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high and lows"All the elements for your happiness are already here. There’s no need to run, strive. At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it."    Thich Nhat Hahn

"By listening with calm and understanding, we can ease the suffering of another person. Obstacles can be a form of liberation. Difficulties are required for success." Thich Nhat Hahn

All of us have so many fears but perhaps the biggest one is the fear of failure. It kind of groups all the other fears together. Whether it is our spouse, parent, child boss friend or enemy we hate to drop the ball and be considered a loser. The trouble is we can't really define just what a loser is or what it means. We have bad vibes about failing and never consider that there might be a bright side to failing.

What do our parents expect of us? Maybe they think we will forever be indebted to them and strive to please them. Most of us do appreciate our parents but there is a limit to what we can do for them and still be able to live our own lives. Failing to some of us is letting others down. If our parents expected us to be the engineer but we became the business guru, our parents are disappointed and they don't have to say anything. We can sense it in their look or frown or words.

Parents bring on the first of the fears of failing. They push kids to accomplish goals that may  not even be something their child wants. What parents consider important is sometimes not on the priority list of their kids. Seeing eye to eye on this is next to impossible. Even agreeing to disagree does not bring peace to the one who believes in their heart that they let their parents, people they love and cherish, down.

Likely the trick is to figure out why we sense a feeling of desperation when we have not done what another wants us to do. Somehow  a perso we love gets into our heads and makes us believe we should be what they desire us to be. In the end we and they are disappointed. It comes down to the fact that we must love each other for what we are and not for what they want us to be or become.

I know most parents want kids to be kind good and successful. Perhaps we should place compassionate, mindful and loving as some of the ways we delineate success. We  can all choose to be compassionate and thoughtful towards others. We can love others with a kind heart. Working on those attributes is worthier than forcing our own goals and attitudes onto others.

Parents wield a lot of power. If they choose to pick for thie child and demand success in the way they see it, likely everyone is going to live in stress and pain. Grown children expect parents to continue indulging them in ways that are invalid. When we have grown and matured we must take responsibility for ourselves even if it means failure at some points in our lives.  We can and must grow from failure rather than succumb to it and feel defeated.

Failure never brings permanent defeat unless we give up and stop trying. Failure should teach us where we went wrong and therefore how we can do it better than before. Somehow our ideas are that once one has failed give up, leave, walk away, try something or someone new. The stress caused by failure is full of anxiety, rage and fear. We see the disappointment in the eyes and we can't bear to witness it again so we stop and give up our objectives.

Husbands rarely live up to their wives anticipations. The wives hardly live up to the husbands expectations. The marriage road is rocky, demanding and full of potholes. None of us can win and most of us lose and switch up the game because it is painful to keep playing it. We sense how hard we try and we are actually more disappointed in ourselves for the failure. Likely we blame ourselves but we still walk away.

It is easy for friends to disillusion us. There are so many possible friends out in the world that we move on. The same is true with relationships. We find someone new and begin again. We assume we will get it right the next time so life goes on. How many of us question what we are doing and why we are doing it. We believe perhaps that it is for the best because we can't satisfy someone. I suppose that is true pleasing others is an impossibility.  What is also true is that our opportunities appear to be boundless until we discover the let downs are similar. We might even yearn to go back to the original problems or situations and try again,  although we usually can't do that.

We all need space to grow at our own pace. We need love the most and fear and stress the least. I find that the truth is we place the fear, stress and anxiety on ourselves when we believe we must please our parents, spouses children friends or boss. If we think it over we understand that if we disappoint anyone once in a while, they will get over it. If someone disappoints us we get over it. We have a hard time getting over ourselves and our own disappointments of failure.

Failure is not like the end of a road. It is more like a stop sign that slows us down. Perhaps that is a good thing because we get to review what we are doing and why. This may send us down a different path and also help us to engage the people we love in an alternative manner. We need space and encouragement. We need a sense of value and pride in us. If we please us then perhaps we won't be as wounded when we don't always please others. What we think about us when we look in the mirror is what really counts.

