Gain Respect With Love Not Fear

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“Respect is for those who deserve it not for those who demand it.” Unknown”

Respect people’s feelings even if it doesn’t mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them.” Unknown

“Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.” Albert Camus

Most people with any kind of authority, gain their respect from fear, not from love. If we think  about this for a moment, we srecognoze the truth in those words. I think those in power use fear, because they don’t know how to do it with mutual caring. They do not trust, they will like their underlings tomorrow. They just can’t get too close, and then discover, they have to dismiss someone. It appears more reasonable, to simply use fear to keep everyone in line.

Regardless of your job, the boss usually spreads fear when he is around. I really find this so sad and not at all helpful to gaining a better work force. It is like having kids do things out of fear, rather than out of love. When we care about others, we work harder and longer for them if it helps them, and makes them happy. If we are working out of fear, we quit at the  designated time, and turn our backs readily and easily. There is no love lost. I would prefer the worker who chose to be a partner in the job, rather than the subjugated person, who is anxious to get away.The same is true with marriages. If their is mutual respect, then each party registers a vote on major issues, and even smaller ones. By discussing the pros and cons, they come to a decision. Neither of the parties is staying in the marriage, out of necessity, or fear of being on their own. Each chooses to be involved, and each has confidence in themselves. I think we lose some confidence as workers, or spouses, when we are nervous about treading on the boss’ or spouse’s ideas or wants. It places one in a precarious position. i love it when a boss asks for an opinion, when he has  already voiced his or hers. I would venture to say, that few people would support an opposing position.

Maybe it supports the boss’ feelings, that he or she is being fair and honest. It alleviates their conscience when they  believe they have the representation of their workers. They are not fooling those hired,  who would prefer not to be involved at all, in the decision making. They question the safety of their job, should they make a mistake, and say or do something that would hurt their position. The boss would do them a favor, if he or she simply left them alone, and trusted them to do their jobs. As much as we would like to offer opinions, unless identities are carefully maintained, transparency is out of the question.

The  boss who wants true connections, makes the effort to know his colleagues, and be aware of their problems at work. By offering some help, or aid, the boss is extending his genuine concern. When those in charge are just out to find fault, to rid the place of some workers, then they permeate the atmosphere with dread. If they can’t support in a positive, non threatening manner, they might as well ignore those who work for them.

i don’t understand why more people in power, have not comprehended why some people will go to great lengths to help some bosses,  while gossiping about others. They can’t see the discrepancies. One perhaps is kind honest, respectful and concerned with his people. The other is just making money and hardly knows, never mind understands, those beneath him or her. I think a person must take some time and effort, to get to know others in the general atmosphere. Not everyone is willing to give the time and effort it takes, especially if they deem these people as less than worthy.

The same holds true in other facets of life. A teacher needs to respect the child’s parents. If she offers various times to meet with them, and a variety of avenues,  then the ball is in the parents court. The parents should respect the teacher, who also has a life, home and family. Each should have respect and concern regarding the others needs and wants. By compromising and being on the same page, a compromise, that is beneficial to the child, can be attained.

The parent child relationship is no different. Parents sometimes believe, that because they are the parent, they have the right to act, speak and behave in any manner they choose. Yes, they can do that, but not without repercussions. If we choose to ignore and hurt, by our words and actions, our kids will suffer a lack of parental control. Disciplining with love, provides unconditional love. the child will always have faith in their parents’ love.

Children begin trusting their parents at a very young age. This faith continues as  long as their is no fear and lots of respect and love. When kids are older, they  will trust their parents with the big stuff, because they were able to trust them with the small stuff. The faith has been built up. The esteem comes, when kids trust their  parents, will always respond in a fair way. Parents respond with love, openness and fairness. Kids know that nothing they  can do will change their parents love. That is the most awesome feeling in the world. So if you want to have great communication with your children, start when they are young, and exhibit love and respect for them, and you will  receive it in return.

 Treat people the way you  want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. respect is earned not given.” Unknown

“A meaningful life is not being rich, being popular, being highly educated, or being perfect…It is about being real, being humble,  being strong and being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others…It is only then that we could have a full, happy and contented life.”  Mar Razalan

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