Right And Wrong

“if we tell them the brain is an app maybe they will use it.” Anonymous “So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after “Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.” Leo Tolstoy “Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.” Augustine of Hippo

Focusing more on what is honest mindful  and right about our lives and behavior sends what is dishonest immoral and wrong in our lives fleeing in despair. I know  we should focus on the good but are we pretending there is no bad in our midst? Is the fear of offending anyone keeping us from truth and reality? I can’t help but wonder that in all of our thoughts regarding freedom and democracy we  have lost the spirit of honesty, mindfulness, and conscience. Continue reading “Right And Wrong”

Are We Using Our Senses?

We have the gift of our senses but we don’t always use our senses nor attempt to apply our sixth sense. “The intuitive mind is a sacred  gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We  have created a society that  honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” “If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend twenty-five minutes thinking about a solution and five minutes thinking about solving it.”   Albert Einstein

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.” Albert Einstein

There was such an uproar about  birth order that I found it interesting to reason why we can’t use our senses. I think as human beings we must categorize everything, find solutions, weigh burdens and assets, compare gains support and advantages and compete against each other constantly. We  just can’t admit that everyone has their own issues to deal with. That is the truth. It somehow makes it more important if we can convince others that our lot in life is worse or more difficult. This is full of comparisons and competition of all kinds. Continue reading “Are We Using Our Senses?”

Rituals

“To me it seems that too many young women of this time share the same creed. ‘Live, laugh, love, be nothing but happy, experience everything, et cetera et cetera.’ How monotonous, how useless this becomes. What about the honors of Joan of Arc, Beauvoir, Stowe, Xena, Princess Leia, or women that would truly fight for something other than just their own emotions?” Criss Jami

“Everything ritualistic must be strictly avoided, because it immediately turns rotten. Of course a kiss is a ritual too and it isn’t rotten, but ritual is permissible only to the extent that it is as genuine as a kiss.”     Ludwig Wittgenstein

It was interesting when someone mentioned the rituals we all go through daily without any thought. It really was inspiring because it brought many questions and revelations regarding our life as usual approach. Our repetitive words and actions appear to be mindless and without any depth. It made me wonder  how much of my day was actually lived. Continue reading “Rituals”

Seeing Beyond The Obvious

The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe without evaluating.”    Jiddu Krishnamurti

“It’s funny how, in this journey of life, even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others so that we may share our love, compassion, observations, and hope. This is a design of God that I appreciate and cherish.”    Steve Maraboli

“To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.”    Marilyn Vos Savant

Has anyone ever  wondered about whether the dream state is real or the waking state in the morning is the true life? It is weird when we have a vivid dream and feel like it actually could have happened. What arouses my curiosity is the fact that we go about our business everyday thinking we are accomplishing so much and living so much. Now I question if we are living at all or simply traveling in an enclosed dream-like state. Continue reading “Seeing Beyond The Obvious”

Interpretation

Interpretation“Have you thought about what it means to be a god?” asked the man. He had a beard and a baseball cap. “It means you give up your mortal existence to become a meme: something that lives forever in people’s minds, like the tune of a nursery rhyme. It means that everyone gets to re-create you in their own minds. You barely have your own identity any more. Instead, you’re a thousand aspects of what people need you to be. And everyone wants something different from you. Nothing is fixed, nothing is stable.”     Neil Gaiman, American Gods

“A very single fact could emerge into many versions of truth,
depends on the number of eyewitnesses and interpretations.”    Toba Beta

“The word of God came down to man as rain to soil, and the result was mud, not clear water.”    Kim Stanley Robinson

The smallest atom, might be interpreted in a far different way in your review, versus my review. Clearly, most of us have not come to terms with the huge amount of differences of opinion on every available subject. Some of us are super critical, and judge with eagle eyes. It is our job to find mistakes. Others like to slip things by, on the notion of stretching the norms a bit. I suppose, that is where most of our questions find themselves in jeopardy.

Perhaps the clearest folly, is when there is nothing apparent, yet we find an error which is fabricated within our minds. I don’t  believe we deliberately accuse an innocent person. I think we can’t at times, witness and admit honesty in any kind or form.  We search for the failure, believing it is there, just not yet discovered. There is a lot of time wasted on useless observing, of innocent facts and people. Many times our distrust, may cause a relationship of one kind or another to falter. We may also ruin the innocent start  of a new connection, due to our constant digging and assessment of the facts.