A sense of self leads to valuing others. If we are mindful of others we will likewise support their endeavors to be who and what they are. The freedom it endows us with is enlightening. Somehow we all win and we have not failed anyone especially not us. We have our own lives to live, goals to reach and problems to accept and overcome. People can best help us with support of all kinds and refraining from interfering in our choices.

Establish your own self esteem and move forward with courage and strength. Don't be swayed by what others say because they are seeing life through their eyes and we must open our eyes and see what it is we want. Stop judging so much and start living. We learn from mistakes and the learning sticks because of the pain of the error. If we can accept each others mistakes we can increase the relationships love and enthusiasm to do better the next time. Perhaps transformation from within is more of an answer than always attempting to alter outside of ourselves and our surroundings. Put the fears to rest and start living in serenity.

“I know you won't believe me, but the highest form of Human Excellence is to question oneself and others.”     Socrates

“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it's supposed to be.” Socrates

“If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”     Socrates

resentment"Family dinners are more often than not an ordeal of nervous indigestion, preceded by hidden resentment and ennui and accompanied by psychosomatic jitters."    M. K. Fisher

"The man who is anybody and who does anything is surely going to be criticized, vilified, and misunderstood. This is a part of the penalty for greatness, and every great man understands it; and understands, too, that it is no proof of greatness. The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure contumely without resentment."    Elbert Hubbard

I find the thing that brings the most heartache and pain is disappointment. Every day there is so much need to face discouraging situations. At home it is frustrating if we feel the workload is not fairly divided. At this time loading the dishwasher which wasn't suppose to be  our job, gets irritating with every dish. Perhaps the job isn't as hard as our anger at having to do it.

Our husband or wife are expected to be home early for a nice meal. Suddenly comes the phone call stating they will be late. All the plans are dashed and we are crushed. Our minds work overtime and we know, and believe they could have gotten out if they tried harder. I guess the danger is when we deduce they didn't care enough about us to make the endeavor. After a long day we don't want to be greeted by another persons' bad mood. Maybe they have been cranky all week so it is our turn. So we reckon.

At work there are those people who never make the coffee but they make sure they get their share of everybody else's pot. We think they pride themselves  on this accomplishment. We get unnerved when it is our spouse's turn to bathe the kids and all we can hear is angry yelling and demands. We resolve not to go and relieve them because we know that must be their plan. Now we are mad that they are plotting such a scheme. perhaps they are not but we don't question to find out the truth or reason why they feel the way they do. ...continue reading "Turning Disappointment Into Acceptance"

The in-laws are coming again and the husband is not going to cook the meal. How inconsiderate. The last thing we want to do is listen to them deliver and dwell on a boring story idea or thought that really could have taken two minutes to deliver rather than fifteen. The night is ruined and it is their fault. They should be responsible for their own families we surmise. The negativity and resentment builds with each new incident until there is so much resentment that we imagine all kinds of motives our spouse or family member use to manipulate us. We determine not to be taken in.

When imaginations run wild they are similar to a fictional story with us as the author. We are the unfortunate person that everyone is taking advantage of. Other people become the enemy. We have our strongly held beliefs and we don't have time nor do we want to put in the sweat to figure out our enemies point of view. In our eyes they don't have any reasons for acting the way they do. They are at fault and we are just responding in kind.

The marriage and the friendships limp along in this fashion until they dissolve. It might not be what anybody planned but if the relationships are not given any air, they will burn to ashes. What we don't always see is that once we are on the wrong track in any relationship, it cause double the problems. We notice more wrongs, have less patience and put no exertion into understanding them. We have finished with trying. Things become larger and more detrimental.

Perhaps some issues might have been solved if we had pursued some solutions prior to giving up.  Once we make a choice to abandon the relationship, we have pronouncrd it dead already, it is sad when this happens. Probably it didn't have to happen. Being afraid to face the burdens with each other fosters a continuation of resentment that terminates the love. I am a believer in love. I know things can always or most of the time be worked out but prolonging the negativity cuts off the oxygen for a healthy relationship.

Perhaps if we might recognize our own limitations instead of clinging to our independence and capability so as to prove our self-sufficiency, we might salvage our bonds. Weakness is such a fearful thing. We would rather not give in to weakness and dissolve the union instead of admitting our tiredness and vulnerability. Along with these attributes comes the necessity of knowing how to get help using positive rather than negative means.

