Monthly Archives: January 2015

Indifference

Indifference 1“Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.”    Haile Selassie

“Because of indifference, one dies before one actually dies.”    Elie Wiesel

“Despair is a narcotic. It lulls the mind into indifference.”    Charlie Chaplin

Has anyone noticed how much time we spend pleasing others? It is almost like a job. If there is a difficult person at work,  everyone treads lightly around them. I remember one person who had to verify certain work, before one could turn it in. Many times I would approach them and zone in on their  mood, which could greatly affect their attitude, and analysis towards your work. If they were pleasant, I turned over the papers, but if not,  I waited for another day.

What gives some people the right to walk all over others, and behave in such a childish way. Given a little authority, they become a force to be reckoned with. Of course there are the family members who are either constantly negative, in which case we overlook them, or they attempt to change their attitudes, which never works. Our friends are the same. There are times when certain friends call, and we will refuse to answer.  We cannot face their mood at that point. We simply wait for another day.

We all do it. When certain people are around us, we might refrain from certain jokes, or manner of speech. We may be quick to criticize some, but tread softly when offering advice to others. At times it feels as if there are those who get free passes to misbehave all they want, while the rest of us are forced to dance to their tune.

Of course the alternative is a battle, which we don’t want. It entrusts us with either accepting the situation, or complaining, which renders us in their category. We lose the battle, because they have had more practice with their frequent  disputes with others. I just  believe we spend a lot of time contemplating, how we will act,  what we will say, and how we will dress when we are considering an interaction with these people. Continue reading

Bullying Ends When Adults Stop Bullying

Bullying Ends When Adults Stop Bullying“Bullying consists of the least competent most aggressive employee projecting their incompetence on to the least aggressive most competent employee and winning.”    Tim Field

“Who’s stronger? – The person who goes through bad experiences and can still see the good in life despite of it or the person who can’t control their impulses and imposes them on others?”    Anonymous

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”    Winston Churchill

“A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It’s having backbone.” Robert Kiyosaki

I am  not surprised, when adults and the media go on and on about futile attempts at stopping the increase of bullying. Everyone is jumping on the wagon, trying to come up with ways of ending it. Clever people are involved, and meetings with intelligent people are held. The simple truth is, that it is easy to stop the bullying. All we need to do is stop it within ourselves, the adult population.

It must be human nature to always want to blame outside influences, and to fix other people or things. The reality is the  amount of forcefulness we use within our own environments, influences our entire lives, as well as the lives of our kids. This might hit home, but if we are honestly working for answers, we should dare to inspect all angles. Bullying can even involve tickling which was actually a form of torture. Kids may be laughing due to an uncontrolled response like a knee jerking from a tap. They lose their breath and try to stop laughing, but some parents continue tickling. If we as adults can’t stop ourselves from tickling the child, then we desire the  power and control.

When angry or upset we roughly grab a baby or  child. Our tone is harsher when we have reached our limit in patience. Our voice is louder. The harsh loud voice is intimidating to  a young child. The intensity of a grab of the arm tells the child who is mightier. Our screams, or yelling in their faces, or even close in proximity, tells a child be quiet, or else. The parent likely does not have to resort to anything further, because believe it or not, their control has already been enforced. Continue reading

Advice Gone Wild

Advice Gone Wild“Do you have agendas for your children that are more important than the children themselves? Lost in the shuffle of uniforms, practices, games, recitals, and performances can be the creative and joyful soul of your child. Watch and listen carefully. Do they have time to daydream? From their dreams will emerge the practices and activities that will make self-discipline as natural as breathing.”        William Martin

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” Henri Nouwen

“One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren’t enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.”    Viggo Mortensen

“I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.”    Henry Ford

There is so much going on around us constantly that we rarely have time to review what we are thinking saying or doing. There isn’t time anymore to worry about what we have concluded at any given moment. As a result we shoot off in various directions, buying items we likely don’t want or need and doing things not necessary.

I think we have become trapped in a bizarre notion of keeping up. Today we don’t fear so much our ability to have as much money as we doubt our ability to live up to perceptions of who we are and our abilities to accomplish great things. This understandably spills over into every asset of our lives. The result is a genuine misguided attitude of lack.

So many people who are actually well-educated, have good jobs, nice families still have a gloom and doom sense of not making it in the world. They are forever striving to check out the next invention or newest idea on the market. One would think they  were giving out prizes for being the first to buy and use the latest project or food product.

I suppose that is why  there is so much discussion about healthy food, lifestyle exercise programs and benefits to  meditating. Of course I would agree that all of this is worthy and should be looked into. I just have a problem with the way it is being promoted and the negativity  surrounding those who are slower to jump on the wagon. Continue reading

Superficiality

Superficiality“I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.”    Douglas Pagels

“People in this world of superficial communication find themselves isolated and lonely and have difficulty in talking about personal things that really matter to them.”    Theodore Zeldin

Perhaps, there are many of us losing our way, and confused about our purpose and meaning in life. This is almost becoming a trend. Of course we all might feel like that from time to time, but when it becomes a habit, perhaps we should discover some truths behind the scenes of  our lives.

