Casualties Of Divorce

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“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”  Theodore Hesburgh

“Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his duty calmly, even if they roll a few stones upon it.”  Albert  Schweitzer

Sometimes it is difficult to be compatible with another person. Actually, it is almost impossible to relate to another person all of the time. This perhaps is why people should reflect before making the decision to get married. They should doubly contemplate before having a child. Parents need to quadruple their thinking time before considering a divorce. Obviously physical abuse demands action, reflection, and serious change if the couple plans to stay together. When a woman and or her children are in danger, there is the compulsion for quick action. One must leave this unnerving situation for safety.

Outside help is a requirement and if the erring party refuses to transform their lives or
doesn’t amend their actions, immediate proceedings in the form of a divorce are inevitable. A woman can’t place herself in danger and certainly must not place her children in jeopardy. The scars left on the hearts of children are unbearable. The scar on their psyche is intolerable. Prompt proceedings are required.It seems most people’s divorces are due to cheating, money, and jealousy. These situations, although dreadful, might be predisposed to reconciliation. Effort, modifications, and time are necessary. Divorce might create more problems than it solves. Without a doubt, it always

appears to generate more troubles for the children involved The distressing part when parents contemplate a divorce is their belief that it is totally between the two of them. There could be nothing further from the truth. Children are more deeply entangled in the divorce than either of their parents. They are the ones who nevertheless love both parents and want to see and be with both parents. Children are the individuals who get harmed the most.

Sometimes a divorce is necessary, but in most cases it happens due to the parents’ lack of endeavor to try harder to grind out alternatives. It also ensues when one does not put more effort into the relationship. Today a divorce is easier, not frowned upon, and gives one the sense of a new beginning with new opportunities. Of course the children might become collateral damage in the divorce. In the past, people professed to stay together for the children. Many people viewed this as a mistake. Today, we don’t even think children should be considered in such a profound decision. We have gone from one extreme to another. Nobody even considers viewing a divorce as a mistake. Our needs become so much more important than our children’s requirements. The philosophy operates, “If I’m not happy my children can’t be happy.”  I think it might be better to ask ourselves if our life has meaning. Having children adds endless meaning  to your life.

Fighting, anger, and divorce are ripping our children’s hearts out of their little bodies. We are only fooling ourselves when we can’t see the honesty that some of the blame lies with us as the parents. Divorce is one major outside force which has far-reaching consequences. It cannot be underestimated in the damages it causes to children. The effects are so extensive that they might carry throughout a person’s lifetime, influencing various areas of one’s life. I would emphasize the rethinking of such a course. A moment of anger and revenge can result in a lifetime of tragedy. It behooves all to put their best effort into alternative remedies.

Divorce is, in my opinion, a number one reason for mental stress and anguish for children. It is in my judgment a contributor of poverty for children. It is also, in my belief, a stress contributor and a life sentence for many children caught in such a situation. If one is left with no alternatives and a divorce is imminent I would suggest parents form a truce for the sake of their children and negotiate a fair situation for the benefit of the family.

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.”      Maya Angelou

“If we abandon marriage, we abandon the family.”  Michael Enzi


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