I have yelled and complained to no avail. If anything each person digs in their heels and shuts down their  listening skills. You just wait for your  chance to blurt out present past and future hurts. One wants to cover all of the bases. I eventually caught on to the fact that the arguments proceeded down the same path with the same ending. After years it occurred to me to switch up the response.

The hard part is coming to terms with my participation of wrong doing. Honestly nobody likes being wrong or admitting sorrow for mistakes. I tend to use the word but a lot. I am sorry but you weren't listening, you started it, you didn't take a turn, you never try. It sometimes led into another fight. I just didn't want to take  all of the blame and my spouse was not interested in taking any of the fault. There I go again placing more on him than on me. In time we were both able to admit it when we were at fault. The strange thing was as soon as I admitted my blame in a situation, the quicker my spouse jumped in admitting something I would not have thought about. It became easier to find the truth and keep our feelings intact.

Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law disagreements are mostly misunderstandings. No one gives in and admits defeat. Sibling rivalry can continue forever without finding motives or forgiveness in each other. Family feuds destroy years of friendship and guidance. Reviewing a bad situation when we are relaxed and in a happy state of mind, allows us to get a sense of the craziness in maintaining a feud. Truly nobody comes out a winner but  everyone comes out a loser when a truce can't be formed.

How important it is to mention the other people  unintentionally trapped in the disagreements we foster. They are the casualties of war and hardly get counted. We underestimate their pain, grief and  frustration. After arriving at this destination many times we sit back and reflect or at least some of us do. That is the point of enlightenment. It arrives the moment we come to accept our blame. It leads to a rougher path for ourselves as we face our own "demons" and become open to acceptance and forgiveness to self. The result is dramatic. Stress and worry are lifted and we become stronger and braver. After all we faced up to powerful accusations which originated in our own minds and hearts.  The reality was lit up in our awareness. The fuzziness  we encountered cleared giving us a clear picture.

It was so extremely hard to do the first few times but it is strange how much easier it got. There is no shame in wrongdoing when you admit to doing it. Honor is not just covered up but lost when we lie to  ourselves. We gain our sense of pride and honor upon admittance of guilt. After being locked up behind the bars of conspiracy, it is a relief to achieve release from the cage that surrounding us. Doing what we don't want to do is painful, yet in the end it is actually a release from the pain. I encourage forgiveness to self and others. The mind must figure out the truth while the heart must work some feeling and sense of forgiveness to help the soul grow spiritually.

How much more time do we desire to give to fruitless anger and fights. How great is it actually to have the last word. If we can visualize the grave possibility of attaining inner and outer peace in the process it appears to be worth the time and effort. Of course unless we want to end up in a similar situation, we must begin to face the truth earlier in the game and not get caught up in another futile place. Changing our ingrained habits of the mind and heart requires commitment.

"Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace."    Buddha

"Emphasis on educational and vocational rehabilitation must not be allowed to overshadow the profound need that will exist for spiritual reorientation. Inevitably there will exist, to a considerable degree, psychological maladjustments manifested in disillusionment, resentment toward civilians, depression, and a sense of guilt. Spiritual therapy available in the resources of the Christian faith can accomplish most in overcoming these problems."    John Bonnell

 

 

when envy activtes suspicion"Sometimes our candle goes out,but is blown into flame by an encounter with another human being." Albert Schweitzer

How are your days progressing? As one gets older the times seem to manifest bittersweet memories. We all remember people who were with us at past holidays. We remember a favorite dessert a certain someone loved to eat. We recall one's habits and rituals which bring tears to our eyes.

It tortures us to live in the past and it actually deprives us of creating special moments with those we are with at the present point in time. Even though it is difficult, we need to look beyond our hurts and even our desires and gain an inner contentment reflecting on the good things we have and the loving people that are currently in our lives. We really do have that choice.

One can choose to dwell on our injuries or rejoice in our loving relationships. Nobody can go backwards in time. I believe we must allow the pain to slip away on the wings of butterflies. The present is what is. Pain will always be remembered but reliving it hurts us over and over again. It depletes our energy, confuses our minds, and prevents us from allowing our hearts to open up to the surrounding love.

