Ignore Cruel Criticism

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“Little of the great cruelty shown by men can really be attributed to cruel instinct. Most of it comes from thoughtlessness or inherited habit.”     Albert Schweitzer

Cruelty like any other vice requires no motives outside of itself; It only requires opportunity.”      George Eliot

I find some people are too quick to critique others, yet they are the first to complain if anyone analyzes them. It is more hurtful than they will ever know, especially when they influence other people who have no idea what the truth actually is. It amazes me that we take a quick snapshot of a situation, and then profess to have the gospel. If that isn’t bad enough, we proceed  to share our truth about an occurrence with others.

Some things are private and better left unspoken. Those who choose to voice uncalled for opinions, are treading in a danger zone. I feel sorry for them because at a certain point in time, they may have to experience the same problem themselves, to comprehend the whole picture. That is sad when we cannot have empathy for other’s, without walking in their shoes.Unfortunately some of us must walk in the shoes, in order to fully grasp the whole scene. It is so easy to make quick  assumptions. After all we believe  we deal with so much more than the  next person. Suffice it to say that many hide their feelings, problems and hurts. I wonder if people do this because they want to stay under the radar. There are so many people, who will jump in swiftly with  their critical remarks.

It is tough enough to deal with issues that are draining and difficult, without also putting up with disapproving glances and quick retorts. I’m sure we have all gone through those times, when it appears that nobody understands our dilemma. It is at those moments that we need sympathy, and it is difficult to find. Most of us ignore the judgments because we have more trying circumstances to handle.

I must admit the resentment rises when one recalls the far reaching negative denunciation about us, spread around town. It is like trying to catch the feathers you dumped out of a bag on a windy day, from a tall building. It is impossible. It leaves me with the notion of confronting such individuals to ask why. There is no pleasure in the degradation of another.

There is nothing good that comes out of insults and blame. Even if we believe our assessment of a situation is correct, we still may be completely wrong. Our analysis is tainted by what we want to find and choose to see. Maybe we are jealous of this person and want to drag them down a bit. Maybe we are disappointed with ourselves and want to drag another into our mire.

The truth is that we are making a tension filled situation worse. We are defeating another and ruining their reputation. We are also discouraging others from supporting these individuals. They perhaps need and deserve support. There is no good in quick censures that destroy reputations. If we don’t walk in their shoes we should attend to our own business. Truly I find more people devastated with such mixed up calculations.

My advice to those who are the recipients of this rude and uncalled for treatment, is to thoroughly ignore the back lashing tales and back stabbing remarks. You can’t stop someone who enjoys doing this. You can only move on yourself, because in the end, I have total belief that the truth unfolds and leaves cake on their face. Even if it doesn’t, we know the truth in our own hearts and that is all that matters. Getting through difficulties makes us stronger. It also makes us more tolerant when we see something and want to judge. We recall  that it might not be quite the way it appears, so we hopefully refrain from judgement. At least we might give someone the benefit of the doubt  until further notice.

To be misunderstood or blamed for things we are not guilty of is painful. We don’t walk in the criticizers shoes. Maybe they have a need to renew themselves, through attacks on others. At some point in time, I do hope they learn to think before they speak. Otherwise they may speak  words they will regret, at the expense of the suffering of others.

Gossip is rampant and it steadfastly keeps going around. It makes everyone unhappy. Instead of finding all the faults in another we should search for the goodness. We can always find faults but we can also always find good. If you find and profess another’s goodness, you are encouraging it  to  grow. That seems like a better alternative than encouraging negativity. For those who look for the negative in others, they might attempt to help the negative person become more positive. Spend  your energy on that goal  rather than on denouncing someone.

“There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships, and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a sword that kills.” Buddha

“While on a walk one day I  was  surprised to see a man hoeing his garden, while sitting in his chair. “What  laziness!”  I thought. But suddenly I saw, leaning against his chair, a pair of crutches. The man was at work despite his handicap. The lesson I learned about snap judgments that day  has stayed with me for years now: The crosses people bear are seldom in plain sight.”    Author Unknown


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