I wonder if we have been trained to disbelieve, until proven correct. Even the most liberal among us, has problems believing in something that appears to be too good to be true. We have become cynical. You have to wonder, if it is due to our societies lack of honesty? Or have most of us been duped so many times by family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and strangers, that we won’t immediately warm up to the most sincere person we meet.

We quickly challenge the store clerk, co-worker, family and friend, yet we can be fooled by the spouse, which renders us defeated and mystified. I  would guess, that if our family, friends and co-workers are cheating or lying to us, it is not a far cry to fathom our spouse might be doing the same. Now the saddest happening is the transformation of the person, who gets back up on their feet, after having been hurt.  They are  tainted from trusting anyone. That is the possible result of the deception.

With so much deception going around, I wonder if that is why we are so negative in our interpretation of others. We are obviously quicker to believe  the person meant us harm, rather than believing they had our best interest at heart. It makes  sense that the more you suffer deceit, at the hands of those you love, the more guarded you become, especially at the hands of strangers. I still believe it is a tragic situation, to always weigh in on the negative side.

I recall one daughter-in-law buying her mother-in-law a bread maker. The mother-in-law loved homemade bread but hated to cook. The daughter-in-law thought it would be nice if her mother-in-law got to have bread as often as she wanted, rather than just when she got invited to dinner at her son’s house. Of course you would think the mother-in-law would have been overjoyed at the present. She was anything but. She thought her daughter-in-law was attempting to give her the brush-off, from the invites to dinner. That was clearly not at all part of the thinking, on the daughter-in-law’s repertoire.

It took some time before the issue got resolved, and the relationship was back on track. When the mother-in-law explained how she felt about the gift, her daughter-in-law explained her reasoning about the gift. Both women laughed but learned a life-long lesson. We never really understand why others construe things the way they do. As much as we believe we are helping, we might be surprised to discover we have actually hurt someone, without any intentions of doing so.

Another women was insulted at the house gifts her daughter-in-law gave to her. The woman treasured and craved a less expensive gift, that she could wear, instead of the kitchen utensil that would have alleviated her time. It took years until she finally let out the real truth one day, mostly because of her hurt and anger. The daughter-in-law loved the latest gadgets, and she believed she was helping her mother-in-law to be up to date with technology. The mother-in-law realized her daughter-in-law was not the uncaring person she thought. Her daughter-in-law had actually put a lot of thinking into her gifts. Both women were dismayed, at the total misunderstanding of the situation.

One daughter-in-law was disgusted at her mother-in-law’s nature gifts. Although she admitted she admired all of the plants given to  her, when  she happily  placed them in her garden. The daughter-in-law still clung to the belief that a gift was to be an indulgence for her. She did not relish another plant. She was not an outside person, as she put it. Regardless of the cost, she refused to manage any more flowers . After a few years, and numerous hints, a request from the son to his mother was made. After that the mother-in-law began buying more personal items for her daughter-in-law, on any given occasion.

On the surface, all of these stories may appear harmless enough, but in reality they were painful, and long enduring for the women involved. The women compiled years of resentment and frustration. They even believed the disliked  gifts were given on purpose, to cause them misery. In the first place, these women were not totally trusting, because if they had been, they might have been able to accept the gifts in good faith and move on.

The same can happen with words. One person asks for the truth regarding an item of clothing. When they get the actual answer, and they don’t like it, resentment enters into the relationship. We must realize if we want honesty, we must be willing to receive any and all answers. Even if we don’t like an answer, we must understand that what we believe can be very different from what another thinks. Trusting ourselves first is perhaps the best solution.

I remember a time at a party at my daughters house. I forgot something and happen to be facing another woman at the party. I frowned as she was finishing up with a story and she reasoned I was not agreeing with her, when she witnessed my frown. As much as I attempted to explain, she wouldn’t listen. My mind had been on other things and not her conversation. To this day she likely believes that I didn’t like what she said. I can’t take the incident back, and I can’t get her to have faith in me. All any of us can do, is trust that others have confidence in our honesty.

