Tag Archives: duty

Rippling Effect Of Stress

Rippling Affect Of Stress 3“It is another’s fault if he be ungrateful, but it is mine if I do not give. To find one thankful man, I will oblige a great many that are not so.”

“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.” Khalil Gibran

How underrated kindness is. It feels like we expect others to place us first on their agendas but we never reciprocate. Yes we are thinking, I am good to others all the time but truthfully, how quickly we forget about what others do for us. We do recall when someone lets us down. The pain hurts and the emotional scars we endure are sometimes of our own making.

 Like many others, I expect my family and friends to recognize and know when I  am over my head and require their help. I don’t of course, mention my needs. I assume they should be aware of my desires. This rarely happens. I am let down and quite annoyed with them. After all, I believe, I am thoughtful regarding their plights, and I pay attention to what they want and crave. How come they can’t do the same for me? Continue reading

Finding Faith Within

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
“Your vision will only become clear when you look inside your heart…Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside awakens.”    Carl Jung

I have been doing my own soul searching and discovered so much of life is filled with not only inconsequential things, but also trivial talk. I attempt to meditate, or my version of it, and frequently attend church services for the benefit of the sermons. Of course they are not always enlightening, but often offer wisdom to carry me through the week. It is most often a message worth hearing, and carrying it with you. Continue reading

Choosing Truth Over Group Mentality

“The human race is a herd. Here we are, unique, eternal aspects of consciousness with an infinity of potential, and we have allowed ourselves to become an unthinking, unquestioning blob of conformity and uniformity. A herd. Once we concede to the herd mentality, we can be controlled and directed by a tiny few. And we are.” Unknown

“What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.”    Sigmund Freud

“Happy will the house be in which the relationships are formed from character.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

To lead an honest and powerful life, one really must do more decision making, and collaboration with others. That means at times, we will find ourselves in smaller groups, or maybe even in a group of one. How much easier it is to be  part of a whole. It relinquishes the necessity of decision making. If we go along with the crowd, we are accepted, feel safe, and have time to do whatever we want. We are also exempt from thinking. How is it so many of us  choose this state of affairs.

Maybe it is by accident that we get into ruts, and want to give up the burdens, and work that needs attention. It takes time to review both sides of issues. It demands courage, to have the strength to overcome pressure, to swing the way others want us to. Perhaps that is why we end up getting lost, within the grid of twists and turns. It is too difficult to figure, so we stand by others we have an admiration for. Continue reading

Mothers And Daughters

The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests.” ~Author Unknon

Mothers and daughters begin with the closest friendship.  There are many times the dad might feel pushed aside. Within a few years, as the girls approach their teen years the trouble begins. I think at first moms attempt to deal with it as they encounter the hurts from their daughters. If or when it continues for a longer time the father usually steps in and the problems expand. All of this takes a toll on the mother especially. Solving the dilemma will take patience, love, a listening ear, open mind and loving heart along with a firm attitude.

Moms should try not to get involved totally in the drama to the point of screaming or yelling. Parents are always the directors not the actors. Even when hurtful things are said or done by their daughter, it still necessitates that mom hang in there and continue with her guidance understanding and love. Never resort to shame or insults. Teens require more love at this point in their lives, perhaps than they ever needed before. They are being judged constantly by others so they don’t enjoy more assessments from the home. Life is full of alterations. This is one of the great transformations and requires lots of attention and discussion. Continue reading

Family Rifts

“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”  Khali lGibran

“The tragedy of life is in what dies inside a man while he lives – the death of genuine feeling, the death of inspired response, the awareness that makes it possible to feel the pain or the glory of other men in yourself.”    Norman Cousins

Everyone has some issues within their families. Many parents are separated, which causes its’ own set of problems even for the married children. Some siblings are not speaking to certain other siblings. Some siblings dislike the new sister-in-law or brother-in-law. Cousins get angry with cousins. Fathers and sons clash on a regular basis, while mothers and sons or daughters  find themselves in ongoing arguments. Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law disputes are almost glorified. It leads one to wonder why the rifts  and battles continue, and to question why nothing usually changes even with time.

