Monthly Archives: March 2015

Perils Of Judgement

Perils Of Judgment“Love is the absence of judgement.”    Dalai Lama XIV

“Sometimes we think that to develop an open heart, to be truly loving and compassionate, means that we need to be passive, to allow others to abuse us, to smile and let anyone do what they want with us. Yet this is not what is meant by compassion.Quite the contrary. Compassion is not at all weak. It is the strength that arises out of seeing the true nature of suffering in the world.”     Sharon Salzberg

Everyday I find myself irritated with so many people, that  I wonder if they are living in a fog. Of course if I think long enough about it, I realize I am a bit impatient with these people. It doesn’t make their annoyances any more acceptable, but I manage to hold my criticism in for the most part. I never consider myself impatient. My tolerance level  has always been commendable, but there lies the secret. I do endure the trivial complaining of others but deep down I resent the issues people complain about. I guess I am a secret judge.

The revelation of my estimations, took me by surprise  one day. Outwardly I keep most of my opinions to myself. I may join a discussion but I attempt to remain neutral for the sake of keeping peace and also to keep from hurting someone’s feelings. There are times when the disagreements turn into a confrontation, but being set in my ways keeps me strong in my viewpoints. This allows me to stand firm in my sentiments.

One day I began noticing people behaving in a similar fashion towards me. They appeared to quickly change the subject, didn’t look me in the face when talking, and cut me off mid sentence. When I spoke about a subject I was more than interested in, they stopped listening before I was finished, and never asked  questions. I quickly came to the realization that we all  irritate others in all kinds of ways, and are not privy to this knowledge, most of the time. The more I investigated my theory, the more confirmation I had that I was correct in my sentiments. Continue reading

Going Back

Going Back“The things two people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it’s not because they forget; it’s because they forgive.”    Demi Moore

It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an ever stronger person to forgive.”    Unknown

“Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.”    Unknown

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”    Gandhi

How many times have we heard the phrase, “You can’t go back.” That is the saddest group of words to hear because many times we need and want to return to a person place or thing. It is like something that suddenly springs out at us like gotcha and you’re finished. The sadness can be overwhelming. Most of us think back  to choices we made and actions we committed. Contemplating a more innocent time in our lives will always bring longing.

As we grow, most of us learn from the mistakes we made. Of course we can’t admonish ourselves too much because we can’t always recall every second of our reasoning at that time in our lives. I am not giving any of us excuses but life is not about counting the wrongs as much as it is about acquiring knowledge. There are such tough lessons, that perhaps we might have absorbed sooner, but actually we must be content that we made the finding at all.

Life sends us forward full speed ahead. We plan to accomplish so much. We strive to keep up with others if not totally surpass them. We are out to conquer the world, make our mark and show others what we are capable of. We yearn for respect, love, attainment and contentment. The funny thing is that most of this can be found at any age and within any area of society as well as any socioeconomic group. That is the discovery that sometimes takes years to ascertain. Continue reading

Bitterness Is Best Sweetened

Bitterness“Intense, unexpected suffering passes more quickly than suffering that is apparently bearable; the latter goes on for years and, without our noticing, eats away at our souls, until, one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us for the rest of our lives.”    Paulo Coelho

“There is only one way of victory over the bitterness and rage that comes naturally to us–To will that God will bring peace.”    Amy Carmichael

“People grow bitter and cynical about life because they can’t bend it to their will.”    Marty Rubin

Do we wake up one day full of resentment towards others, or even the world? Perhaps the unpleasantness of everyday living  builds up and overflows. There are just those times when the anger spills over and drowns us in acidity. Our relationships may appear toxic and unhealthy. Our attitudes become affected and we offer sharper retorts to others. The thickness of an environment full of toxicity creates inner unpleasantness. It is especially overpowering when we allow jealousy envy pride and anger to wash over reason and understanding. What appears so is not always truth.

I suppose at this moment we should be thinking about removing ourselves from such an environment, immediately. The  problems are that sometimes we can’t escape our trials and tribulations and other times we can’t perceive that we have so many. Once caught in these situations we begin drowning a little each day. Many times pride keeps us from complaining and also from seeking the help we need.

