Discover The Self

“You don’t always  have to defend yourself in words. Silence gives people the clue you have better thoughts in mind.” Pinterest (anonymous)

“Anyone who has never made a  mistake has  never tried anything new.” Albert Einstein

“An old man said “Erasers are made for those who make mistakes.” A  youth replied, “Erasers  are made for those who are willing to correct their mistakes!” Attitude matters. Anonymous

How difficult it is to discover the self and uncover some hidden truths about  the ways we sabotage our life. I suppose we are thinking that is not true. I know I attempt to discover who I am all the time and understand myself. If I discover a problem I try to fix it or if I discover something worthy I work to make it better. I don’t want to waste my time on falsehoods but the truth in my attempts is I want to discover what makes me who I am. Continue reading “Discover The Self”

Trapped In A Half Empty Glass

“In the end it is not the years in your life that count but the life in your years.” Abraham Lincoln

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others?” Martin Luther King Jr.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say I used everything you gave me.” Erma Bombeck

I find it so easy being trapped in my own thoughts and seeing life as half empty. I admit that  happy days make it unnecessary to  think so hard about life in general. Difficult days make me review every single word spoken to me. Everything people say and do is a competition. Most of us would definitely say they are not  competing with anyone but the opposite is true. Every second  every day it happens unless we consciously stop the runaway thoughts. Continue reading “Trapped In A Half Empty Glass”

Trivial Person

Other people can make us feel like a trivial person.  So as Gary Zukav said, “The next time you feel unworthy, inadequate or inferior, remember that these experiences have nothing to do with humbleness, any more than lowering yourself to connect with another individual has to do with humbleness. There are no lower or higher individuals in the perception of a humble person. There are only souls.” There is only love. Gary”

“Many a man will have the courage to die gallantly, but will not have the courage to say, or even to think, that the cause for which he is asked to die is an unworthy one.”  Bertrand Russell

“One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” Sigmund Freund

Perhaps we make ourselves feel trivial when we don’t value us. Whenever people are getting together it can be a happy time. It all changes for the worse when the occasion is cancelled due to the inability of some of the people being able to attend. What tugs at our hearts is the number of times the gathering occurs even though we are the one who can’t attend. It can leave us with a sense of unworthiness at being that person that doesn’t count for much and is considered the inconsequential entity.

Many times we are  aware of what we perceive as our placement in life and more than aware of the pain in generates in our hearts. We can attempt to please people and say all of the correct things yet we are not acknowledged for inclusion. Whether we are for or against something has little influence on our stature in a group setting. I have often wondered why some people are left in the trivial pile while others can be constantly recognized as the special and worthy people. I can only surmise  that it has to  do with maybe who we are on the inside. Perhaps others genuinely see that we want to be a part of the system but we won’t bend to something we don’t believe in, or we won’t allow others to be left on the sidelines.

I  remember one friend who refused to give up her best friend, which was the cost, if she wanted to be a part of a larger “in” group of kids. As a teen this must have been rather tempting but in the end she couldn’t do it so she gave up the honor of being included in the elite group at school. It is amazing why we must have certain groups at all. It empowers people  to feel special and more important than the person sitting next to them. In the process the person sitting beside them is demoted.

In a way this pretentiousness appears to be with a lot of secrecy, crutches and demands. I would think we would have to think act and talk a certain way and basically agree with the groups’ ideas. It leaves no room for independence. Yes it may be difficult to stand alone but you do have freedom which we do value. When we commit to marriage we have demands that legally and morally ought to be followed. These rules are different than group rules which actually take away freedom. In any type of allegiance there are rules. I believe within groups there are unspoken rules which must be accepted without question if one wants to be included. Then we can receive instant friends, gratifications and support. Doesn’t this all sound conditional? Marriage has rules but they are negotiable between the two parties.

It appears that we give up our freedom and rights to have friends and a sense of belonging. I say a sense of belonging because we are not really that self-assured, independent, or a socially accepted person with numerous friends attached to us all of the time. It is actually a charade that we are playing in order to appear perfect and worthy of acceptance. Of course that leaves the rest of us on the outside of the circle wondering what is wrong with us that we are not good enough to  be included. One can easily lose this acceptance and  the so called close friends can become the enemies.

