Tag Archives: failure

The Fear Of Failure

“All the elements for your happiness are already here. There’s no need to run, strive. At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it.”    Thich Nhat Hahn

“By listening with calm and understanding, we can ease the suffering of another person. Obstacles can be a form of liberation. Difficulties are required for success.” Thich Nhat Hahn

All of us have so many fears but perhaps the biggest one is the fear of failure. It kind of groups all the other fears together. Whether it is our spouse, parent, child boss friend or enemy we hate to drop the ball and be considered a loser. The trouble is we can’t really define just what a loser is or what it means. We have bad vibes about failing and never consider that there might be a bright side to failing. Continue reading

Why Worry About Failing!

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage.”    Maya Angelou

“Don’t let the incidents which take place in life bring you low. And certainly don’t whine. You can be brought low, that’s OK, but don’t be reduced by them. Just say, ‘That’s life.”    Maya Angelou

I would question why so many people worry so much about failing except I do it myself. One never plans on fretting but somehow it filters in. As children we attempt to do the somersault everyone has already mastered. We practice because it isn’t cool to be the only one who hasn’t done it. As children, we hide our grade if it is lower than a B or 80, in case everyone else did better. If we come in last while running a race, we blame it on a late bedtime or too much for breakfast. It can never be something intrinsic.

As we mature our attitude towards failing only gets worse. We begin comparing ourselves to everyone. Girls usually need to dress in a similar fashion to make the correct statement. Boys must pass the I am tough test to be included in the group. It could be the athletic group or the math group but having similar qualifications is important in order to be accepted. Continue reading

Actions That Avoid Conflict

“What you dislike in another take care to correct in yourself.” Thomas Spratt

 “Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Oliver Goldsmith

Insecurity breeds contempt for any kind of boastful comment. Every time a person shares the most recent event in her young or older child’s life, does not mean he or she is boastful. Size is not better. Learning is not intelligence. Athletic ability is not valor or prowess. Beauty never denotes inner quality. Why then do we fret? We cannot be insecure in our own hearts.

Pitting siblings or grandchildren against each other creates animosity and tension. Stop self-doubt. Each of us holds the potential for greatness. Maybe if we respond with a simple reply of acknowledgement to the parent, we will avoid confrontation regarding who is the superior person. We avoid making a memory we’d rather forget. Continue reading

When Envy Activates Suspicion

“Sometimes our candle goes out,but is blown into flame by an encounter with another human being.” Albert Schweitzer

How are your days progressing? As one gets older the times seem to manifest bittersweet memories. We all remember people who were with us at past holidays. We remember a favorite dessert a certain someone loved to eat. We recall one’s habits and rituals which bring tears to our eyes.

It tortures us to live in the past and it actually deprives us of creating special moments with those we are with at the present point in time. Even though it is difficult, we need to look beyond our hurts and even our desires and gain an inner contentment reflecting on the good things we have and the loving people that are currently in our lives. We really do have that choice. Continue reading

Consider What Counts

“You give but little when you give of your own possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” Kahil Gibran

We search for things all the time. We can never seem to get everything done by the end of the day. We think, maybe if I try harder tomorrow or give up some lunch time or get out earlier from work or get up earlier etc. We’re all lacking time yet we are not so worried about time. It’s as if we want all their is in the amount of time we get in a day. Continue reading

Roads That Lead Nowhere

“Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us.” A. J. Cronin

“You may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated. In fact it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are , what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”    Maya Angelou

I have recently been the recipient of 3 young peoples’ cries for help. It seems to be an epidemic. Young people get so lost in their unhappiness and powerlessness that they spiral downward quickly. Maybe it is time for all of us to recognize the needs and implores of others. Sometimes through helping another, we can also help ourselves. So many feel trapped in an existence that they cannot control or change. Of course this isn’t always the case but if one believes it to be true then for all intensive purposes it is. We need to break the spiral by recognizing the triggers sooner and intervening. Continue reading

Extinguish The Rage

“Speak when you’re angry, and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” Lawrence J. Peter

“Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” William James

 When one feels the smoldering inside of them because another person has ignited some kind of fear, the first thing we might do is question ourselves. That may sound ludicrous but an immediate question may find the reasons why we begin to flare up in anger. I am by no means saying our annoyance is due to another person’s agitation. Just because another person infuriates us does not give us the right to speed our temper. Controlling our anger is our problem. Continue reading

Are You Acquainted With The Hazards Of Guilt?

 “Why should we think upon things that are lovely? Because thinking determines life. It is a common habit to blame life upon the environment. Environment modifies life but does not govern life. The soul is stronger than its’ surroundings.” William Jam

I have decided to remove the guilt trapped in my mind. I am not sure how I will do it but after it is removed I will attempt to keep it at bay. I hope I don’t feel guilty if I fail. It appears that most of us on any given day can find numerous things to feel guilty about. Some of us even let others pile on the guilt as if we didn’t give ourselves enough to feel guilty about.

Stop allowing your mind to replay situations that transpired. Once you’re caught in such a situation you begin to admonish yourself about what you should have said or done. I do this all the time. Then one is left open for the onslaught of ideas creeping into your mind regarding better actions or words one could have done or said. I begin to believe that I was totally wrong because I didn’t cover all of my bases or didn’t have more thought for the other person. I immediately buy into the notion that others are correct in their horrible assessment of me. Continue reading