Tag Archives: understanding

Mercy Is The Other Side Of Love

Animals19“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
Oscar Wilde

“there is a God, there always has been. I see him here, in the eyes of the people in this [hospital] corridor of desperation. This is the real house of God, this is where those who have lost God will find Him… there is a God, there has to be, and now I will pray, I will pray that He will forgive that I have neglected Him all of these years, forgive that I have betrayed, lied, and sinned with impunity only to turn to Him now in my hour of need. I pray that He is as merciful, benevolent, and gracious as His book says He is.” Khaled Hosseini

I was looking up the word mercy the other day and discovered  so many words attached to it that it surprised me due to their different meanings like the words kindness, understanding and generosity. We might ask ourselves what does generosity have to do with mercy. Of course if you forgive someone who may not deserve forgiveness in most peoples’  eyes, so  perhaps you have bestowed mercy in a generous way. I had to think about it for a long time. Continue reading

The Need To Be Understood

“In the past there were people who were not rich but contented with their living style, laughing and happy all day. But when the new rich people appear, people look at them and ask, ‘why don’t I have a life like that too, a beautiful house, car and garden,’ and they abandon their values.”    Thich Nhat Hanh

“People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don’t suffer anymore.”    Thich Nhat Hanh

~ “Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have, happiness comes.”     Thich Nhat Hanh

Here we go again attempting to explain what we meant by our recent discourse. The person misinterpreted our meaning. I would not doubt for  a second, how many times we are caught in such a situation. We just don’t grasp the implications from our interactions with others. The result is bewildering and hurt feelings. Misunderstandings and long time  rifts of one sort or another are inevitable. Continue reading

Reduce Your Problems

“There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment.”    Robert Brault

 “every sunrise is an invitation for us to rise and brighten someone’s day.  Richelle E. Goodrich

I recently heard from a young friend that her parents were getting a divorce. They had been married over 25 yrs. My friend is married yet so very hurt, and yes traumatized. It might seem crazy but divorce hurts the children, regardless of their age. It brings it back to relationships and understanding.

At times, we just don’t understand others motives, words or actions. Many times we jump to conclusions that are not true. As a daughter-in-law, I remember times when I felt the cold shoulder from my mother-in-law, and I would think hard about what I might have done to cause it. Now that I am a mother-in-law, I wonder why my daughters-in-law at times, are so quiet. I sat down one day and laughed because it occurred to me that maybe they had just had a fight with their husband, or somebody else, and their attitudes had nothing to do with me. Continue reading

When Things Backfire

“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.”  Aldous Huxley

“Don’t smother each other, no one can grow in the shade.” leo  Buscaglia

One Mother-in-law complained that her once excellent relationship with her Daughter-in-law was becoming strained. Her DIL, who had just had a baby, was planning on going back to work immediately. The MIL couldn’t understand this because she stated, her DIL had waited and tried for years to get pregnant. She didn’t have to work but chose to return. What came of many discussions was that her DIL had a childhood devoid of a father. Her father died suddenly and her mother had to work to make ends meet. They were poor but they managed. The young woman never forgot her childhood years and just couldn’t bring herself to give up what she considered to be her security. The two agreed to disagree and renewed their relationship. Continue reading

Release a Burden Admit You Were Wrong

“Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond a doubt that they are right.” Laurens Van der

“I am sorry,” are three little words that are very difficult to say. It is kind of a mystery because we are all so quick to say we know we are not always correct and we admit that we don’t always do the right thing. We have no problem acknowledging we have made mistakes in the past yet in the present it is a different story. It is as if we are a different person and unwilling to concede we were at fault. The earth may shatter if those three words are spoken. How many of us will admit we were partially to blame. We manage to avoid guilt. Maybe we are of the mindset that the other person needs to accept a piece of the fault. It allows us then, to admit our mistakes in the matter and save face. As sorry as a person might be, they will refuse to turn the other cheek if their foe will not take any culpability in the matter. Their apologies will be short lived and most likely they will be on the attack mode again. Continue reading

Arrogance Always Succumbs to Humility

“The one-a-day vitamin for the soul is helping another person.” Stephen Post

The other day someone asked me about my definition of humility. That was tough. I thought and thought for days and kept trying to come up with something that made sense to me. I know what it isn’t but it is hard to describe what it is. When you get a compliment don’t say I never really do look this good, or this dress has been hanging in my closet for twenty years. That is not humility as some of us might think. It almost seems the opposite. Continue reading

Stop Envy and Heal Pain – Caring For Yourself And Others

“Shallow men believe in luck Strong men believe in cause and effect.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all experience envy throughout our lifetimes. But even though it may always be present, we can keep envious feelings restrained. All of us struggle to balance our lives. We presume on the surface others have life easier. But all of us struggle. Some hide the labor of their lives better than others and some complain less. The grind is enduring for all. Supporting each other as well as managing the envious tendencies can make life so much easier. Praise and gratitude promote healing for our pain, frustration and envy. Complimenting another actually releases our envy. It can evaporate our insecurities and allow us to see the good qualities in another without making ourselves feel diminished. Our talents are real. We need to recognize them. We don’t need to be someone else to gain satisfaction in our lives. Continue reading

Never Allow Anger to Overpower Reason

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; You are the one who gets burned.”     Buddha

How many times have we began a discussion with someone and ended up in an angry confrontation, or worse, an escalated battle. It happens. Especially when we are tired or simply overburdened, we tend to allow heightened sensitivities to overcome our thought processes. We may want to straighten out a disagreement or confront another about a sticky situation. Even if we have set the time and place, we still must reflect on what we want to accomplish in this planned argument. We are fooling ourselves by thinking we are trying to resolve the conflict, when we are totally attempting to make our own arguments and win the battle. Continue reading