The way we analyze  other people is frightening. More so because if we are not always tuned into what they are saying or doing, we have set the stage for a confrontation. Maybe the social media makes it easier for all of us to get along. I don’t regard the media as an honest elucidation, due to the fact that the senses are not more involved.  We see words on a page. In a way it takes no courage to print a quick message. It requires no thinking,  no facial expression, and a complete disregard of the tone of our voices.

I do participate within the media but I love the human interactions the best. Someone that speaks the correct words, that you want to hear, but expresses a bit of a doubt on their faces, has rendered you some help at times. You have the kindness of their hearts backing you up, and the honesty of their look, which tells you to do something else. There is comfort with a bit of assurance tucked inside.  Nobody likes to intentionally hurt another individual. There are times that call for veracity, if one is to make a correct decision. It may require us to leap out of  our comfort zone, but when we love and want the best for another, we make the effort.

Interpretations  are  not reality. They are not truthful nor anything that can hold water. They are misguided understanding, resulting from many uncontrolled conditions. There are times when our own reliance may be off kilter. We might be best to take what we can, from the hints derived from our interactions with others. Wait for a sunnier day to take another look, before making any decisions. Life almost needs to be viewed, in the way a spider sees the world through his many eyes. There is so much to reflect on, and so many views to interpret. We might find we are both correct in our analysis, yet find our conclusions dissimilar. Life is similar to looking through a crystal glass. We all see different versions of the world. We also focus our attention on a variety of items. Nothing is  exact, so relying on a clarification might be helpful to us all.

“The context in which a photograph is seen affects the meaning the viewer draws from it.”    Stephan Shore

“There is no such thing as objectivity. We are all just interpreting signals from the universe and trying to make sense of them. Dim, shaky, weak, static-y little signals that only hint at the complexity of a universe we cannot begin to understand.”     Bones

“Change your thinking, your interpretation of he world, change the way you see! To change the way you see is to change the world.”    Lean-Yves Leloup

“Every man, it seems, interprets the world in the light of his habits and desires”
Richard Wright

“The meaning of life is not a search—it is a choice. Meaning is not found in things; meaning is what you make of things. The world means nothing by itself. You give it all the meaning it has. Thus, the meaning of life is a choice you make, not just once, but every waking hour of your day. 

Life is like art—it is all about interpretation. The moment anything happens to you, you interpret a meaning for it. The meaning you vote for then governs your perception, your thinking, your faith, your choices, your feelings, your behaviors, everything! Whenever you elect a new meaning, this changes everything.”    Robert Holden

“Words never change. What changes is how one interprets them.”    Marty Rubin

 

Voice Transformation

Voice Transformation“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”    Aristotle

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”    Ambrose Bierce

“The best fighter is never angry.”    Lao Tzu

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses.”    William Arthur Ward

I was listening to a youg friend talking the other day and couldn’t help but smile. His voice which normally had an air of youthful authority, was suddenly direct even and just a tiney bit faster than normal. Of course he had an important message to give so I could see why his words were swift.

What surprised me was how different he sounded. You could hear his maturity in his speech. There was no need for his usual pushy and aggressive attitude. His voice had changed to a deliberate straightforward mode. I smiled just recalling how just a few years had past and he had definitely matured.

It made me understand how our tone, loudness, tempo, infractions, emphasized letters, drawled words and pitch made any sentence more than a sentence. It was as if it told our thoughts, age dilemma fear and mood. I believe that is why computers and technology in general will never replace the human voice. Somehow feelings, emotions attitudes and thoughts go into our every monologue and spoken interaction. We can’t hide our emotions.

Children know immediately when parents are angry about anything. The stern clipped sentences that range a bit louder than normal,  at least at the beginning of the episode, tell the kids to scatter. Dad or mom is searching for something or upset about anything and they don’t want to be the unwilling victims of a parents’ foul mood.

When parents review a bad report card they hesitate and one can envision the anger rising up their necks and into their angry red faces. Of course the child is waiting for the explosion. The parent may begin with an even slow voice but the pace picks up quickly as fast as the loudness increases. Within seconds like a rocket the words tumble out so fast the child is unable to comprehend the meaning that is being delivered. What the child does know is to simply listen and refrain from interruptions. This is accomplished and the child is at times punished grounded and sent to their room.

