Rid Yourself Of Parental Guilt

guilty parenting“Not he who has much is rich but he who gives much.” Erich Fromm

“It’s not the things you get but the  hearts you touch that will determine your success in life.” Mac Anderson

I can’t believe how many parents worry about whether or not they  are doing a good job. They pour so much anxiety upon themselves that they find it difficult to observe how many things they are doing correctly. Listening to what other parents do is almost detrimental. You hear about three to five group involvements their kids have. discussions about art classes, soccer teams, music lessons and the latest and greatest toys. Many buy the newest toys but just as many receive them from friends and family.

It is still not enough. We worry that we missed something and most likely we have  if we compare what our kids are doing to what others are experiencing. Stopping the comparison shopping  is the key. After spending time with a group of mothers who are discussing all the wonderful activities their kids are involved with makes us rethink our schedules. We begin planning our next move.So many parents have no faith in themselves or their parenting skills. They want their kids to have everything as any parent would and to experience it all. I would agree it sounds like the ideal but not completely. Most of us are doing just fine but we can’t accept it. The grass is always greener wherever we look. Maybe our kid will get the soccer scholarship if we simply get them more involved or give them private lessons. the minds begin to twirl as we regard the money and time it will cost us.

As more seasoned parents realize it doesn’t work that way and in the end what kids want more than anything else is our TIME and unconditional LOVE. We probably feel that it is too simple to be the answer. The amazing thing is that it is that simple. Kids will climb a hill roll in  the grass and do all kinds of silly things with their parents that require only our time. Of course we only agree because we love our kids.

Explaining to kids in a simplistic way, your  financial situation supports their comprehension of needs and wants. It isn’t about jealousies but understanding. We must not dwell on what we can or cannot provide in material worth. Focus on the numerous items you can give with the cost being your own time and energy. The close bonds you create are worth more than any outside teacher of anything. Love is always the dominant  playing card.

Don’t doubt yourself or your power. It is never about the big house or massive yard or numerous activities we sign our kids up for. It is about spending time and talking to our kids. It is about sharing our thoughts and having conversations about the world  they see around them. It’s about reading books and discussing far away places, sharing opinions answering questions diminishing fears acknowledging insecurity and recognizing moods and feelings. We can share our various hurts and difficulties as well as our triumphs. We become  more real to the kids and we allow them to fail. Making mistakes is part of learning and growing. By offering ourselves we give them pride and knowledge for never giving up and struggling through even when things get difficult. Growth and positive advancement is possible.  Without parental backing, a child doubts their onward movement. With parental support they have belief and hope that all things are possible. We give them  faith in the future.

“”The best and most beautiful things in life cannot be seen,not touched but are felt in the heart.” Helen Keller

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