I thought about some personal experiences and concluded, we are simply seeking love, admiration and acceptance. Many believe an answer is not that easy, but actually fact is obvious to find. As a matter of fact, I have found that many problems are easier to solve than they appear. For instance, if we want to make amends with anyone, the simple reply of I’m sorry let’s be friends, would likely turn some things around for people. Continue reading

The Power To Influence Others

The Power To Influence Others

The Power To Influence Others

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.”  Albert Einstein

“Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.”    Albert Schweitzer

How we wish we had the power to influence  others. We’ve all thought about it. We would fix this and that and restructure things and be considered the greatest man or woman that ever lived. We would be more wonderful than spider man or any sports hero. People would wait on our every word. The issues we would transform and the huge number of people we would change.

The  odd thing is we do inspire others every single day. We just are not aware of who or when or where. Sometimes we talk something over with a friend and  of course we believe we made a difference and we are happy with ourselves but most of the time we would admit that others really don’t listen to us. Again I’d reiterate the fact that every one of us offers a role model for others to follow. Continue reading

Distancing Thoughts

“Endless love is fueled by endless friendship. If you want to have the greatest romance ever, have the greatest friendship ever. Cultivate it; do not let your friendship die. Remember, it’s not a lack of love that destroys relationships; it’s usually a lack of friendship.” – Steve Maraboli

“The aim [of education] must be the training of independently acting and thinking individuals who, however, see in the service to the community their highest life problem.”    —Albert Einstein

I have been thinking a lot about this subject of distancing my thoughts because I believe I do it in many ways. I am not sure about where I am going, or what I am doing, so I sort of get busy doing nothing. I call it nothing when it is basically busy or amusing stuff like TV, social media, text etc. Whatever keeps us distracted and amused, and allows us to escape from dealing with our thoughts about any subject, is a source of distancing ideas. Thinking and reflecting become non-existent for at least a little while.

For the longest time I never realized how I was doing this  or why. Now I feel guilty, because I have concluded that I am guilty of ignoring what I should be doing in place of wasting my time. I am not saying social  media has no merit, but most people overdo it regularly. We can’t seem to stop it or control it. I question why people in general have trouble  with parameters. Continue reading

When Guilt Melts, Belief Emerges

“….A single spark of courage can ignite the fires of hope….” Unknown

“Only through letting go are we free to live and love as our authentic self. We stop going through the motions and start living a loving, happy life…..” Unknown

It is time to look at each day as a new beginning to start again and make things right. If we think that all is lost, ended or fruitless it denies us any options to attempt to make anything better. It is easier to give up or give in than it is to steer in a new direction.

If we have a poor attitude then it is a good idea to work on that. Feeling useless and having no faith in our abilities necessitates a reevaluation of our positive qualities. It is strange but as much as others may see us with big egos, we possibly see ourselves as without any talent at all. Continue reading

Reduce Your Problems

“There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment.”    Robert Brault

 “every sunrise is an invitation for us to rise and brighten someone’s day.  Richelle E. Goodrich

I recently heard from a young friend that her parents were getting a divorce. They had been married over 25 yrs. My friend is married yet so very hurt, and yes traumatized. It might seem crazy but divorce hurts the children, regardless of their age. It brings it back to relationships and understanding.

At times, we just don’t understand others motives, words or actions. Many times we jump to conclusions that are not true. As a daughter-in-law, I remember times when I felt the cold shoulder from my mother-in-law, and I would think hard about what I might have done to cause it. Now that I am a mother-in-law, I wonder why my daughters-in-law at times, are so quiet. I sat down one day and laughed because it occurred to me that maybe they had just had a fight with their husband, or somebody else, and their attitudes had nothing to do with me. Continue reading

The Influence Of Truthfulness

“Flattery makes friends, truth enemies.”    Spanish Proverb”It is better to  be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”    Andre Gide (french author)

“Most of our faults are more pardonable than the means we use to conceal them.”    Francois duc de la Rochefoucauld

“The greatest truths are the simplest and so are the greatest men.”    J.C. Hare

Being trustworthy in all situations may appear to be impossible. Many times we may think we are saving the  feelings of a  spouse, or friend, so we refrain from telling the whole truth. It is possible, we believe that revealing the whole truth, will shower undo suspicion on us. We have faith in the knowledge that we have done nothing wrong. Then we may decide to profess the “white lie”, to maintain the relationship.

What most likely happens is that within a period of time, the  truth is revealed and we will have placed ourselves into a corner of guilt. Our defense will be “I told you a  small untruth so I would save you pain.” How ludicrous this will sound even to us.  All that is recognized is the fact that we lied. Truth is always the best way to go, even if a small dilemma requires an explanation. It is easier to proclaim the messed up simple truth, than to explain why we lied. Continue reading