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“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to  give up, or fight like hell.”  Lance Armstrong

“For me growth begins immediately after I am able to admit my mistakes and forgive myself.”  Kimberly  Kirberger

How much confusion we all create in our own lives through our thoughts, fears and jealousies. We sometimes  imagine things that are not really there, or understand what is said or done in a way it was never meant to be interpreted. This causes pain and frustration in any relationship. Our anger takes over our reason and we make a situation worse than it originally was. Minds tend to wander and negatively impact spoken words and actions.Harsh words render the spirit crushed and mangled. Tempers flair as well as egos. We cut our spouse or sibling or in-law down to size and walk away triumphantly. Later we regret what we said and did. This scenario is played again day after day with various other people. It leaves us tense unsure and sometimes very confused about the path to follow. Changing our attitudes and cutting another person some slack as well as refraining from nasty retorts the next time might just alter a relationship.

“The degree of one’s emotion varies inversely with one’s knowledge of the facts. The less one knows the hotter you get.” Anonymous

All of us have our good days and bad. We have moments of insight and inspiration as well as times of defeat and roadblocks. What we can’t do is displace our anger onto another person, on our down days. Don’t let others cause you to become enraged. You always have the choice to depart or change the subject. We have our own power of free will and can alter the course of a losing situation.

To imply that we were weak for the moment and gave in to temptations can be our excuse to continue poor behavior with questionable choices. We always have a choice. We may  want a candy without having the money. We may desire another who is already attached. We definitely can pick the morally higher road or the degrading self-satisfaction for the moment. Blaming others doesn’t work. We grabbed with the body’s desire for instant gratification rather than the minds knowledge of what is right or wrong.

The ability to accept the accountability for our actions even when our actions are known only to ourselves is incredibly good. It probably is the first step in healing as well as improving ourselves and any bad habits. Most of the time we do not want to admit any blame. Others made us do something or led us into undesirable acts. Wow! Do we really believe that? Some people even justify wrongdoings if the ends justify the means. It is easier to give in to our desires and wants, just as it is simpler to pass a toddler a cookie to keep them from crying.

If we want to improve, stop regret, diminish blame, and accept liability for our actions. Our acknowledgement comes closer to home rather than out there in somebody else’s world. We created the issue and are accepting the fault and atonement if necessary. It is not about guilt and remorse which happens later. It is about truth, honesty and change. If we want conversion then we must offer forgiveness. Without forgiveness there will be no transformation. The alterations come with understanding and then sorrow for the harm we may have caused rather than any anger directed at ourselves.

It is about evolving into a better version of ourselves. We cannot be afraid to look at truth. By facing it we become empowered to do better, instead of writhing in anguish, pain and regret. That is not going to improve us or make life better. It only depletes energy and the spirit to improve. In the end the learning is what counts. Advancing ourselves to that marker in life raises our humanity. If we believe we can not do better then we deflect any attempts. To have faith in ourselves that we can advance will prove correct. 

We don’t walk in another ‘s shoes and can’t comprehend what they feel or think. They also can’t comprehend what we feel or think. Our experiences are varied as are our defeats and accomplishments. We can’t judge another with our ruler of measurement any more than they can measure us with their ruler. Reflect deeply about what you say before you say it. At what cost will your disparaging remarks deplete the goodness in your heart? As we are confronted with new situations we are aware of one sure thing, we always have the choice.

 “In marriage, with children, at work, in any association-an ounce of praise of sincere appreciation of some act or attribute, can very often do more than a tom of fault finding. If we look for it, we can usually find in even the most unlikely unlikable and incapable person, something to commend and encourage. Doubtless it is a human frailty. But most of us, in the glow of feeling we have pleased. want to do more to please and knowing we have done well want to do better.” Anonymous

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