like another not so subtle reminder of the “breast is best” undercurrent that permeates everything baby related.   As a physician I feel that breast feeding is ideal.  When I was a third year resident and I had my first baby I was adamant about exclusively breast feeding.  I cried when my milk didn’t come in right away after a long induction.   I also relished the fact that my newborn grew into a chubby, giggly infant and it was due to my own body.  I pumped and breastfed, it was a blur of insomnia knowing that I would have to go back to work.  I took time off and managed to keep a freezer full of breast milk in case my supply dropped off when I did go back.  As a resident with overnight calls I knew I couldn’t be sure how often I could pump, pagers go off, codes happen, patients, admissions, rapid responses, they don’t wait for pumping.  I was determined, I continued to pump, overnight, sometimes in bathrooms, call rooms, it depended on how far of a walk, and which were occupied.   I was determined to make the one year mark. Continue reading

THINKING AND LOVING ?

Loving And Forgiving“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”     Martin Luther King, Jr.

“And you know, when you’ve experienced grace and you feel like you’ve been forgiven, you’re a lot more forgiving of other people. You’re a lot more gracious to others.”     Rick Warren

“It’s toughest to forgive ourselves. So it’s probably best to start with other people. It’s almost like peeling an onion. Layer by layer, forgiving others, you really do get to the point where you can forgive yourself.”     Patty Duke

I believe I am thinking a bit negative today because I keep believing nobody is capable of loving anyone especially unconditionally. I spend many hours attempting to figure it out but it leaves me questioning our human population. Parents love their babies until those babies begin to offer challenges and then the spankings and screaming begins. We all remember having disruptive days but usually we get over it and find peace again. Kids are wonderful until they speak their own mind and want to do their own thing as well as lead their own lives. That is hard on parents who want to continue to control their kids indefinitely. This can carry over into their child’s relationships of all kinds. Nobody is left out and everyone is at risk. Continue reading

Children Add The Touch Of Love

“It is not until much later, that children understand; their stories and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the water of their lives.”  “The miracle of children is that we just don’t know how they will change or who they will become.” Eileen Kennedy-Moore Paulo Coelho

“Lots Of Valuable Effort is the true full form of LOVE.” Aishwarya Shiva Pareek

“To reform the world – means to reform upbringing…” Janusz Korczak

I and everybody else is aware of checking the labels for any pills we are taking so we can check out the hazards. Many of us try to decide if  the hazards are worth the risk of taking the pills. As I watch the news daily and witness another assault on a child I wonder if kids should also come with all kinds of cautions and beware symbols. Seriously thou there is so much left out of the venture of raising children. Perhaps there ought to be warning signs or at least a book of instructions. Most of us jump in without a lot of hesitation. Continue reading

Learn From The Kids

“How terribly sad it was that people are made in such a way that they get used to something as extraordinary as living.” Jostein Gaarder

“There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don’t fit into their box are weird. But I’ll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance.” C. JoyBell C.

“I think that we are like stars. Something happens to burst us open; but when we burst open and think we are dying; we’re actually turning into a supernova. And then when we look at ourselves again, we see that we’re suddenly more beautiful than we ever were before!” C. JoyBell C.

I had to take a break from my writing due to family issues that needed my attention. Of course I never stopped observing and learning, even if I stopped writing. I noticed how tense it felt to let go of so many tasks I would normally accomplish when I have total concentration. Instead I sat back, worried and reviewed how far behind I assessed I must be. In reality I was only behind because I saw it that way. In actuality I might be and probably am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point in time.

How many of us believe or even think about why we find ourselves treading water at times or even going backwards at other times? Perhaps we view this as big problems  and ask ourselves why it happened to us. None of us would say “Well I am glad for that set back  because now I have time to review what it is I am doing.” Continue reading

Discipline Is Love In Action

“A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to.”  Robert Brault

“Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to  watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It’s about
hanging on during a very bumpy ride.”   Ron Taffel

“Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie – not perfect but who’s complaining?”  Robert Brault 

“Good discipline requires time. When we have no time to give our  children, or no time we are willing to give, we don’t even observe  them closely enough to become aware of when their need for our  disciplinary assistance is expressed subtly.”     M. Scott Peck

I am a believer of disciplining with love. All of the smacking, hitting, dragging and pushing of kids, is brute force that says “I am in charge because I have more muscle and I dictate the rules.” How  many people are from homes such as these and grew up in fear. I am sure more people suffered at the hands of forceful parents, who believed they knew the truth and it was going to be followed.

It was almost as if you had to respect your parents or you weren’t showing love. Hitting tells them they can hit when they are older just not when they are little. yelling tells them might makes you right. The quick fix for disciplining is hitting yelling and screaming so it will result in pain, that the child will remember. Parents don’t have to respect their children and that is where the problem lies. Continue reading

Discipline Only Requires Love And Time

“Don’t demand respect as a parent. Demand civility, and insist on honesty. But respect is something you must earn with kids as well aswith adults.” William Attwood

“Good discipline requires time. When we have no time to give our children, or no time we are willing to give, we don’t even observe them closely enough to become aware of their need for our disciplinary assistance, is expressed subtly.” M. Scott Peck

Discipline is not what anybody enjoys doing. A boss would rather compliment a worker than have to explain the things that are wrong with the work. When it comes to raising a family, it is key to positive growth and maturity. There is so much talk and most tactics can appear to be either overwhelming or so intricate that one must consult a rule book.

All kids mess up. As a parent it is hard to set the guidelines for children. Not all children are of the same manner and not all the same ploys work for the individual child. The only method I found that works for all of the kids is love. It probably sounds silly but after explaining my thoughts, and attempting it, you might find  the benefits of it. Sometimes our hard work is only seen in the finished product, which takes years to accomplish, when we are talking about raising children. Continue reading