“A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.” Margaret Atwood
Are we tossing kids out with the garbage after the divorce? I recently had my 3rd book published “TUMBLEWEED KIDS” and have been teaching for many years. Being a teacher for many years put me on the front lines in observing the mistreatment of children. The over 40 true heart wrenching stories tell the kids side of the story. The stories tug at the heart while providing examples of the effect parents have on their children. During a conference the parents told me they did not know why their son was not focused.I thought to myself maybe it is because each of you recently had a baby with another person. “Tumbleweed Kids” is helpful to parents and anyone working with children. It is not as instructive as it is an explanation told on a deeper emotional level, the burdens we unconsciously place on children. We need to love our children unconditionally and aid our children into becoming aware of this unconditional love.
I add the kid’s side to divorce. kids often hide their honest feelings from their parents. Kids don’t want to lose their parents so they accept whatever terms the parents offer. The parents move on but the kids remain in the original family quilt. They lose grandma and papa and aunts and uncles and cousins. If we cut most of the roots of a plant it would not survive or it would most likely deform in some way. Likewise we cannot cut a child’s ancestry roots and expect them to flourish.
Time for us to stop being politically correct for the parents sake and stand up for the kids who don’t have a vote. Parents need to spend more time improving their parenting skills. If more effort is applied to the home and family, divorce will go down and should for the kids’ sake. One couple asked why their son wasn’t focused and I wanted to say because each of you just had a baby with another person. We can stop the TUMBLEWEED KIDS and their changing homes and circumstances if we admit the problem and the source. This isn’t a criticism of anyone. It is a call to action, reflection and a review of our home environments. Dare to question and change if needed.
“In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.” Robert Anderson
‘The most important question in the world is why is the child crying.” Alice Walker