I remember listening to the arguments between my older brother and our father. Of course my brother had the mouth that would not remain still. As much as I admired his courage, to this day I never understood his inability to learn the importance of silence. I would watch my dad’s face sternly focus on my brother while words of wrath tumbled from his mouth. Whenever there was a pause my brother chimed in with some sort of a retort then blast off, my dad was furious.

I could observe my brother almost chuckling at the power he had to send his dad to the moon so easily. I on the other hand held my breath and hoped the incident would be short lived. Otherwise life would be difficult for all of us until the next day. I remember my father’s almost breathless words stumbling out.  The voice was almost inaudible. My dad’s body was always rigid at this point and his neck muscles stood out pulsing. How my brother thought this was funny is beyond my comprehension.

I recall being at the beach one day and watching a family in front of us interact. The young teen was asked to get a drink for his father from the cooler. The boy went to retrieve the item. When he came back his father was enraged. The boy had brought a soda rather than a beer. The man swatted the boy on th back of the head almost sending him crashing to the ground. The man snarled like a dog at his son. I remember not understanding the words but the snarls came through loud and clear. The tone was strong and gruff. I remember glancing up at the man from my head down position. I was afraid to make eye contact with this man. I was young but he instilled fear with his voice.  In one quick motion the teen scrambled back to the cooler and grabbed a beer. He handed it to his father having to stretch his arm to be within reach. I couldn’t blame the young man because he didn’t want another hit on the head.

One day  as I walked to school in Boston, I was behind a young mother and her two young girls hardly more than four or five. The mother was in a hurry. Her sturdy fast paced steps, swinging arms, along with her grip on her handbag gave one the impression of someone on a mission. The kids were obviously having trouble keeping up. The woman kept urging them to walk faster and she increased her rate of speed. Her voice was loud and her words were curt.

Inevitably the youngest child slipped and fell on the concrete drawing blood to both knees. The mother was angry and started to scream at her youngest daughter. The crying child immediately clammed up while the older child stop attempting to help her sister to her feet. The three continued their walk with one change. The youngest child was limping and trailing behind. I had to make a turn and lost site of the three individuals. I won’t forget the intense look of the mother and her terse words spilling through her clenched teeth. No wonder the child just got to her feet and continued to move on.

I wonder at adults who are parents or work with kids. I hope they realize how much of an impact both good and bad, they have on  kids. The impressions  they leave are carved into the spirit in a good or detrimental way. Children are the helpless recipients of anger frustration, regret, and much more. They have no where to run and no escape. Living in fear for some kids is a normal state of affairs.

We put people in jail for simple infractions yet we allow serious harm to happen to kids before we  step in as a society. I will never understand this. At the sake of embarrassing parents, we should come  to the aid of families in need. Unless we find the root of problems there will be no remedy. If one requires an antibiotic but is only given cough medicine, the infection continues. Answers at most times are simple.

I know the voice has the power to crush, disintegrate, relieve, or bring comfort and love. The words are not as important as the tone, loudness tempo distinctness emphasis on words and expressions on the face of the person delivering the message. Perhaps we should think about the messages we are sending to our kids and to other people. Probably we never thought about the changes in our voices nor the facial changes and bodily changes expressed by our built up emotions.

After growing up with a multifaceted person I have learned how to  read most people. I get a sense of their mood. We all get angry but  allowing it to take over our minds is inexcusable. The next time we feel our fury rising,  we might think about the changes taking place in our own bodies. Take some deep breaths and count to one hundred if need be. It might help us to better control our own rage. It is  always within our power to change things. We simply need to be aware of how we affect others and the impact of our anger. Making happier and brighter days for our own families and those of others is crucial to everyone’s well-being.

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”    Mark Twain

“Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.”
Leo Buscaglia

“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you’re allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”    Shannon Alder

“Your perspective on life comes from the cage you were held captive in.”    Shannon Alder

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you are.”    Cherie Carter Scott

“Before you can live a part of you has to die. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point you will finally be free.”    Shannon L. Alder

Advice Gone Wild

Advice Gone Wild“Do you have agendas for your children that are more important than the children themselves? Lost in the shuffle of uniforms, practices, games, recitals, and performances can be the creative and joyful soul of your child. Watch and listen carefully. Do they have time to daydream? From their dreams will emerge the practices and activities that will make self-discipline as natural as breathing.”        William Martin

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” Henri Nouwen

“One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren’t enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.”    Viggo Mortensen

“I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.”    Henry Ford

There is so much going on around us constantly that we rarely have time to review what we are thinking saying or doing. There isn’t time anymore to worry about what we have concluded at any given moment. As a result we shoot off in various directions, buying items we likely don’t want or need and doing things not necessary.

