Tag Archives: parenting

My Issue With Breast Is Best

This is an article my daughter wrote about breast cancer which touched my heart. It is worth reading and better than anything I could ever write. It was written from the heart. It is important to remember that the hurts we bear and suffer are not always obvious. We will perhaps never know or understand fully what another person endures because we don’t walk in their shoes and never will.

“”Dignity is The moment you realize God had greater plans for you that don’t involve crying at night or sad Pinterest quotes. It is the moment you stop comparing yourself to others because it undermines your worth, education and your parent’s wisdom. Dignity is the moment you live your dreams, not because of what it will prove or get you, but because that is all you want to do. People’s opinions don’t matter.”  Shannon L. Alder

I read another post about the poison of GMO, corn syrup, baby formula.  One more post in an extensive news-feed.  It is opinion, and I can scroll past, but it feels like another not so subtle reminder of the “breast is best” undercurrent that permeates everything baby related.   As a physician I feel that breast feeding is ideal.  When I was a third year resident and I had my first baby I was adamant about exclusively breast feeding.  I cried when my milk didn’t come in right away after a long induction.   I also relished the fact that my newborn grew into a chubby, giggly infant and it was due to my own body.  I pumped and breastfed, it was a blur of insomnia knowing that I would have to go back to work.  I took time off and managed to keep a freezer full of breast milk in case my supply dropped off when I did go back.  As a resident with overnight calls I knew I couldn’t be sure how often I could pump, pagers go off, codes happen, patients, admissions, rapid responses, they don’t wait for pumping.  I was determined, I continued to pump, overnight, sometimes in bathrooms, call rooms, it depended on how far of a walk, and which were occupied.   I was determined to make the one year mark. Continue reading

Children Add The Touch Of Love

“It is not until much later, that children understand; their stories and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the water of their lives.”  “The miracle of children is that we just don’t know how they will change or who they will become.” Eileen Kennedy-Moore Paulo Coelho

“Lots Of Valuable Effort is the true full form of LOVE.” Aishwarya Shiva Pareek

“To reform the world – means to reform upbringing…” Janusz Korczak

I and everybody else is aware of checking the labels for any pills we are taking so we can check out the hazards. Many of us try to decide if  the hazards are worth the risk of taking the pills. As I watch the news daily and witness another assault on a child I wonder if kids should also come with all kinds of cautions and beware symbols. Seriously thou there is so much left out of the venture of raising children. Perhaps there ought to be warning signs or at least a book of instructions. Most of us jump in without a lot of hesitation. Continue reading

Kids Find Love In Family Life

elizabeth-fishel-quote-about-siblings“Children are like wet cement whatever falls on them makes an impression.”     Haim Ginott

“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”     Charles R. Swindoll

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”   Frederick Douglass

“Every child you encounter is a divine appointment.”   President Emeritus of Compassion International

“The soul is healed by being with children.”  Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“Children make your life important.”     Erma Bombeck,

I wish all who read this a very Happy New Year. Being the season of love and family I really wanted to focus on the family because we all have families in one form or another. From what I can surmise we all have varying degrees of love as well as  condemnation for these individuals. These are likely the people who teach us life lessons. Of course these teachings may be taught in a gentle or cruel manner but regardless we can learn from these encounters and move on, or allow  them to slip away unobserved.

Somehow I know this all ties in with love and family. Most people will admit that the one thing they want most in the world is love yet they don’t comprehend how much time and energy they place on other things that are far from love. Somehow there is a great need to get back to a happier and more peaceful place that surrounds us with love and demonstrates  in the contrast, how far off course we have actually traveled. Continue reading

Discover What’s Real

Discover What's Real“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” Joseph Campbell

“The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.” Johann Wolfgang Goethe

“It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters,” Amit Ray

“When you don’t know what you’re living for, you don’t care how you live from one day to the next. You’re happy the day has passed and the night has come, and in your sleep you bury the tedious question of what you lived for that day and what you’re going to live for tomorrow.” Ivan Goncharov

All the discussions we have that are centered around being satisfied are just words. It appears that we understand what it is we need to alter in order to be content, but we are simply too entrenched in our old way of thinking. So instead we talk about lessening our burdens, eating  healthier and spending more time with the family. Our intentions are awesome but they are more like those New Years’ resolutions that fall  by the wayside by the end of January.

I am not trying to block our ideas about bettering our lives. Making resolutions is wonderful and necessary to begin anything new. I just believe at least for myself, that I must attempt to act on them immediately before I give up on them or give in to the temptations of letting them go. Nobody plans on stopping their good intentions. It happens when our old way of thinking creeps in and nudges us to take care of this and that  before we attend to our home and family ideas. Of course the more we attend to what we perceive as the necessary agenda, the little time we have left over to get the good  intentions working.

How many times we pick up fast food because we are running late and the kids need to get to a sports, drawing or music appointment. We excuse ourselves this one time  because the meeting ran late. We resolve  to do better next week. As days and months pass we just dash our intentions.  They just  can’t jive with our lifestyle at the moment. I can’t express how many times I have said when things calm down I will do this or that. When I do repeat this phrase out loud  things only get more complicated. I can then blame all my responsibilities for failing my resolutions. It becomes my life styles’  fault  for my inability to stick with my promises.

