Tag Archives: tolerance

Perils Of Judgement

“love is the absence of judgement.”    Dalai Lama XIV

“Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly loving and compassionate, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to abuse us, to smile and let anyone do what they want with us. Yet this is not what is meant by compassion.Quite the contrary. Compassion is not at all weak. It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world.”     Sharon Salzberg

Everyday I find myself irritated with so many people, that  I wonder if they are living in a fog. Of course if I think long enough about it, I realize I am a bit impatient with these people. It doesn’t make their annoyances any more acceptable, but I manage to hold my criticism in for the most part. I never consider myself impatient. My tolerance level  has always been commendable, but there lies the secret. I do endure the trivial complaining of others but deep down I resent the issues people complain about. I guess I am a secret judge. Continue reading

Take The Positive Approach

“No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an enchanted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.” Helen Keller

Was the meeting expressive or repressive? We survived it. It would be nice if we could say we enjoyed it and I am now convinced I can say it I do enjoy the gatherings. I focus on my attitude and not the attitude of others. If someone tries to draw me into a controversial discussion I do not take the bait. Sometimes people are just in a bad mood so I keep my distance until it is safe. Did you ever notice as I have that when I am in a bad mood I tend to take it out on the same person. It seems to happen that some person is most likely the recipient of our anger if they are nearby. Of course if they are not it leaves us with finding another.

It proves to me that lots of times my anger might be unjustified and the result of my own mood. I am beginning to feel guilty already. if I upset others  it results in a domino effect. It makes me think beyond my decision and concludes with a more positive result. To think how many times I have caused my own terrible  experiences makes me want to reprimand myself. Continue reading

Infuriating People

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding.” Albert Einstein

Being an observer, I noticed how many of us get fired up about things that are aggravating or upsetting. We tend to dwell on those issues that anger us. The more we think about it and discuss it, the stronger the flame gets. It makes us want to correct the problem or so we think. So we lash out at the object of our perceived frustration throwing all of our blaze at them. We watch as our opponent burns to ashes.  We walk away satisfied. On our way back to sanity we convince ourselves or try to convince ourselves that they deserved it, and maybe even made us do it. we were correct to retaliate. Continue reading

Avoid Sibling Competitiveness

“Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

Competing with siblings or siblings-in-law creates a no-win situation. Being right or wrong is not as important as how well every one’s sense of worth remains intact. Maintain your self-confidence, and be cognizant of the vulnerability in others. Words spoken from the tips of tongues are not profound deliberations.

Many times they are in anger, retaliation, revenge or simply a bad attitude or mood. If one attempts to stop the competition, every try is a step in the right direction towards tolerance and peace. Competition promotes anger frustration and feelings of revenge while compromise evokes friendship and cooperation. I’ll help you and you’ll help me attitude. I will strive for the latter. Memories of the day will be so much more enjoyable and cherished by all.

 “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” Marcel Proust

Have CourageTo Stop, Sit, And Listen

“Reputation is what others think about you; character is what God knows about you. Adrian Rogers

Independence can mean different things to a variety of people. This liberty is vital and necessary. Regarding the mother-in-law (MIL) and daughter-in-law (DIL) it allows one to accept help when one needs it and to refuse it when a person doesn’t want aid. We all have capacities and talents. If we trust ourselves and have confidence, we recognize at times, the need to acquiesce to another so as not to decimate their independence.

Even if certain ideas are more appealing or are proven to be better, silence may be our best ally. We can’t push our ways onto another. We can be right and we can be wrong because we are independent of another. Security and confidence produces a kindness sprinkled with patience. We have nothing to prove. When we have the need to make a point or win an argument we are less confident full of anxiety due to our inner feelings of inadequacies. It doesn’t mean we are lacking at all. It does exhibit a need for inner contemplation and a sense of questioning why we feel inferior. Continue reading