I believe it is extremely difficult to maintain positive attitudes. Problems and stresses mount while answers are not forthcoming. We want to be good do good and behave in acceptable ways, but then we fall down into tantrums like a child. Life gets too complicated to figure out, and we want to run away from our responsibilities. You can’t blame someone from desiring to set themselves free. Unlocking the chains of duty and commitment, brings a sense of freedom.

Of  course the sense of release is short-lived because our duties and indebtedness to others, remains strong. If we could just take a quick vacation from our accountability, maybe we would be happy to return to them again and keep up our original promises. That is never an option for the most part, but mentally we might sit ourselves down, and ruminate options for improving our situations.

There are times in everyone’s life, when we feel overwhelmed. There appears to be no relief in sight, and discouragement, anger and frustration creeps in. Young couples with babies or young children, cope with the drudgery of work for low pay. They work for their needy kids, who appear to relentlessly want and need attention. Bills never appear to be caught up, and a prevailing tiredness won’t diminish. Relief is non-existent, and burdens keep pressing us down. The longer the situation continues the deeper into despair we get enmeshed. Continue reading

Unavoidable Changes

We aUnavoidable Changesll hate changes in our lives yet we cause so many unnecessary ones. It makes no sense how we frequently sabotage our lives. Perhaps we don’t think things through clearly enough before we jump on the new and mess things up. Changes are always difficult even when they are happy ones. They involve a new way of doing things or experiencing something. They  may involve swapping  our living quarters

“TherUnavoidable Changes 2e were people who went to sleep last night, poor and rich and white and black,  but they will never wake again. And those dead folks would give anything at all  for just five minutes of this weather or ten minutes of plowing. So you watch yourself about complaining. What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” Maya Angelou

“We are all butterflies. Earth is our chrysalis.”    LeeAnn Taylor

“Essentially, humans are alive for the purpose of journey, a kind of three-act structure. They are born and spend several years discovering themselves and the world, then plod through a long middle in which they are compelled to search for a mate and reproduce and also create stability out of natural instability and then they find themselves at an ending tha seems to be designed for reflection. At the end, their bodies are slower, they are not as easily distracted, they do less work, and they think and feel about a life lived rather than look forward to a life getting started. He didn’t know what the point of the journey was, but he did believe we were designed to search for and find something. And he wondered out loud if the point wasn’t the search but the transformation the search creates. …[I wondered] that we were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us. The point of a story is the character arc, the change.”    Donald Miller

We all hate changes in our lives yet we cause so many unnecessary ones. It makes no sense how we frequently sabotage our lives. Perhaps we don’t think things through clearly enough before we jump on the new and mess things up. Changes are always difficult even when they are happy ones. They involve a new way of doing things or experiencing something. They  may involve swapping  our living quarters.

Doubts are usually a part of the alterations. After starting the modifications into motion, we begin to review and question our actions. Of course at this point the ball has been started and we can’t stop it so easily. If we quit our job, probably we can ‘t easily get it back with a change of heart. Making decisions without thinking over the results, may leave us with regrets. Most people might live their entire lives in this fashion.

I recall a movie in which the young woman lived her life and the film abruptly worked through her life but before it completed the audience is brought to an earlier version where we see that she is about to be killed by a sniper. We observe her softly falling to the ground as her eyes witness her life as she envisioned it would be. Thus the view of her life is how she saw it. It was like watching playing cards snap through in seconds.

The notion struck me that as long or as short as our life is, it is still fleetingly short. Our lives are probably more similar to this woman’s lived view of her life than dissimilar. Perhaps we all have manifestations of how our lives will evolve. As living sends us some curves in the road we alter our plans and make choices without reflecting causing us more heartache, confusion and pain. Continue reading

Forbearance

Tolerance“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” Oliver Goldsmith
“We seldom confide in those who are better than ourselves.” Albert Camus
“Each time something difficult and challenging has happened to me it has marked the beginning of a new era in my life.” Kimberly Kirberger

“I AM IGNORANT of absolute truth. But I am humble before my ignorance and therein lies my honor and my reward.”    Khalil Gibran

Tolerance can be a bitter pill to swallow. It can be demanding of us at the most inopportune times. It calls to us when we are tired, weary, dejected and sad. Many times it is difficult to adhere to its’ calling. Sometimes it is hard to find in our world, home or heart. It brings our attention to things we might prefer to ignore. On the other side it rushes in a breath of spring air when we live up to its’ expectations.

Interference causes conflict between people. Most of us do not like unsolicited advice. Most of us only request suggestions from those who are quick to agree with us. When we say we are searching for another view, we are perhaps really scanning for confirmation of our own opinions. The person giving assistance is most likely considered the superior figure. There are likely few people we trust, to be in such a position of power. Conceivably, following somebody’s recommendations, is the equivalent of granting them control over us and our decisions.