Continue reading

Listen With Your Heart

“I will be waiting here….For your silence to break, for your soul to shake, for your love to wake!” Rumi

“Soul, if you want to learn secrets, your heart must forget about shame
 and dignity.
You are God’s lover, yet you worry what people are saying.”
“Brother, stand the pain. Escape the poison of your impulses. The sky will bow to your beauty, if you do. Learn to light the candle. Rise with the sun.
Turn away from the cave of your sleeping. That way a thorn expands to a rose.” Rumi

News stories everywhere are absolutely so wild that one would question their honesty. The strangest part is that so many people read or listen to these events while on the train to work or munching their cereal or eating popcorn in their favorite chair. That is perhaps as surreal as the stories. Without a doubt we have lost our sensitivity to the happenings surrounding us. It is just another normal day, so we think. Continue reading

SPANKING

SPANKING“Tired mothers find that spanking takes less time than reasoning and penetrates sooner to the seat of the memory.”    Will Durant

“Spanking and verbal criticism have become, to many parents, more important tools of child rearing than approval.” Phil Donahue

“Spanking is simply another form of terrorism. It teaches the victims that might makes right, and that problems can be solved through the use of violence by the strong against the weak.”

 “Infliction of pain or discomfort, however minor, is not a desirable method of communicating with children.”     American Medical Association

How and why did the state of Massachusetts hinder the advancement of our human evolution? I truly was shocked to hear of the Massachusetts, Justices decision to promote the guidelines for the use of physical punishment by parents. As a teacher, I am aware that loving a child and displaying kindness works far better. How is there anything LEGAL in guidelines promoting physical punishment by anyone? I suppose it sounds good and appeases parents who choose this form of discipline. Continue reading

Patience

“The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.”    Paulo Coelho

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”    Aristotle

“Why is patience so important?”
“Because it makes us pay attention.”    Paulo Coelho

“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.”    Rainer Maria Rilke

Most of us ascertain the degree of patience we believe we were born with. I surmise that  most of us believe we lose our patience regularly, and most of us react with patience when we least expect it. Likely we still enjoy commenting on a crying baby, or frustrating situation that is not easy to deal with. I looked up the description for the word patience, in the dictionary. I am out to prove that all of us have patience in one or more forms, and we exhibit this attribute daily. We simply don’t recognize patience for what it actually is and what it really means. Continue reading

Learning How To Fight Nicely

“No one fights dirtier or more brutally than blood; only family knows it’s own weaknesses, the exact placement of the heart. The tragedy is that one can still live with the force of hatred, feel infuriated that once you are born to another, that kinship lasts through life and death, immutable, unchanging, no matter how great the misdeed or betrayal. Blood cannot be denied, and perhaps that’s why we fight tooth and claw, because we cannot—being only human—put asunder what God has joined together.” Whitney Otto

“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” Mahatma Gandhi

“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.” Mahatma Gandhi

I think we might be low on encouragement. We all need it and want it, yet most of us most of the time never get it. Are we all so deprived, or tired that we can’t muster any kind words for each other. I know there are so many times I’d rather lash out at someone, in order to diffuse my anger. It might be that a bit of encouragement would surprise us, and disarm us in the process. Continue reading

Kids Blossom With Love & Two Parents

“My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce.”     Joyce Brothers

“But in the real world, you couldn’t really just split a family down the middle, mom on one side, dad the other, with the child equally divided between. It was like when you ripped a piece of paper into two: no matter how you tried, the seams never fit exactly right again. It was what you couldn’t see, those tiniest of pieces, that were lost in the severing, and their absence kept everything from being complete.”    Sarah Dessen

“The problem of unmet expectations in marriage is primarily a problem of stereotyping. Each and every human being on this planet is a unique person. Since marriage is inevitably a relationship between two unique people, no one marriage is going to be exactly like any other. Yet we tend to wed with explicit visions of what a “good” marriage ought to be like. Then we suffer enormously from trying to force the relationship to fit the stereotype and from the neurotic guilt and anger we experience when we fail to pull it off.”    M. Scott Peck

“Those who divorce aren’t necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.”    Alain de Botton

There is an onslaught of advice regarding parenting skills. If one attempts to find information, they will likely be inundated with more than they wanted. Sifting through all of this information is next to impossible. I must admit it is interesting and it provides so many interesting views on discipline and nurturing and ways one should go about it. The limitless supply of help leaves one confused regarding the implementation of any of it. Continue reading

Never Give Up

“If we would just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real and always try to understand the way other people feel and be less quick to anger and show appreciation more and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before. If we treat each other with  respect and more often wear a smile, remembering that this special dash might only last a little while. So when your eulogy is being read with your life’s actions to rehash would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?” Linda Ellis, Mac Anderson

Many young families need two incomes in order to make ends meet. This inevitably leads to both parents working. Tired parents may not always have the stamina to focus on their children. The truth is, how difficult it is, to find the endurance through some sort of compromise. It might be possible for each of the parents to have set nights to take care of the children. It might also suffice to take turns tucking children into bed. Whatever the system one chooses, children can’t be ignored nor neglected.  Balancing our schedules,  and making it work, without any compromising of our childrens’ needs is a tough task to accomplish. Continue reading