Family Dynamics

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” –Buddha

“I choose to live by choice not by chance, to be useful not used, to make changes not excuses, to excel not compete, to be motivated not manipulated, I choose self-esteem not self pity, I choose to listen to my inner voice, not to the random opinion of others.” Unknown

Common Sense is that which judges the things given to it by other senses. Leonardo da Vinci

From what I can tell many people don’t use their common sense. I believe we all have it but because we don’t trust our inner senses it drops deeper and deeper into the recesses of our brains. Instead of just reacting we need to reason and include our hearts in all of the deductions. There is so much sentiment involved in any decision and we may brush it aside due to our fear.

Maybe we are nervous about trusting instincts because they are not cut and dried and others won’t place a lot of stock in us when we say, “I had this feeling about saying and doing something.” I don’t know of many who would accept that answer yet emotions and intuitions are for real. They actually tell us more about ourselves and each other. Instincts are what keeps many animals alive and humans are animals.

Of course we believe we are too advanced to be considered animals but we still kill each other relentlessly. I am just not sure how far we really have advanced. Maybe it isn’t much after all. Has anyone else noticed that we appear to require “Professionals” to help us with everything in our lives? We search for answers about why our baby cries a lot among other issues. I’m not saying don’t go for help if you need it but I am saying has anyone stopped to reflect on what their minds and hearts in combination, are trying to suggest? We pass off our most valuable impulses and impressions as silly daydreams that must be squelched. Listening to our inner intuitive wisdom is vital.

Babies cry because they need a warm body. That is a smart baby because it knows its survival depends on mom and dad. We may not want to hold the baby every second but that is what the baby prefers so if we place the child in a carriage or swing to feign closeness, the baby many times relaxes and goes to sleep. My point is we all tend to reach for the child who is crying because we instinctively know they need us. We are correct in our assumptions. Our inner knowledge and senses will guide us. It is perhaps still a question regarding their need to be changed, fed held comforted or rocked to sleep.

There is no magic. We can all sense our kids needs if we listen with our hearts. I think most babies find it difficult to digest milk and food until they mature. They have various episodes of fussing crying and not sleeping. This is actually very typical. Of course we think our child is the exception and without a doubt the worst case. Again most if not all parents experience many of the same issues. The hardest thing to do is give of ourselves with time and patience. Instead we like to hope a medicine or certain food or way of doing something will make it all better. Time makes things better and patience helps us get through the rough times. Consulting a professional is obviously needed at times but trust yourself once in a while because you know and understand more than you think.

There are some unusual cases but most babies cry without reason so it appears. Dealing with it is our job. Sometimes there are no shortcuts. When instincts are not consulted, there is the likelihood of confusion. As advanced as we are academically, we have fallen backwards in truly connecting to our natural sixth sense aptitudes. I think it isn’t in style and appears stupid to use them instead of our hard learned advancements in science. We do have the ability to solve many of our own problems. Combing science with intuitive thought processes allows us the benefit of input from both worlds.

We don’t have to worry that our schedule is not as perfect as another. It is okay to divert from the norm. None of us are robots including the kids. Just because someone tells you it is okay for a 4 or 5-year-old to play on the street, if they have been taught how to safely cross, it still doesn’t make it true. What we need to get back to is our inner wisdom. If we don’t perceive something as correct, then we don’t have to follow the crowd. Until we are confident with certain decisions, refuse to be bullied into compliance. Kids train, eat regular foods, exhibit athletic ability, walk and talk at various points in their lives. The time frame is unimportant. Their comfort as well as our own contentment is very crucial to being successful.

Guidelines are helpful but too many parameters make rules prod us into failure to think for ourselves. We can’t push kids into square places when their shapes are square. I find it sad to watch moms or dads fighting with their daughters or sons. They all love each other and none of us would disagree, yet this scenario happens endlessly with serious consequences to the family. Maybe trusting our common sense and expressing love is vital in raising our children.

Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes. Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails admit it frankly and try another. But above all try something.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” Gertrude Stein

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