“Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us.” A. J. Cronin
“You may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated. In fact it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are , what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” Maya Angelou
I have recently been the recipient of 3 young peoples’ cries for help. It seems to be an epidemic. Young people get so lost in their unhappiness and powerlessness that they spiral downward quickly. Maybe it is time for all of us to recognize the needs and implores of others. Sometimes through helping another, we can also help ourselves. So many feel trapped in an existence that they cannot control or change. Of course this isn’t always the case but if one believes it to be true then for all intensive purposes it is. We need to break the spiral by recognizing the triggers sooner and intervening.Life is almost impossible to take. At times many of us think it is too difficult. That is when we should ask for help. We need a listening ear, a comforting embrace outside intervention or a new frame of mind. It doesn’t need to be life threatening but for those, who view the world narrowly, it might be. They can’t see beyond the mountains they can’t climb. One day they might fly over these mountains but for the moment they or we are trapped.
As adults we need to take cries for help from young people seriously. A young person laments not having a girlfriend or boyfriend. It may to us appear to be meaningless. To them it is heartbreaking and diminishing. They feel like they are a loser and they turn to outside things to make the pain disappear if only for a short while.
Sometimes parents think in time they’ll get over it and so little attention is paid to this situation. I am not blaming parents by any means and many times even with total intervention the situation gets worse. But for those situations that might get better with immediate attention, I suggest a focusing in on a child or teens problem. They may not whine or complain but they will appear unhappy and withdrawn. Pay attention.
Waiting is not an answer. Step in right away. Don’t worry about appearing foolish. Better to be foolish and mistaken than lax and have a major problem. One needs to put other issues aside and deal with what is at hand. Partial or small attention to the matter will not get it resolved. Your full focus must be given. Place its’ importance high. Talk talk talk with your child, and spend time with them. Don’t assume they are okay when they tell you to deal with your own business. Continue to remain resolute. Keep your attention on them resolute.
Find groups or sports or community activities for them to be a part of depending on their likes. Join something together if you can. Work on a project together and discuss other options in their lives. Do a clean up of the town, volunteer or coach a younger group of kids with them, encourage them to join a fire department explorer group or get them a job. The point is they need to feel wanted, appreciated and substantiated. They need to feel worthwhile. We all need to feel this. They are in crises at the moment so it is more important for their needs to come first even before our pleasures or downtime.
Search, ask questions, never say I’ve tried everything because you haven’t and the stakes are too high to stop or let go. Diverting attention to a worthier cause or effort will redefine who they are. It might take a long time in the struggle and an abundance of effort on our part, but we will possibly have the results we strive for. If any person close to us, be it child or adult, is in an inner conflict, it becomes necessary for us to get involved in any manner that we can to remedy the situation. If it is ourselves that has the problem, recognize it and seek help immediately. Like clouds on a rainy day, it will pass in time and the sun will shine again.
We all have times when life appears to offer us confusion. If it overwhelms us then we find ourselves in a fog of confusion. It is difficult to find the right path even when we are searching. Our minds get clouded and our judgement is poor. At those times leave the big decisions for another day and consult with those you trust. If you are the recipient of the trust, consider yourself chosen to have such a powerful role in aiding another human being in their search to find peace security wholeness and most importantly their place in this big confusing harsh world.
“Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” Frederick Wilcox
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” Calvin Coolidge