My Turn For A Time-Out

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“Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self-worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has.” Elizabeth O’Connor

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood but of respect and joy in each other’s life.” Richard Bach

A person relishes compliments about their child or themselves. This helps to create bonds of friendship and goodwill with strangers your friends and family. The end result likely is an ally and a pal you can confide in.

Compliments stimulate greater achievement. They also place negativity into the background where it belongs. Seeing a gas tank half full instead of half empty encourages one to continue forward rather than stopping or worse backing up. We feel better when we hang out with certain people. They make us happy because they are happy. we look forward to a sharing time with them. They are non-threatening people. When we investigate their magic we find it is their lack of competitiveness. Competition leads  to jealousy and envy. We can be ourselves with these people. Question is why can’t we be ourselves with all people.It is nerve -wracking to play the various roles throughout our day. We must show an in charge type of attitude at work. Most coworkers defer to us  and go along with our decisions. they are not aware of the stomach turmoil when we are not sure about a decision. If we make mistakes we will be talked about behind our backs. It worries us but the set facial expression and body demeanor tells others we are to be respected if not feared.

At home with the kids, we must be nurturing caring and a good listener even though we might be looking for these things ourselves. We half listen to the banter because our  thoughts are on the e-mails that must be sent out before morning. When our child questions us about what they just said we angrily state we were listening even though we know in our hearts that we weren’t. Of course it is followed by guilt.

Our spouses receive little attention because we have too much on our minds. The phone rings, it is a friend and we put on the pleasant carefree attitude. After all we are known for our good  humor and personality. We help with their issues and hang up the phone feeling drained and angry. Everyone else can have a time out but not us. We feel like screaming loudly, when is it my turn for the time-out. When do I get a break? do I have to schedule my time for the break-down or temper tantrum?

If we thought long and hard about the negative energy it took us to calm down we would skip it I’m sure. The alternative is to let it eat away at our stamina and nerves and contribute to health problems. At times we create our own dilemma. When we get up in the morning, do we see the same person as the day before? We haven’t changed just because we had a bad day at work yesterday. We are a capable person.  We are a good parent even if we weren’t tuned  into our child’s words the night before. We  had a headache and a deadline to meet. We can make it up to them and it goes first on our priority list of things to do. We plan to pick up our spouse’s favorite dinner. It will be a nice break for the both of us.

We are special unique and one of a kind. We have qualities no one else has. We do things to help others in ways we are not aware. We really need to attempt to be ourselves  with more of the people who touch our lives. We can’t always be the strong one, the one others lean on. we can’t always be right or have all the answers. Patience, understanding and empathy are difficult to muster when one is tired and feeling defeated at the moment. We set ourselves up as empowered perfect people who display no feeling towards ourselves. Time to uncover the human side of us which needs to eat, sleep take a break and maybe enjoy a time-out that is not always scheduled.

It is okay  to make mistakes and exhibit imperfections. it allows others to relax and even take over some of our burdens when we are overwhelmed. It is not an insult to need others or depend on them. It makes others feel less burdened because we show human qualities of imperfections. Life is a long journey. It is impossible to complete on our own. Mistakes teach us. Cooperation aids our learning. Maybe there is a better way or easier way for us to accomplish certain things. By trusting others We can receive the flame of light warmth and love when our fire goes out.

Why make life more difficult by causing more strife. One compliment can carry a person further like a feather dropped from a high building on a windy day. Enjoy the compliments others give to you and don’t be stingy with your own compliments. Showing us the areas we are being successful with permits us to appreciate our own worth and to work on the areas that need tending. Likewise when we give compliments and encouragement to our kids we promote in them, healthy bonds of love and respect as well as  confidence to never give up.

 “In marriage, with children at work, in any association-an ounce of praise of sinceere appreciation of some act or attribute can very often do more than a ton of fault-finding. If we look for it we can usually find in even the most unlikely unlikable and incapable person something to commend and encourage. Doubtless it is a human frailty but most of us in the glow of feeling we have pleased want to do more to please and knowing we have done well want to do better.” Anonymous


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