We don’t stop to think about what individuals  had to give up in order to maintain the pretend status. We don’t see the anxiety found in those who are barely hanging on to their status in the group nor the guilt ridden people who sense that excluding others is not that cool. Most just continue on their path and cover up their doubts and nervousness with the happiness of having friends and companions to hang out with.

Most of us believe there is something wrong if we are okay with spending time alone with ourselves. we may not require a multitude of friends to eat up our time. We get to think what we want to do and we have the authority to dismiss any kind of judgment others send our way. We are actually the lucky ones with our own thoughts and minds. I value being my own boss and overseeing my own cause and effect.

I don’t mean we can never join any group but the groups that are open to all are the ones worth joining. Whenever others are excluded and this can be in all areas of society including kid groups or teen groups. That is when it becomes a problem because it rates and demeans others causing them to feel trivial. How horrible is that? How can we live with ourselves if we devalue others without a thought?

The important thing is that we don’t allow this to define who we are. If we let this into our minds and hearts enough to influence the way we think and feel then we have done a disservice to us. Being stronger against the tide is important. Basically we are all born alone, die alone and live within our own frame of thoughts. We learn in our own way, give to others in our own manner and interpret daily happenings with our own schemata.

Maybe joining with others frees us from making decisions which frees us from feeling accountable. When we don’t make any mistakes we never learn and by doing only what we perceive to be the correct thing to do never teaches us anything new. If we were not so quick to judge others perhaps we wouldn’t be so worried about the fact that others are swift about judging us. That is why we feel safe in groups because groups create the shield against anyone on the outside. This is a false sense of security.

There is so much of our lives we have to face alone. To understand life and love as well as friendship and compassion we must be opened to a variety of experiences involving a multitude of people. Constantly seeking only the familiar and safety net we never find the treasures of the undiscovered gems of life. We really are the same deep down. We all experience fear stress and pain. We can also experience joy happiness and love that is not conditional. Trust becomes a necessary part of true living. Being able to venture  beyond our gate of seclusion and fear allows us to learn and experience so much more of life.

Marriage and other commitments may cause us some necessary boundaries but they don’t exclude others from being our friends. Teen groups child groups and any type of group that sends a message to others that they are better or above people only cause heartache. They are not worthy of having us join. We are not trivial and never were trivial. We created that in our own minds because others plant the seeds in us. It is up to us to comprehend our own power and worth. All of us face our own problems and good times. I would say that our value  is the amount of worth we see and foster in others. That can’t help but reflect and shine on us. We never were nor never will be a trivial person.

“Don’t allow people to make you feel unworthy. What they fear in you are qualities they would like to posses themselves. ” Unknown

“Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough. It means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.” anonymous

“Live simply expect little give much. scatter sunshine, forget self  think of others.” Norman Vincent Peale

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” Maya Angelou

Continue reading “Trivial Person”

Drop The Doubt

“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.” Kahlil Gibran

“Faith is to see what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. People hate the truth for the sake of whatever it is they love more than the truth. They love the truth when it shines warmly on them, and hate it when it rebukes them.” Saint Augustine

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.” Voltaire

“The truth is like a lion, you don’t have to defend it, it will defend itself.” Anonymous

I used to actually have the belief that I did not doubt anyone. I pride myself at leaving my bag in a church bench when I go up to the alter at the front of the church. Wow I am a trusting person. Simple acts like that made me have faith in myself for being a trusting person. Now I have my doubts. I looked up doubt in the dictionary and found such definitions as hesitation. I am crushed already because I am a very cautious person unless there is an emergency. Reservations and misgivings appear to be almost natural for most of us. After all we all sense that there are a lot of people “OUT THERE” who will hurt us if they have the chance. Continue reading “Drop The Doubt”

Power Struggles

“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” Rumi
“The true measure of success is how many times you can bounce back from failure.” Stephen Richards