Bitterness is a tough pill to swallow. The acid is like reflux and just keeps returning. How important it is for us to recognize the danger signs as well as the tools needed to necessitate changes. How many times I have witnessed other people, appear to be so consumed with cynicism, that  the first question that always comes to mind is where did it begin? None of us plan on making room for sullenness. I think at some moment we begin to notice the avoidance of other people. We might also encounter those who refrain from any kind of argument or dispute with us. They plainly observe our unpleasant manner and they refuse to get involved with us. Continue reading

Living Knocks You Down;Faith Picks You Up

Life Knocks You Down;Faith“If you want to fly on the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.”   Amit Ray

“Only God can take our failures and turn them into victories.” Evinda Lepins

“If you are driven by fear, anger or pride nature will force you to compete. If you are guided by courage, awareness, tranquility and peace nature will serve you.”  Amit Ray

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres! ~Lucian Bane~”

How easily our lives are changed, and how swiftly we fall down. We begin to feel like summer grass, or fall leaves caught in a turbulent wind. I’m sure there isn’t one person who hasn’t experienced some form of a devastation within their lives, in one way or another. Many people love to joke and say we don’t get out of this world alive. I would add to this,  we don’t get out of life without scars. Some scars heal while others develop infections and tend to drag on with the healing process.

When we are younger we tend to have faith in our own ability to create our own worlds. Although in many ways we do tend to form our own realities by the choices we make,, in other ways we are puppets to the hurts and obstacles life places in our paths. I don’t care for problems any more than anyone else. I must admit, when the struggles befall us, they change us in ways that make us rethink and perhaps differentiate our actions. Out thoughts appear dissimilar prior to the incident. What causes us to evolve? How about those who fight the transformations. Continue reading

Doubts

Doubt“Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win,  by fearing to attempt.” William Shakespeare

“Every mental act is composed of doubt and belief, but it is belief that is the positive, it is belief that sustains thought and holds the world together.”    Soren Kierkegaard

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”    Suzy Kassem

Likely there are many times  throughout our day when we doubt another person. It is not like we are skeptics, but for one reason or another we perhaps believe others are out to hurt us, get us,  or put us down. No matter where we venture, we have reasons to doubt a person, or a stores perception of the truth. If there is a huge sale, we think it is because they are attempting to get rid of old merchandise. If a friend suddenly calls us to join them on an outing, we assume they couldn’t get their favorite friends to go with them. When we are the recipient of an act of kindness , we wait for the person to ask us for a favor. We just have faith that people  are always  looking for something.

How sad is that? Even worse is the fact that so many of us think this way. Of course we don’t admit it to others because that would be rude. So  we pretend we were overjoyed when another does something kind for us and we give thanks. We go home and wonder about what it is they will want from us in the future. Perhaps we are skeptics. I don’t like being a skeptic. I would rather have faith in the generosity of other people, to do something nice, without any notions of expecting the favor returned.

Teens who want to earn some extra cash so that they can buy a certain item, may receive a few job offers  from mom or dad. Their first reaction is that mom or dad are attempting to pawn the lousy, dirty jobs  off on them. Nothing might be further from the truth, but reason is nowhere to be found. The worker who brings a cup of coffee to a boss or a co-worker appears to be searching for a way up the ladder, or wants help with his workload. How about friends who offer to help us with a project, and then turn around and ask for our help with a bigger project. Continue reading

Payback

Payback“A man that studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.”    Francis Bacon

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”    Rumi

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.”    Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A small boy looked at a star and began to weep. The star said, ‘Boy, why are you weeping?’ And the boy said, ‘You are so far away I will never be able to touch you.’ And the star answered, ‘Boy, if I were not already in your heart, you would not be able to see me.”    John Magliola

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”    Rumi

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.”    Buddha

Likely our first thoughts after someone hurts us, are the manner in which we can get even with this person. In one way or another we conceive of ideas, to commit actions or words, that will emphasize our retaliation. Probably our hearts are racing, and we fill up with anger. At times it might be difficult to contain our attitudes, which affect everyone in our vicinity. The  fault we conceive, lies with  the person who hurt us.