Being whole again is invigorating. Being intact again doesn't mean we forget or block anything away. We simply choose to focus on what is right and beautiful in our lives. If there be one individual or animal that loves us we are blessed. if we can't think of anyone then we can easily search and find another person who would so appreciate having a friend. We are not ever alone unless we choose it.

Let go of the fear of the unknown. Let go of the fear of embracing something new. Sometimes when we observe others having a great time at a gathering, we wish we could be some of those people. What we see is not always reality. Many of us at times feel alone in our hurts even amongst a crowd of people. It can become easy to feign happiness.

Step into your life and embrace it with open arms. See beyond your doubts, jealousies and reservations. Never give up. Never give up. It's just at the moment when you feel the worst, that things might just change for the better. We do have to help ourselves. So open your heart to others and don't fear the unknown. Seriously count your blessings. You might be surprised at how many there are.

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain." Vivian Greene

Not fear but worry"It is not work that kills men but worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is rust upon the blade, it is not movement that destroys the machinery but friction." Anonymous

"There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships, and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; It is a sword that kills."  Buddha

When we fear, we are defeated. We pay a price for what might never happen. We waste the present for a conjured up future. We doubt our own ability for a brighter day. Most of us are too busy living in the future and have little time to enjoy the present. Measuring ourselves against others is a waste of time. It only encourages despondency.

It is not that we cannot measure up to others. It is simply because we perceive an answer that is truly clouded in a shroud of mystery. We are making it up as we go along. We have an others life envisioned in our minds and expanded beyond truth. We pay the price of envy and jealousy by fearing our own inabilities and destroying our own striving towards success. In effect we have given up the fight and surrendered before we began the challenge.

It can't be said enough that life is not about winners or losers. Life is striving for complacency and peacefulness. It's about appreciating what we possess and truly being totally happy with what we enjoy. It's recognizing how much we received. Doing an inventory of the people we love and the things we cherish might be a reminder of how blessed and fortunate we really are.

Striving to foster more spirituality is a greater goal than reaching for more material objects. If one observes those who own a tremendous about of articles, one notices that it is never enough and those people are ruthlessly determined to acquire still more material items. Does it end? Do we ever feel content? I believe contentment is the essence of success. Those who cherish what they have are happier than those who believe they need more.

A spiritual  person once said  "Don't ever let "things" own you, you should own the things." As soon as you can't do without some item it owns you. If you can let material things go by the wayside, then they don't own you. Our thoughts can then reflect on a higher good and a higher self. Strive to be a better you and help others to do the same. Think of it like a boat taking on water. If we work together delegating some to empty out the water, while others row, we'll make it to shore. Even if the rowers are stronger the ones dumping out water are priceless and needed.

If we decide we've done enough and that other people over there should do the job, or that either faction is not needed, then we'll all sink. So what if we worked harder or longer or faster. We all made it safely to shore. Would it have pleased us to be swallowed up by the water? Of course not we say. Yet we compete and fear losing or not measuring up to another. Our goal must be to gain a happy spirit. Not even appreciating but recognizing just how wonderful our life actually is  unites us and brings peace. and fearless life. 

You will find happiness in your heart and mind. Nothing makes one happier than when they have brought it to another. If in doubt, try it and experience the result. Even if the other person was not as pleased as we expected, we will still have found the love and peace of self.

"Sometimes our candle goes out, but is blown into flame by an encounter with another human being."     Albert Schweitzer

"I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition, and not on our circumstances." Martha Washington

"To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with."

Mark Twain

97RePmTc3r_1388806008644 dissappointment really deplets energy"We learn to walk by stumbling." Bulgarian Proverb

"courage is not limited to the battlefield. The real tests of courage are much quieter. They are the inner tests, like enduring pain when the room is empty, or standing alone when you're misunderstood." Charles Swindoll

With the party over, are you left with the disappointment? It goes across the board regarding gifts, missed opportunities for chatting with a certain relative, and believing our feelings have been totally disregarded. When people gather together the scene is set for total confusion, chaos and misunderstandings. Our minds are thinking about who we want to talk to and what we need to say to someone and questions we want to ask. What happens is we never get the opportunity to discuss anything with the person we wanted to talk to. We forgot to ask our questions and we never received any answers because someone interrupted us. This might sound familiar.

