There are many reasons why a mother- and a daughter-in-law are quiet or reserved around each other. At times, people overstep the boundaries others have set up for them. That causes one party to be angry with the other.
The resentment occurs when we believe someone has unrightfully entered our space and we want justice. Sometimes that can mean atonement.
None of us think about the times when we tread on others, but if it happens to us it becomes a different and powerful story. It can lead one down the path of unreasonable behavior and sometimes revenge.
When Mothers-In-Law Say Too Much
Have you ever gone to a party and spoken your mind? Did you later regret some of what you said? The words that mothers-in-law use are sometimes loaded with an instructive, controlling tone.
They don’t mean to sound this way, but mothers have been teaching their offspring for so many years that it is difficult to stop all the advice at once. Yet, stopping is what must be done if one is to keep peace and allow their son to be liberated.
Daughters-in-law resent most – or all – unwanted advice and don’t want to be told they are wrong. In all actuality, nobody likes to be told they are wrong.
As hard as it is, the mother-in-law must learn to let her adult children make their own way, even if to her it is plain clear that they are making mistakes.We can’t keep our adult children from each and every mistake no matter how hard we try. It is important, therefore, to let go and allow them to live their life the way they choose. Nothing will irritate a daughter-in-law more than interfering with her and her husband’s business.
If a mother-in-law has trust and faith in her son, it should give her the confidence to let go and let her son live his own life. She can learn to play a different role and find new interests to occupy her new-found time.
Life changes force us to play a different game with different rules. It can be fun if we are willing to play instead of lamenting the past and turning the game upside down.
Avoiding Daughter-in-Law Problems: Privacy Should Be Considered a Priority
It is important for the mother-in-law to take a step back and allow the couple privacy and space. A mother must consider and respect the fact that her son has a wife to consider. They are now forming their own household and their business is personal.
Probing into confidential affairs is unthinkable. Privacy should always be considered a priority and mothers-in-law should not interfere or ask their sons for information. Many mothers-in-law lament that their knowledge is completely ignored. Unfortunately, they must accept such occurrences as a part of life. Continue reading →
“When nothing seems to help I go and look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it but all that had gone before.” Jacob Riis
I watched as the man shuffled down the aisle carrying a weight around his waist which screamed anxiety to me. He appeared to be quite old until I glimpsed his face and discovered he was maybe at the end of middle-age. He certainly had many more good years to offer but not to his thinking. It seemed apparent he had lost the fight, given up and resolved to sit back and watch others live while he wasted. I had seen him many times before and spoke briefly a few of those moments. In another time he was vibrant, astute and humorous. I felt disheartened watching him. What happened I asked myself. Why the change I reflected. I recalled a few reasons and problems he endured and was distressed at how the flow of life beats us down if it can. Sometimes the harder we attempt to fight back, the stronger we are forced to the ground and eventually crushed. Wait a minute I thought. Not everyone stays down. Some get back up on their feet not necessarily swinging but definitely smiling. Continue reading →