Tag Archives: relationship

Learning How To Fight Nicely

“No one fights dirtier or more brutally than blood; only family knows it’s own weaknesses, the exact placement of the heart. The tragedy is that one can still live with the force of hatred, feel infuriated that once you are born to another, that kinship lasts through life and death, immutable, unchanging, no matter how great the misdeed or betrayal. Blood cannot be denied, and perhaps that’s why we fight tooth and claw, because we cannot—being only human—put asunder what God has joined together.” Whitney Otto

“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” Mahatma Gandhi

“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent. Conquer him with love.” Mahatma Gandhi

I think we might be low on encouragement. We all need it and want it, yet most of us most of the time never get it. Are we all so deprived, or tired that we can’t muster any kind words for each other. I know there are so many times I’d rather lash out at someone, in order to diffuse my anger. It might be that a bit of encouragement would surprise us, and disarm us in the process. Continue reading

Payback

“A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.”    Francis Bacon

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”    Rumi

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.”    Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A small boy looked at a star and began to weep. The star said, ‘Boy, why are you weeping?’ And the boy said, ‘You are so far away I will never be able to touch you.’ And the star answered, ‘Boy, if I were not already in your heart, you would not be able to see me.”    John Magliola

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”    Rumi

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.”    Buddha

Likely our first thoughts after someone hurts us, are the manner in which we can get even with this person. In one way or another we conceive of ideas, to commit actions or words, that will emphasize our retaliation. Probably our hearts are racing, and we fill up with anger. At times it might be difficult to contain our attitudes, which affect everyone in our vicinity. The  fault we conceive, lies with  the person who hurt us. Continue reading

Courage

“It takes a  great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.”    Dumbledore, Harry Potter

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”  ~Mark Twain

“People are made of flesh and blood and a miracle fiber called courage.”  ~Mignon McLaughlin,

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.”  ~Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“Sometimes the biggest act of courage is a small one.”  ~Lauren Raffo

In order to accomplish just about anything in life, you need courage. Surprisingly, we all have varying degrees of it at any given time. When young athletes are anxious to play rather than always sitting on the bench, they must muster the courage to approach the coach and also be able to take the rejection. The important thing is they stood up for themselves. Speaking to a teacher regarding an academic issue can render the same kind of frustration and anxiety. Continue reading

Baggage

“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.”    Kahlil Gibran

“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.”    Kahlil Gibran

“We are all like the bright moon, we still have our darker side.”    Kahlil Gibran

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”  Cherokee Indian Proverb

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”  Buddha

I not only need  to stop packing so many items when I go on vacation but I also must release so much of the mental baggage I carry with me from year to year. Whenever I am feeling defeated, I hopelessly recall the numerous hurts of the past. That would be fine, if I could eventually lay them to rest, but that isn’t how it works. I just feel more saddened, and I review these same issues, again and again. Now it appears to be time to learn, how to let them go forever, and not just until my next depressing day. Continue reading

Confusion

“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”    Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one”    Rumi

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.”     Rumi

How is your life going? It appears I have said, “When things settle down, I will accomplish much.”  more times than I can count,  The problem is, things never settle down but are allows in a state of chaos. It seems I must live with this idea, or pretend there is serenity in the near future. I am sot sure why most of my life appears to be mixed up, but I have lived it this way for so long that it is all I know. The pot of something must be at the end of the rainbow. Continue reading

Trounce Spitefulness

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”    Dalai Lama

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”    Dalai Lama

“I am thankful for the difficult  people in my life for they have shown me exactly who I don’t want to be.”     Albert  Einstein

“Spiteful people suffer from the worse kind of hurt, learning, toxic thinking behavior and low self-esteem.” Ty Howard

Spite holds us all hostage throughout our lives. We suffer emotional unkindness from others purposefully and perhaps at times not purposefully. The emotions this kind of behavior triggers are difficult to control. It pushes us over the edge and into a malevolent reaction towards the transgressor which is more forceful than the original hurt we endured. In order to get spitefulness under control, it requires the need to face the vindictiveness head on so that we don’t give in to viciousness ourselves. Continue reading

Holiday Thoughts

“I don’t need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.”    Anonymous

“The Holiday season is a perfect time to reflect on our blessings, and seek out ways to make life better for those around us.”    Terri Marshal

The holidays are coming and you can already feel the anxiety. We all have it yet think we are the only ones sensing the stress. Some of us hide our fear better than others but without a doubt none of us like being criticized or gossipped about  when the occassion is over. In truth our reality differs from what another experiences. None of us comprehend the  total meaning  behind words actions or gifts  and we fret about our own situation unaware of the bombs we drop on others.

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Coping

“I can’t stop the waves but I can learn to surf.” Unknown

“When life’s problems seem overwhelming, look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself fortunate.” Unknown

“Is there a difference between happiness and inner peace? Yes. Happiness depends on conditions being perceived as positive; inner peace does not.”     Eckhart Tolle

How pompous it is to assume we know what another is feeling or dealing with in their lives. I for one have done that  so many times that I am drowning in my thoughts of regret. I never said anything hurtful to the people who were suffering with situations but I never totally understood the depth of their problems. Suffice it to say that I now realize there are perhaps many issues others must face that are much more difficult than they appear on the surface. Continue reading

The Search For Satisfaction

“Only  the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”    Dalai Lama

“You say, ‘If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.’ You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled.”    Charles Spurgeon

“But I do know we’re deficient in some way. We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don’t satisfy us. The loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted.”     Mitch Alborn  Tuesdays with Morrie

“Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren’t satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other.”     Ann Voskamp
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

I realized the other day, how much influence media has on our lives. If any of us know how manipulating it is we perhaps would be horrified. It leads us through a path of  never ending wants not needs. Actually all the wants take up more and more of our time. If we get the boat we have to clean, store and maintain it. Nobody helps us with that kind of work. Pools likewise require a lot of hard work with maintenance issues. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves if any of it is worth our time effort and trouble. Continue reading

Simplicity

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”    Mark Twain

“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”    Mark Twain

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”    Mark Twain

“”It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”    Mark Twain

I was listening to the news, and began laughing at the seriousness of one person’s perception, of the correct thing to do. He was confident in his thinking, and positive about his righteousness in the matter. Of course he believed others who differed with him, to be without care and evil. My first thought was he must not reflect very much about anything. For sure I would not enjoy judging the good or evil of anyone.

We all have our causes or ways for doing things. Mothers-in-law and Daughters-in-law confront each other all the time, regarding new ways and thoughts and old ways and ideas. It is only when we lose sight, of how our defense of issues impacts us as individuals,, that we begin to understand each other.  If we are never open to change or evolution, then we lose the insight and delegate ourselves as gurus of some kind. Those who need to change, for the sake of change, are just  as lost. Continue reading