Gifts are kind of like that. We may have been disappointed but I would venturethat others probably were unhappy with the gifts we gave. Some people grumble to the world which is a bad idea because the negativity bounces back at us. Other people expect a return and still others pretend they liked the gift and then give it away or regift it. The point is that we all have our disappointments. If we want to complain about it to others we are making it bigger than it needs to be and giving life to an unimportant issue.

Many of us who experience a happy situation go home and may not think about it again. The opposite is true when we have a problem we didn't like. Sometimes we can't let it go and yet that is what we need to do.Freeing ourselves from the negativity releases a burden and opens us up to happier and more positive things in life. Free will, allows us to search and concentrate on positive things rather than reviewing and remembering negative things.

If we created a tally list of pros and cons in the course of our day we would find the optimistic definitely outweigh the adverse. If they don't then we need help in learning how to seek out and find the cheerful happenings in our life. People are not out to get us or hurt us. People do care but at times may be distracted. Gifts and advice is given according to another's likes and desires. People are on the same journey as we are and might even be better at hiding their  problems or tears.

It might be easy to talk about how awful and difficult it was for our child to suffer a broken leg. We would commisserate. It might not be as easy to talk about a child who is on drugs and about to enter a rehab clinic. We are human and we all suffer hurts and scars. We can complain about the effects of aging but many times out of embarrassment we won't mention our husband or wife is having an affair or constantly flirting with younger women. The issues are limitless. To save our dignity we don't divulge our deepest darkest secrets. If the truth was told there are more people who have shared a similar situation as ours than not.

Take all of this into account and understand why someone went to a store and bought an object based on what they liked instead of what we would have wanted. Comprehend the magnitude of swirling pressures another endures. Just because they let us down, I'd guess maybe they are trying to keep themselves upright at the moment so we need to give them a break.

We just don't ever see the magnitude of the worries of another person which is why it is awesome to support another when we can. We have our own issues so simply accepting another as they are is actually helping them. People know if you are disappointed with them for some reasons. Don't put that on someone and you have eased a tremendous amount of anxiety. The smiling faces and displays of bravado might also be a way someone hides true feelings. It can be an escape. It boils down to judgement. We all need to stop judging.

By bringing anger into a situation we have built the mountain which we must climb over rather than deal with the mole hill which is easier to cross. If it is all about feelings of love or hate then ask yourself this, do you love others? If you do then it is probably reciprocal. We receive what we are sending out. If others love us then they are not deliberately hurting us and to think otherwise is to cause us more hurt. We are choosing the hurt in many situations. Choose instead to reduce stress in your life. Give others a timeout and especially allow yourself a breather.

Focus on a time you caused another, unintentional pain, remember how sad it made you feel and how much you wanted the other person to grasp your difficulties. Remember and grant others the forgiveness you sought for yourself. It comes back on us. If we slam the door, prepare one day for it to likewise slam on us.

"To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee." William H. Walton

"Hope works in these ways: it looks for the good in people instead of harping on the worst; it discovers what can be done instead of grumbling about what cannot; it regards problems, large or small, as opportunities; it pushes ahead when it would be easy to quit; it "lights the candle" instead of "cursing the darkness." Anonymous

 

7PdOgcOml8_1388684650652 daughters-in-lawI continue my investigation of the mother-in-law daughter-in-law relationship. I began years ago producing my  recent mother-in-law book along the way. I still have continued my research. It was amazing to find the issues are the same for every generation. One item that keeps cropping up is communication and interpretation.

We all have a dilemma with communication and misinterpretation. We miscommunicate to others and or misinterpret what others say to us. mother-in-laws. (MILs) and daughter-in-laws (DILs) do this to each other. With some people we easily work it out but with in-laws we get nervous and shy away. MIL's must step back and realize the playing field has changed. To continue the relationship with their son and his family, she must not interfere with advice. What she thinks is helpful hints may be interpreted by her DIL as interference.

