Language Destroys

“The tongue like a sharp knife… Kills without drawing blood.”     Buddha

“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”    Mark Twain

It is assumed that any kind of speech is acceptable in any kind of situation. Many people are forced to be the recipients of such language. At times, innocent children, not even having a quarter of their growth completed, are subjected to the foulest of language and are at the mercy of people they love. Language can be used to profess love and kindness and support and sympathy. It may also be used to foster negativity as well a dehumanization of one’s life and soul.Words cannot be taken back on a brighter day. They can’t be reformulated or recalculated. Words that cut into the heart of a child are forever scripted on their hearts. Whenever we are angry we need to think and reconsider what we would like to say before we say it. Improper language serves to demean a child more than parents are possibly aware. Proper care of our children includes sparingly using disparaging remarks.

Students are constantly given office referrals for foul language. Some manage to use obscene language on a regular basis. The question becomes, who should be getting the detention? Children imitate us completely. The way we treat our spouses or our children is the way we will witness our children’s treatment of other human beings. A constant onslaught of vulgar language used regularly on our children will provide them with a candid vocabulary that has the ability to incapacitate others. Somehow it doesn’t seem plausible that we want to bequeath such an abomination to our children.

Children are great imitators. They will repeat our every action and word. It behooves us to pay attention to our own manners. We can’t ask our children to do as we say but not as we do. We need to be attuned to our own deeds.

We certainly can’t pretend surprise when we receive a phone call from school pertaining to our child’s profane mouth. We need to take steps to clean up our own jargon and make it more of a goal to speak in more civil ways.

Some of our concerns should be kept quiet and not be spoken in front of our children. Parents appear to speak in front of or with their children about adult problems or topics. Any teacher might share days when she or he became unwittingly privy to private conversations spoken between two adults. Most teachers instruct the child to keep it confidential.

Adult subjects need to be kept between adults. Just because we are upset or angry or unhappy does not give us permission to discuss matters that are of little or no concern to the children. Reflect on what this does to the child. Deliberate about the worries we place needlessly on our child’s psyche. Loud conversations might be transferred to another room, out of earshot of the children. Our child has the right  to be a child. We do not want our agonizing situations to cause our children to fret or fixate on these issues.

Treating our children roughly applies to speech. Children receive a mixed message. One second we’re expressing love for them but the next second our speech is hurtful and harsh. The vocabulary we choose to use on our children will stay with them, and they in turn will use it for their own use. If profane talk is the constant dialect used at home, it should come as no shock that the child is expressing it at school.

“Abuse is abuse; Be nice..harsh words don’t break bones but they often break hearts.”    Rev Run

“Children seldom misquote you. In fact they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.”    Unknown

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