I think we have become trapped in a bizarre notion of keeping up. Today we don’t fear so much our ability to have as much money as we doubt our ability to live up to perceptions of who we are and our abilities to accomplish great things. This understandably spills over into every asset of our lives. The result is a genuine misguided attitude of lack.

So many people who are actually well educated, have good jobs, nice families still have a gloom and doom sense of not making it in the world. They are forever striving to check out the next invention or newest idea on the market. One would think they  were giving out prizes for being the first to buy and use the latest project or food product.

I suppose that is why  there is so much discussion about healthy food, lifestyle exercise programs and benefits to  meditating. Of course I would agree that all of this is worthy and should be looked into. I just have a problem with the way it is being promoted and the negativity  surrounding those who are slower to jump on the wagon.

Everyone wants healthy food for themselves and their family. We all enjoy exercising and keeping the weight down. The trouble is we don’t all have the same kind of stamina after work or before work to put in the effort. Yes we can be called lazy or worse but likely the truth is we have different stresses  placed on our shoulders and therefore various amounts of anxiety that eats away at our will power.

I am not searching for excuses but I won’t blatantly admonish those who render themselves to the couch upon arriving home. Needless to say that might be the comfort they require at that moment. Somehow without a doubt we all understand the positives of healthy foods and exercise.  It is just that sometimes a change in one’s schedule takes time and yes  some effort which perhaps we can’t muster just yet. So many people insult others with their tone of voice. They make statements like, “if you read the statistics you would jump on board right away”. They are likely correct but the effort is lacking at the moment.

The weight of bowing  to these folks is as strong as the compulsion to buy candy when you are hungry. You want to do it but don’t have the stamina. I suppose the crux is the strain and pressure that gets in the way. Even when things are good for us we still need time to adjust our schedule and our time. The more something appears to be a must do, the more we shut down to it. There is already too much on our plates.

I also see a  similar happening with observing others houses, kids, games, free time, recreational activities and more. Someone may be content with their habits and lifestyle until they observe another. Suddenly they sense they are doing everything wrong, right down to the way they are diapering the baby. They believe they might be changing the baby too often or not frequently enough. They judge their kids games as above their heads or too  easy. The puzzles appear to need more pieces because their kids have outgrown them. They must hurry to buy new ones before the damage is done.

Some people sense their homes are too dirty, too clean, too cluttered too busy or too dull and unattractive for learning. Even moms and dads who devote many hours towards interactions with their kids believe they might not be doing it in the correct way. Perhaps they don’t speak to their kids enough, play games with them enough, bring them outside, or spend time building to enhance their kids math skills. If this sounds familiar then maybe it is time to slow down not rev up your wheels.

As one says one or two things never make or brake a situation. Missing one or two things is not going to make the difference in your child becoming a superstar or failing. I would be the first to say new inventions and ideas are well worth looking into but leisurely and with caution. Just because it is new does not mean it is the end all be all. If anyone recalls hearing the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” they will understand that not everything new is necessarily a good or even better thing. Jumping on all that is entering the market is not the way to go. Listening to what others tell you to follow must be taken with a grain of salt.

Our own lives are sometimes speeding along filled with as much fullness as anyone could muster. Has anyone thought of the fact that the more we attempt to fix things that perhaps are not even broken, the more frustrated we become and the more doubt and worry we place on ourselves. of course our clear thinking is then suffering because all we notice is what we are doing wrong.  We lose faith in some of our own improvised tactics.

Money can be a strain when one wants to buy the items deemed useful. Probably kids get as much adventure and pleasure and learning out of using sheets and towels to make a fort. If we allowed some creativeness to enter without controlling the toys perhaps we would find our child’s own personality venture forward.

I am not concerned with anyone who chooses to follow anything new nor am I against buying the best toys on the market if that is what you can afford. I am opposed to those people who condemn themselves when they can’t afford to do the changes physically, mentally or monetarily and then they fret over it. We are making bigger deals out of situations than we need to.

