I continue my investigation of the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship. I began years ago producing my recent mother-in-law book along the way. I still have continued my research. It was amazing to find the issues are the same for every generation. One item that keeps cropping up is communication and interpretation.
We all have a dilemma with communication and misinterpretation. We miscommunicate to others and or misinterpret what others say to us. mother-in-laws. (MILs) and daughter-in-laws (DILs) do this to each other. With some people we easily work it out but with in-laws we get nervous and shy away. MIL’s must step back and realize the playing field has changed. To continue the relationship with their son and his family, she must not interfere with advice. What she thinks is helpful hints may be interpreted by her DIL as interference.The DIL’s must understand that for many years MIL was her son’s consultant and he trusts her. MIL needs time to accept the changes and DIL should refrain from any judgments for a short while with patience. DIL is privy to the families problems but without the long history of love intertwined. Time gives the DIL more confidence and the MIL more patience and self-control. Shutting each other out immediately will deprive both women of a multitude of love and support in the years to come. The women have so much more in common than they realize.
My reflection for Mothers-in-law is, to accept the life changes and remember your son will always love you but he needs space to live his own life. He loves his wife.
My DIL reflection, Appreciate she is his mother and he will always love her. You will be number one but she will always have a place in his heart.
“Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier. Only those who respect the personality of others can be of real use to them.” Albert Schweitzer
“Envy is a littleness of the soul, which cannot see beyond a certain point, and if it does not occupy the whole space feels itself excluded.” Wm. Hazlitt