Defuse Pressure

“You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserves your love and affection.”  Buddha

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”  Buddha

Every day, when you wake up, think about all the wonderful things you should be thankful for. I am as guilty as anyone for finding issues that annoy me. I lose my patience too many times due to silly little things. After reflecting on this I realized I have so much happiness in my life. It occurred to me that it was time to dwell on the good things in my life and erase the bad thoughts. In the scheme of things, most of the irritating issues are minor.

I know  when I dwell on the negative, my muscles tense and in the latter part of the day, I am in muscle pain. This is most likely from holding in, all of my tensed up feelings of anger and fear. I am angry that I have to put up with annoying people and situations. I am fearful because I feel guilty for being mean or rude. I assume that is why my muscles get even  tighter, when they are in total conflict with each other. It’s like not knowing up from down. I spend a lot of wasted time worrying about dealing with certain individuals throughout the day, that I really do not want to contend with at all. I am anxious until it is over with. Many times the meeting is not as terrible as I was expecting. My anxiety  was in vain.I never dwell on my wasted energy regarding my fears. I just go about the next concern of my day. At times I am not even sure why I find certain people so irritating. I can’t avoid them all, so I am learning how to tolerate what I cannot change. When my day is over I pat myself on the back, for having  gotten through it, one piece at a time. I then take my aspirin and muscle relaxers and review my projects for the next day before I go to sleep. Seriously though,  the better I do at controlling my fury, the more relaxed I become.

The next day is a repeat of the previous day and this continues until I am so overwhelmed with work and duties to the family, that I crash. I find myself recuperating on the couch, or in  my bed. That is when some real soul searching takes place. I comprehend the foolishness of my actions. I drive myself to the brink of illness, because I unconsciously don’t want to face the real issues. I am so pressured by demands, that I almost encourage my anger at other people, so I can let go of some steam. Many innocent people are most likely  at my mercy.

People are major. If I alienate people I create added stress and anxiety to my life. The next day I regret any harsh words I spoke. Of course I can’t explain why I spoke them. We all have such situations. Irritations build up as well as obligations. Our minds have trouble keeping everything straight. When some random or not so random person places the last straw on our backs we explode. This can be a mild explosion, but if it creates disharmony, it is sad and regretful.

Most of us want to get along, but find it difficult when we are burdened with all of the pressures of life. We may at times believe we are carrying most of the load, at home, and or at work. We might also feel we are keeping friendships alive. We work hard for our families with little return. All I can say is that there really is return in the knowledge that you have been doing a successful job, by nurturing and caring for the family. The only thing left to do, is to show your stress the door.

I recall being at the other end of similar episodes. Other people appear annoyed at me, for no reason. They seem stressed and moving by auto pilot. I recognize the mode of conduct, and attempt to steer clear of them for awhile. I question my own behavior, as I watch in dismay and pity. I firmly decided to change my outlook. I set high goals of course, knowing I couldn’t  reach them all. But I will try again and again, and one day I will reach my goals. In the meantime I am making tremendous progress. I found that recognizing the problem was most of the battle.

I think  we all have the opinion at times, that we are too far to the right or left, too young or too old, to change. In a way this alleviates us  from even attempting alternatives to our  poor behavior. I am of the opinion that as long as one is attempting a forward movement, in the correct direction, they are to be applauded. The smallest step is better than standing still. A person who cuts down on drinking is making progress. Unless he or she believes this, they will give up. The truth is they truly are making progress, whenever it is forward movement. They must be cheered as one would cheer a winner, because they are making progress towards their goals.

We start in pre-school, and end up passing high school, and maybe college. We wonder at how we got there. It’s the same with life. When we work hard at something, in the end the finished product makes us smile. The important thing is to know, what is important, and quit judging the items that don’t really matter. Relax and get along. Life is easier, more comforting, and filled with more people who care and support you. As they say live, love laugh and I say forgive and definitely forget the stress, but never forget your blessings.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” Oliver Goldsmith

“A jug fills drop by drop.”  Buddha

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