The DIL's must understand that for many years MIL was her son's consultant and he trusts her. MIL needs time to accept the changes and DIL should refrain from any judgments for a short while with patience. DIL is privy to the families problems but without the long history of love intertwined. Time gives the DIL more confidence and the MIL more patience and self-control. Shutting each other out immediately will deprive both women of a multitude of love and support in the years to come. The women have so much more in common than they realize.

My reflection for Mothers-in-law is, to accept the life changes and remember your son will always love you but he needs space to live his own life. He loves his wife.

"Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier. Only those who respect the personality of others can be of real use to them."

Albert Schweitzer

My DIL reflection, Appreciate she is his mother and he will always love her. You will be number one but she will always have a place in his heart.

"Envy is a littleness of the soul,which cannot see beyond a certain point, and if it does not occupy the whole space feels itself excluded." Wm. Hazlitt

sustaining appreciation“Acts of love are what will bring peace to your life and to the world.” Dr. Lee Scampolsky

Whenever another person does something for me, it fills my spirit with thanks and total appreciation for them in my life. The problem for me and I am sure for most people is to maintain that appreciation past the thankful moment. When we are sick we call on a friend or family member and they come running to help us. When we are feeling better we don’t think as much about them. I know we will help them in return if they need us but the focus of their kind acts shifts to the background of our lives.

When our car breaks down, our pets need to be looked after while we are on vacation, we need a babysitter, cheering up, help in a desperate time of need, someone comes to our aid. Fast forward to a future time and place. The person who has helped us out numerous times suddenly says or does something we don’t like. Now we forget immediately, all the times they were there for us. We get angry and hurt and we lash out and dismiss them with nothing more than a blink of the eye.

If this is something you have done or experienced, you are in the majority group. You go home and try to understand what just happened to you. Maybe they don’t recall your generous time effort and money but you certainly do and you can’t believe how fast they turned on you. I have been at the receiving end of such situations and pondered the numerous things I had done for this person and I found it hard to believe they didn’t count my many offerings of love and generosity of time and money.

Recently I was on the other side of the situation. A good friend infuriated me and I lashed out without thinking. It didn’t escalate but I went home upset and then refused to answer her phone calls or e-mails. For days I reviewed what she had done to me and my fire was fueled. I eventually answered her calls and we talked about things unrelated to our problem. Our relationship was somewhat back on track but I had the feeling it could never be the same.

Then I needed help and the first person I thought of was my friend. I felt uneasy about it but I asked and she answered immediately. After the incident I sat reflecting on what had just transpired. My friend was my friend regardless of our recent strained issues. She came through just as she had always come through for me. I then recalled how many times I came through for those who had tossed me aside. I asked myself why we get up and go back for more.

It occurred to me that the reason was love. When you love someone you put aside petty disagreements and take care of their needs. The arguments wait for another day. Enlightenment happened at that precise moment. I began contemplating all the wonderful times my friend and I had shared. I recalled the multiple times she was at my side when I needed her to be. I began to feel guilty about the problems between us and felt like I had created a mountain out of a mole hill.

You see, all the caring acts of kindness create the huge mountain of love. The few acts of meanness create the small mole hill which we can either jump over or climb easily to the other side. I was so focused on the few hurtful incidences and I reviewed them constantly in my mind. I understood how little I had thought about the kind acts of service which she had performed on a regular basis. As soon as the favor was completed, it was out of my mind.

I resolved that day to remember the wonderful things people do for me. I refuse to allow them to go unnoticed. I don’t want to forget the glowing feeling I experienced when these favors were done for me. So when the day comes, as it always does in any relationship, that my friend or relative annoys me or worse, I will be armed to fight the negative thoughts with the remembrance of the good she or he has shown for me.

Now, I am actually applying it to all areas of my life and have a more positive approach to people in general. Sometimes we don’t want others to forget all the things they did wrong at our expense. In retrospect, we forget to remember and sustain the memories of all the things they did and said that were inspiring and helpful for us. This is similar to the way we teach our child that we dislike what they did but we still love them. If we can sustain and appreciate love, beyond the moment, we will keep our friends and family close. For Everyone’s information, my friend and I are completely on track without any scratches or scars.

 “You can give without loving but you can never love without giving.” Robert Louis Stevenson

 “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

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