I remember during my teaching years, telling parents to remember that any inner talents their kids possess will come out in due time.  You cannot squelch inner qualities. Yes you can aid them but still you can’t stop them. At a future date in time they emerge. Parents would be best to lighten their own minds.

The internet allows for us to have too many opinions and way too many ideas. Let’s face the facts. It is too much to incorporate. Who is the judge stating that some new idea was better than a previous idea. We get confused because we have too much input and we are on overload. We visit someone and believe they are doing it better right down to the way they have arranged the playroom for better access to the toys. I for one have seen many kids scramble over all kinds of objects to get to toys.  That shows their initiative. Maybe we should stop  reading everyone else’s suggestions and trust our own. Allow our own kids to lead.

There isn’t a wrong or right way. There never was. It is based on popularity, newness and time saving. You can still keep things earthbound and find you have successful children. The first inventions were made by those kids who had nothing more than their imaginations to work with. Have faith in yourself and what you are doing. Have confidence in you and your kids and most definitely love your kids. That is what I would emphasize. Love is like magic. It works every time without fail. That is the key to success at anything.

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.”
― Francis Bacon

“Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.”    William Martin

“In the end only kindness matters.”    Jewel

Addicted To Technology

Addicted To Technology“The system of nature, of which man is a part, tends to be self-balancing, self-adjusting, self-cleansing. Not so with technology.”    E. F. Schumacher

“If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner.”    Omar N. Bradley

second addicted to technology“The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life.”    John F. Kennedy

None of us likes to be out of control nor have things out of control. Yet, our technology has totally gotten well beyond the limits. We all fight for power and freedom along with liberty, but perhaps media and technology has deprived us of all of this. I believe  it is  manipulating, and has lulled us into an addictive type of need and love.

I use the word love because most of us can’t spend a long time away from our “Stuff”. Anyone with the tiniest bit of techno savvy is seen holding something within their hands. Some people almost appear desperate as they cling to their I- phones, I-pads and whatever. Most people have already inculcated their kids into the habit. A child as young as two might be seen holding a device and pressing buttons.

Can we admit we have gone beyond our limit ? Some people are on computers or some other device right before they go to bed. If one spouse is in the bathroom, they pick their tool up from their nightstand. It can’t be far frm them in case they get a message of some kind. I wonder at the messages, that always seem to be so important, that they can’t let them wait for a better time. There is no privacy. People including bosses, and everyone else, can reach us at any time. Forget about discretion. We can’t escape the ever-ending messages coming through.

Whenever you are in the company of someone who is obsessed with their cell phone, or I pad, or I phone, you find their eyes drifting down to it and then their fingers get busy as they smile. They have totally forgotten  who they are physically with, and devote their attention to the device. You, the physically present person,  must wait for their return. Some people attempt to hide their focus on their device by softly drifting into another room. It amazes me that they think you don’t notice their movements, nor their lack of attention to the present moment with you.

It is so widespread now, that most of us who are not dependent,  just get used to waiting, for these habituated people, to finish whatever messages they are receiving. I know when I am in the presence of these users, I don’t even mention the interruption anymore. I just wait for the interference to end. I still find it annoying, but it is right up there with the waiting time at the  doctor’s office. You don’t like it, or enjoy it, but there are no alternatives so you accept it.

I love it when some people think, they are covering their dependent behavior. This appears to be even worse. One can believe themselves now, to be unimportant,  as well as stupid.  They believe they are fooling us. They keep it on their laps at a restaurant, and glance down now and again. Their smile, when they look down is one giveaway. Other people do a chore, while they peek at their device. They let out the dog, and stand outside, viewing and sending messages.

Some people believe falsely of course, that if they share the message with you, that somehow it makes it okay. You might also get the person who confesses they sent a message earlier, and were waiting for the reply they just received. You  have to praise the people who excuse themselves formally, to receive or send a text message. They get up, act important, express a serious look on their faces, and proceed to another room for privacy.

It seems like all of this might be a danger to them. Are they paying attention to their  world? They might trip and fall as I did when I attempted to dial a phone number while walking. I had seen it done so many times by others, but unfortunately I am not a good candidate, as I missed the end of the sidewalk and fell on the street. Only my ego got hurt.

