“An easy life is rarely meaningful and a meaningful life rarely easy.” Oliver North
“The art of living, lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” Havelock Ellis
“The real world reveals itself like surprise gifts on our doorstep, special moments that seem above and beyond the reality of others. These times are full, beautiful and meaningful beyond words, even when wrapped in pain.” Christopher Hawke
Sometimes we lose our way. I suppose it has to do with striving towards goals, that probably aren’t right for us. I also wonder if we just need the stamina, to stick to the fight a bit longer. Whatever the problem, I know there are times in the lives of most or all people, that are so muddled, that we can hardly find our way out. I find air, only when I think about the good things in my life.
I have wondered why our lives appear to be so complicated at moments. Is it due to our own interactions, that make a situation more mixed up than it needs to be? The truth is, it doesn’t matter what the issues are, it seems to have more to do with our own attitudes, which build up the barriers. I also wonder, if it has to do with our own expectations. Maybe we are trying to control our lives a bit too much. Perhaps we expect more from ourselves, than we can deliver. Maybe others depend on us too much.
I’d like to book a personal tantrum day for myself. Honestly, have you ever gotten tired of being the dependable person? I remember as a child, being the one people expected to do the correct thing. Of course it gives you many friends, but also a share of enemies. One can never please everyone, or anyone. all of the time. You’re number one today, but dirt tonight. Dirt is good for plants. I recall some family members adoring me, others disliking me and still others wishing to put me “In my place.” I was called “Goody Two Shoes”, a name I learned to hate. As a kid, really all I wanted to do was what I was told. I learned at an early age, that it doesn’t work. Thinking for myself became my solution as an adult. Wearing a suit of armor was incorporated, and deafening my ears when needed. All of this allowed me an escape route from fear and worry.
It is difficult to focus, when life gets confusing. Your attention is beckoned to so many different situations, that none of them get the attention they deserve. In the end result, you accomplish nothing. Life is anything but calm. The restlessness takes over along with uncertainty. Life is never clear, and attempting to focus on life in general, is disorienting. One wonders how it happened. Yesterday the picture was crystal clear, and today it is perhaps mystifying.
I know for me, it is as if I am alone, afloat in the middle of the ocean, attempting to spot land. How I got there, and why I am pursuing such a course, is beyond my understanding. For sure it settles the mind down for reflection. The body is forced to become a subdued prisoner of the mind. If the thoughts are not dealt with, the body can’t continue functioning. The mind can overwork the body, and confuse the brain, with a myriad of ideas. Reflection about the core points in our lives, becomes essential.
Maybe reflection is a good thing. Contemplating sometimes generates clear thought. The responses are not always the ones we assumed, but perhaps they make sense. It probably is necessary to target how the road blocks happen, so that we might avoid them in the future. We may also consider why they appear, and how we might stop them or at least lessen them.
Many times these obstacles have necessitated a reviewing of my actions, and intentions. Embracing the whole picture, probably ensures that I reflect on the truth of a problem, and find a better solution than the current one. I hate to restart. I look at my sewing mistakes as humble stitches, as did the pioneers of the past. I refuse to take out mounds of stitches. Admittedly we do need to redo certain things. If we get it correct, all is well at least for the time being.
I make an analogy to wars. Each war we fight is concluded with the commitment to end wars. Unfortunately, we go along for many years and find ourselves in a similar situation, and begin another war. That is how I believe my body is working. I travel forward without consideration most of the time, until I crash and am forced to face reality. Perhaps it isn’t what I want to look at, but likely it is what I should observe. Without reasoning, there is no heartfelt living.
It is clear to me, that some of the calamities might have been avoided, if I had taken the time to consider, what I was doing, saying, and how I was behaving. It doesn’t make one proud of themselves, but having been down the road of persecuting self, I refrain from going that route. I will settle myself down, and look at the facts, as well as my own misguided notions, and then I will undoubtedly change my course. It is not to my liking but inescapable. Each time I am forced to alter my course, I am confronted with paying more attention to my selections. The transformations are undoubtedly a benefit, and never the hassle, I assumed they would be.
Each of us is faced with those challenges, big and small, every day. What may appear simplistic to others, can be traumatic to us personally. It doesn’t concern me, what others think, only what I think and feel. Our feelings for people and things is different. Our treasures are varied. Supporting each other is imperative, to navigate through obstacles and snags. So many people have inner and outer restrictions, that never appear to go away. Those are the people that are required to be strong, in the face of adversity and pain. It can be with situations or health. Those people are to be admired as heroes.
The chaos and turmoil in our lives has to be faced and settled, if we want to make any kind of progress. It is easy to say but placing it in God’s hands, relieves us of some tension. Some obstacles are too big to fathom. We can’t wade through mud without help. Faith and hope are paramount, to attaining relief. The answers are not always the ones we request, or expect, and I must admit I like my own choices as much as anyone else. Learning to cope with life, takes time, effort, forgiveness when we falter and steadfast tenacity in searching for truth.
I know at times, our hoped for answers, are far into the future. Extreme patience is necessary. I think profound happiness is also attained in due time. We don’t always appreciate why we missed the plane, lost the car keys, misplaced the job application, broke up with the boyfriend or girlfriend, and overslept on the day of the interview. We believe it is the worst thing in the world that ever happened to us. Of course we never find out about the hijacked plane, car crash, company shut down in the near future, horrible boss and job situation which likely cause us health issues. Perhaps there is a safer day, a more suitable job, and a better soul mate.
When the future arrives, and everything falls into place, we forget about how awful we felt, during our previous tribulations. All our attention is on what we gained, not what we were spared from enduring. Faith and trust is so difficult a pill to swallow. I guess the best thing is to reflect now and again on our lives, be thankful for the good, and tolerant of the troubles as much as we can. Understanding our life, and purpose, is actually as important as living our life. People sometimes go through life mindlessly living. Better to comprehend life and live it with purpose and meaning.
“What mattered was still there. That was what they all felt, and what surprised them all. What mattered couldn’t be shaken.” Jodi Lynn Anderson
“The will to dream, the courage to act and the hope to win are the stuffs that make life meaningful! Create the life you wish to live and live it fully!” Israelmore Ayivor
“When we work creatively and productively with others, our experience of meaning can be profound. When we work directly for the good of others, meaning deepens in ways that reward us beyond measure. Whenever we go beyond satisfying our own personal needs, we enter the realm of what Frankl called “ultimate meaning.” some call it connection to a higher self, to God, to our own spirit, to universal consciousness, to love, to the collective good. No matter what it’s called, it is deep meaning and it transforms our lives.” Alex Pattakos, Prisoners of Our Thoughts: Viktor Frankl’s Principles for Discovering Meaning in Life and Work