The degree of our fury, is usually equivalent to the amount of injury to our feelings, and the extent of the closeness of the relationship. We are quicker to give some leeway to those we love the most. The less important people in our lives, are the focus of payback. Somehow, sadly to say, we gain our composure, by reflecting on how we will execute our revenge. It offers us some power and control, although at a cost we haven’t considered.

Retribution is seen in all areas of our world. Countries as well as people have long memories. The disintegration of any relationship, or the treading on the territory of another, triggers response systems that possibly get out of control. The desire to even the score remains strong. It becomes an itch that can’t be scratched. Perhaps at no other time are we as fixated. There is no room for discussions of any kind. Our minds are shut off from suggestions. We understand what we have to do, and we want to do it. The other person or people must comprehend what they did, and that comes with experiencing the same kind of affliction. That is the premise of our argument. Continue reading

Unpretentious Life

Unpretentious Life“To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter… to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird’s nest or a wildflower in spring — these are some of the rewards of the simple life.”    John Burroughs

“A simple life is not seeing how little we can get by with—that’s poverty—but how efficiently we can put first things first. . . . When you’re clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it’s clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar.”    Victoria Moran

“Simplicity is complex. It’s never simple to keep things simple. Simple solutions require the most advanced thinking.”    Richie Norton

All the  huge egos, including our own, are due to our attempts to find an unadorned life. That appears to sound contradictory, but actually the boastful people are just as unsure of themselves as the rest of us. They are hiding behind a different rock. Human nature  bestows similar wants and needs. For the most part the needs are the same. Perhaps the wants differ somewhat but the desire for a happy simple life is attractive to most of us.

Perhaps we begin our adult life yearning for the usual attractions of house, car and family. Our thoughts are likely at the seedling form, at this point in time. So how is it we complicate our lives with distractions? It is easy.  In many harmless ideas, we buy more items, create more fixtures, add more attractions and activities. One day, we  wake up to a more complicated life.

The strange thing is we begin blaming the spouse or children for our unbalanced  and burdensome life. We question how it developed into such a harried life. There are so many distractions, that plant seeds in our brains. They grow like weeds and eventually get out  of control. On any given day we travel from one thought to another and can barely keep up with the demands of our concepts.

Almost at the point of overload, we begin attending to the ideas and bringing them to fruition. The variety of notions is exciting. Now our lives take on a new dimension.  We no longer need to consider just what  the kids or spouse is doing, but what the plans are for bigger nd better. In a sense we are traveling down an exciting road, but one that leads no where. Our focus is on entertainment, even if we don’t recognize it, in the present moment.

The bigger yard demands more attention, or more money to have it looked after. Every item calls for more money, which places demands on us. We can’t leave the job we have, which pays a good salary, for one that we’d like to work at, which offers a lower pay. We settle because the desires are overwhelming and settled within our minds. They exhibit attractive  pictures of what we already have, or items we might have at a future time. They overtake our senses.

Have you noticed that many times our conversations with others reflect on buying new things, visiting new places, finding new restaurants, and enjoying new adventures? The conversations sometimes serve to plant the seeds of new inspirations. Our reflections are not focusing on the spouse or family. We are inspired to see our exciting new plans grow into a reality.

So many of us complain about not having enough time to do the things we want. We feel drained and caught between juggling the  children’s activities and our own. Perhaps we have simply complicated our lives with nonsense. Maybe if we pulled up some of the weeds, our lives would appear more trouble-free. Perhaps we don’t have to replace everything with something bigger or more efficient. Just because a car can speed to 250 miles does not mean we are ever going to go that fast.

Is it the bragging we desire, or the attention? Perhaps we all have so many weeds that we are comparing our gardens to see who has a worthier conception. It is extremely difficult to find our  way out of the mess. It is also hard to prioritize our lives. We need the jobs to pay for the bills, and huge amount of peripheral items. We have less time for the things that matter most. We are so busy with our complicated lives that most of us are on auto-pilot. Continue reading