“The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance.” Shannon L. Alder

Power struggles are painful and stressful. I wonder how we get ourselves into a power struggle and why. I hate to say this but again I sometimes think our egos get us in the middle. We don’t have to have big egos either in order to have it throw up its’ head in arrogance. Perhaps our egos just hate to always lose and on any given day we are apt to appear more prideful than we actually  are or believe. Continue reading “Power Struggles”

Threatened Egos

“You are good enough smart enough and beautiful enough, strong enough believe it and stop letting insecurity run your life.” Thomas D.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Steve Furtick

“Sometimes our thought are backed by so much insecurity that they create lies we believe.” Anonymous

How sensitive we all are without exception when egos are threatened. Even those of us who remain calm in hurtful situations perhaps carry the pain well into the future. Some people say I am cutting my connections to this person or that one. Others say I am finding that person so annoying that I need to get some space between us. At other times we choose to place these people into the background of our lives and have some chance meetings or some few and far between planned get togethers. Continue reading “Threatened Egos”

Losers?

“I am disturbed when I see the majority of so-called Christians having such little understanding of the real nature of the faith they profess. Faith is a subject of such importance that we should not ignore it because of the distractions or the hectic pace of our lives.”    William Wilberforce

“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.”    Lance Armstrong

“Sri Yukteswar showed no special consideration to those who happened to be powerful or accomplished; neither did he slight others for their poverty or illiteracy. He would listen respectfully to words of truth from a child, and openly ignore a conceited pundit.”    Paramahansa Yogananda

“Scripture is filled with examples of men and women whom God used late in life, often with great impact – men and women who refused to use old age as an excuse to ignore what God wanted them to do.”    Billy Graham

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”     Marian Wright Edelman

I have often considered myself a loser without having any need to say it out loud. So many times I have watched as other people jump in ahead of me to say or do something. It may be in my mind or heart to make a difference but I am just late on the response. I have always been the last one to get a joke if I got it at all. I received the lower grades than my siblings and was never picked in school to take a part in a school play. School plays are almost obsolete now but at one time quite apropos. I think one can easily get the picture of where I stood in everyone’s eyes. That is what I believed

Continue reading “Losers?”

Oppression

“It is often easier to become outraged by injustice
half a world away than by oppression and discrimination half a block from home.”
Carl T. Rowan

“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself.” Thomas Paine

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.” Theodore H. White

“You don’t have the power to make life “fair,” but you do have the power to make life joyful.”    Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I recently heard someone discussing  oppression and they became quite animated as they discussed their viewpoints. I  considered this topic in light of the world. All countries have their own ways of cruelty and tyranny. I was amazed at the other terms covering the meaning of oppression. Subjugation and persecution also fall into this category. Likely most of us might say we don’t persecute anyone nor subjugate any person. Continue reading “Oppression”

The Dignity Of Coincidence

“Dignity is the moment you realize that you were always the right person. Only ignorant people walk away from greatness.”
Shannon L. Alder

“Dignity is also the moment you believe that love is not about losing or winning. It is just a few moments in time, followed by an eternity of situations to grow from.” Shannon L. Alder

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” Albert Einstein

So many of us believe that we are calm, get along with others and take things as they come yet much of what happens is not a coincidence. If we get frustrated at any point and with any person, place or thing then perhaps we are not so easy going as we believe we are. I am not suggesting that being upset with a person place or thing is a bad thing. There are numerous items everyday along with many people and places that cause us to be stopped  annoyed and on the brink of losing all dignity. Continue reading “The Dignity Of Coincidence”

WORRIES AND COMPETITION

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.”
– Lao Tzu

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life”    Socrates

“The key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.”     Dalai Lama

“All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this: Act as if it were impossible to fail.”    Dorthea Brande

Comparisons of all kinds send us into arguments and sometimes battles. We find it so difficult to compromise and find a happy medium. Has anyone thought how easily it happens? A very simple ordinary conversation can suddenly turn into a confrontation because someone gets  irritated. Perhaps one of the parties didn’t get to speak as much as the other. One party may have made more points with their discussion than the other. Someone might have gotten bored with the conversation and attempts to walk away while the other person expects them to stay and listen to their rhetoric. Continue reading “WORRIES AND COMPETITION”