We must learn how to gracefully impart our knowledge and leadership, and then bow out of the situation. That way, the person needing the guidance saves face. We sometimes sense a feeling of foolishness, when we don’t have all of the answers. On the contrary, accepting guidance never made anyone a fool, yet we should always trust our own judgment in the final analysis.

Perceptibly, if we are secure, then listening to someone’s counsel should not make us feel incompetent. We can feel threatened to some degree, if we consistently require instructions from others. There are times we choose not to ask for help, so if it is offered we quickly refuse. Even if the advice is excellent, it may be unwanted. Continue reading

Blocked Intentions

Blocked“It may be said without qualification that every man is as holy and as full of the Spirit as he wants to be. He may not be as full as he wishes he were, but he is most certainly as full as he wants to be.”    A.W. Tozer

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”    Epictetus

“Satan wants us to constantly focus on everything that is wrong with us and look at how far we still have to go. But God desires for us to rejoice in how far we have already come.”    Joyce Meyer

I can’t speak for others but I know I frequently develop awesome ideas and worthy plans only to have them tossed by the wayside like moldy bread. I don’t have the time to think about the loss of a good thing because I continue doing what I need to do and perhaps encounter another brilliant notion that likely will end up in the same place as the other ideas.

It occurred to me how many times my good intention was just a dream that was never realized. I consider why some designs don’t become a reality. I recall how many people I promised to call, have a lunch date, or visit for a short while just to say hello. It would mean so much to me if I could pull these things off yet I rarely do. I am caught up in my well intentioned plans that never go anywhere.

After admonishing myself and promising to do better, I review my workload and need to do list for the day and by the end of the day my want to do list hasn’t been considered. I shrug my shoulders in total understanding that there just wasn’t time. Now my goal is to find the time to attend to the things I believe are important. My anticipations or the desires of those I love always take a back seat to what I have to accomplish. The biggest dilemma is that I increase my to do list daily so I am sabotaging my want to do list.

As much as I prefer to discuss and relax with friends, it rarely happens. It likely is years before I run into a friend from the past and attempt to achieve a  meeting proposal in the future. This again repeats itself and our meeting never happens. Has society as a whole somehow sabotaged  our agendas? Workers are laid off and the ones remaining who still have a job are so thankful yet their load has increased. I wonder who the fortunate ones are in these cases and conclude no one.

We kid ourselves with our many gadgets, that we are getting more time. We end up with more time to do more jobs either within the household or at work. Some younger members believe they are working towards gaining more power or influence at work. They have faith it is only for the short term that they will keep to the grindstone. The older workers are aware of the hypnotic ability of jobs to keep everyone involved. We all admit  we do it for the money or power of moving up the line. We also agree we will stop the madness when the time is right and we have enough. That day never comes.

The  time and effort is tremendous and our stamina is astounding but our burdens increase and downtime is non-existent. Perhaps some of this is what we bring on ourselves. We want a bigger house. With more room we can actually buy more things to fill it up so that we can yearn for an even larger abode. By  living in the future, we lose our present. We practically lose ourselves. I always want to blame the jobs but truly, we must ask ourselves when we are content with what we own.

I see it that the more we desire, the more we lose our own time and happiness. If friends and family bring us pleasure and we don’t have time for them then we have lost some good things. I suppose everything has a price. Some people climb a ladder to success by working non-stop, stepping on others or cheating or lying. We all see that happening daily in the news reports. I don’t want to gain money or fame at the expense of losing the love and happy times with others. IBy choosing to ignore what is essential in my life, In a sense I am cheating myself. I am lying to myself if I believe I will quit my ambitious climb with the time stolen from those I love.

Have a work ethic is commendable. WE are only defeated when we are blinded to the  vital things. We all make choices. We all pay the price as everything has a condition. If we are willing to pay any amount I suppose the sky is the limit. We perhaps must be sure of what it is we want because we might  be lulled into areas and quantities that have a limited capacity for love and offer a passing joy. I know it is important to review our need to list often, no matter what our age.

We hurt ourselves when we don’t give ourselves the pleasure of relaxing and placing our brains on speed control. Maintaining a constant bustle of ideas and compiling a  stressful burden of jobs only increases anxiety and steals our peace. Society has unquestionably pushed us into this spiral of constant movement. We do have the power to stop and view the truth. As we stand on the brink of the vortex, and observe others caught in the  downward spiral, we can question where we are going.  Searching for a bit of serenity, may gain us some insight into another world full of calmness,  that was waiting to be found.

“The irony is that while God doesn’t need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don’t really want Him most of the time.”    Francis Chan

“I wish people could accomplish everything they want so they could learn its not everything they need.”    Orrin Woodward

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”    Henry David Thoreau

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”    Henry David Thoreau

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”    Henry David Thoreau