I haven’t mentioned those people who  text while driving. I place this right up there with drinking and driving. They are focused on typing and reading. I hate to think about those drivers when I enter my car. I know of one accident in which a young girl blamed it on her shoes rather than admit she was sending a text. Her fine was less.

Media promotes Facebook, and other social communities. Now we can share the food we’re making for dinner, and the last time we showered. We have the ability to get one hundred people or more, to commiserate with us, when we are having a bad day. We display the beach area we are visiting, with no care for those who are out of a job or relationship. I know this might be a good thing for some people, but I need more than words on a page.

I need the intimacy of a face, exhibiting care and concern. I like the sound of voices, and seeing expressions change. I like to hear more words than a simple feel better, even if it is only one person, instead of one hundred. Somehow it reaches me more. Some people suffer depression,  from all of the wonderful places and things people expound about on Facebook. Your life can appear very dim in comparison. We really shouldn’t compare ourselves to anyone.

In actuality, it is an assessment of  who can gain more friends. This doesn’t appear to be a healthy media device, for a downtrodden individual. Now we might be jealous of many more people, rather than the close friend. Confidence and security become things of the past. Competition  reigns even for young girls, who are competing with their faces and bodies. What are we valuing in this world? Are we aware of inner qualities, or is that something we laugh at? Has our virtue and our morals gone AWOL?

The tumultuous disruptions, throughout the world, are now able to touch our children within our homes. People with questionable motives, can enter our once safe environment, and destroy our family. There are deceitful people who are bent on lying, and coercing our children. It is difficult to monitor this. These people don’t have to show a face, or it can be a false image. As I already mentioned, faces give emotions.

Another area technology is affecting us, is within the social area of  High School. There are students who arenow ridiculed, twenty four seven. Being a teen, they have faith in their ability to handle themselves. The  pain and crushing of their spirit, may eventually destroy them. Many are left with fear and or anxiety. Confidence is gone, and insecurity is instilled. I ponder about the perpetrators of such deeds. Because they are wounding with a tool type of device, likely they feel less blame. They are not involved in the full fledged pain inflicted, when one sees hears or experiences it.

I am not sure if the wrong doers are aware, that they are hurting real people. If you call somebody a name to their face, and see their reaction, it might well up feelings of sorrow for your action. When such is not the case upon using a machine, one is deprived of observing the actual pain inflicted. It  appears that technology use, releases one of blame, and societal constraints and or restrictions. It becomes a covert operation. It is similar to mob rule where no one is at fault, when people or property are injured. Hiding behind a machine, permits freelance slander, manipulation, influence and suffering.

Perhaps we are becoming desensitized, from sensing any remorse, due to our addiction to technology. We have less time for emotions, when we are busy with our fingers tapping devices. Our minds are focused on how well, and how much we can do with these devices. Little time is given to our altruistic nature. Our  minds overtake and rule the heart. Some people are proud of the greatest damage they can accomplish. Perhaps they are bullied in other areas of their lives, and find relief in bullying others on-line.

Our machines keep us too busy to reflect, on what we have done wrong. Instead of man creating machines that are more human like, we are transforming into  more of a machine like existence. This is not true of everyone, but it certainly requires our heartfelt thought.

Some homes are now quiet after dinner, because even the kids are using a device. Our language is even suffering. People use short words, to convey a message. I  find people using less words, and less sensory adjectives, when speaking with or using technology. We have too many notes to send out, and too many people to respond to. With so many friends, can we understand that we are not gaining a close relationship with anyone? Do we care anymore about depth, or quality of love within our lives?

I have noticed our conversations with our spouses, are shorter and curt. I have observed that we all use less of our sense of sight, sound, and sensory. Our hearts are being deprived of compassion, empathy and love. Some things just have to be felt through the heart first. Technology is awesome, but will man misuse it as his reputation proves. What starts off as a good thing, may devour mankind of being humane.

Do we need a law about restricting the use of our devices? Man wants dominance. Now is the time to gain it by turning our technology off when in the presence of physical people. We have the self-control, to restrain their influence and use. As smart and capable as our devices are, they can be monitored, and they do have on and off switches. Let’s  not willingly turn our command over, to a mindless and heartless device’s ability, to overtake our influence and in the process, our humanity.

 “Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.”    Max Frisch

“Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation.”    Jean Arp

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”    Albert Einstein

“The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.”    Sydney J. Harris