The Fear Of Being Alone

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“The core problem is not that we are too passionate about bad things, but that we are not passionate enough about good things.”  Larry Crabb

“Life is not just a few years to spend on self-indulgence and career advancement. It is a privilege, a responsibility a stewardship to be lived according to a much higher calling, God’s calling. This alone gives true meaning to life.”  Elizabeth Dole

Most likely we all fear being alone. As much as we seek alone time, the thought of spending most of our time by ourselves is not appealing. We like to have time to leisurely bathe, watch our own TV shows, talk on the phone as  long as we please, catch up with a good book, finish a project we started eons ago, hang out and nap as we please. The list is different for each of us but professes our own wishes,

What is not on most lists is the desire to be alone to ponder and review thoughts about ourselves, our lives and the benefit or detriment of the choices we made. If we were told at work to review our lives we might panic. Questions like what are they  talking about, and what do they mean, and I’m not rehashing what I have already done with my life penetrate our minds.Honestly that is scary. Nobody wants to be alone with themselves to go over our  actions of recent times. One must wonder why it makes us nervous. The wonder at our uneasiness has to fascinate us just a little bit. It seems easier to think about and worry over jobs we are trying to complete and people we want to connect with. It leaves no time to think over our lives. We are simply too busy.

Most of us will flick on the radio or TV while we dress, shower and text. Can’t let any original thoughts come to mind. Clutter is the solution. Fill our brain with tedious tasks to work on so our brain won’t think or worry about the real me. We don’t have the energy to give to such a daunting issue. When we have  no worries left, we decide that  is the time we will give reflections about life love kids and the value of our lives. In the meantime there is much to be done. Of course this leisure mind time never occurs.

Age has nothing to do with our mission of preoccupation. It is probably why we don’t have an answer when someone asks us how we feel about anything. Actually we pride ourselves that we just don’t let feelings get in the way. we can be rational and make decisive assessments without emotional barriers invading  our evaluations. We praise ourselves on rationality which we equate with honesty.

A whole piece of self is being clouded over. Our society is becoming  experts at eliminating emotions from every situation. In order to be  politically correct, or to abide by rules we do not allow any feeling to mix in with judgments. It makes no difference if someone is guilty. If the law states evidence was acquired unlawfully, we adhere to the law and forget about any truth. Likewise if someone is convicted yet no real evidence is present we sentence and throw away the key. No one ponders or considers what’s actually  transpiring.

We mindlessly allow kids to be subjected to poor treatment until we have concrete proof they are in a bad situation. It is easier to admit we have resources available to “help” no matter that they don’t work or that these aids don’t  have enough help to accomplish a daunting task. We  absolve ourselves and believe it is out of our hands or that we already have able bodies on the team working on it. I guess it helps us sleep at night. It allows us a clear conscience. We are saved from thinking too deeply about anything. 

We are almost like lost sheep waiting to be told how to think and where to go. If we don’t start spending time reviewing what is right or wrong and what is important  and what doesn’t count, I  fear we will lose our sense of self. Cameras take snapshots of happenings that are giving us a flat picture or video of what transpired. Is it always the truth? I’m not sure but I don’t think so. There is always more to a story. The background and truth from all involved is at times dismissed. People sue complain and basically whoever presents the best showing wins the astonished and outraged crowds viewing.

Our ability to give thought and explanations to things is becoming a lost art. Everyone jumps on a band wagon and foregoes reason and veracity. Happenings are swift so what is popular  today will be obsolete in a few hours. Who has time to reflect when so much is transpiring around us. So now the ability to disseminate what is important has departed. Have we forgotten people?

It is actually more of an honor to be the one who  “discovers” the “wrongdoing” while the genuine issues are given little attention because  they are not so glittery and eye catching.  Watching a video of a child crying in a corner is boring. If we checked out the story we may find a neglected stressed out kid whose  parents need to learn better ways to nurture him or her.

I hope we get out of our fog, wake up and stop jumping on “sides” because our friends or families are taking that stance. Maybe  it is cool to pick according to the glamour. I say it is cool to choose according to our own reflection of what is correct morally which may not be politically in favor. If we don’t stand up for truth then we’ll all live with the fairy tale lies in a fairy tale world. We can’t fear being alone with our thoughts, because it is where we will find the truth. Time to get off of the hamster wheel and look at the world we are creating.

“There are times when silence has the loudest voice.” Leroy Brownlow

“We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless.The poverty of being unwanted, unloved  and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.”    Mother Teresa


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