“There is no passion so contagious as that of fear.” Michel de Montaigne
I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich. ~Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford,
“Better to illuminate than merely to shine, to deliver to others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate.” Anonymous
“If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging and less tugging.” Diane Loomans
Having a passion for anything leads one into territory untraveled. We are all aware that for the most part we are conformists. Nobody likes to be shunned or insulted so we either fly below the radar or we are careful to state truth in ways that are palatable for others. Even with friends we aren’t completely open about every subject. Perhaps it is also partially due to the fact that we don’t always agree and we don’t want to argue with friends.My only problem with it is we are not ever what we appear to be and if we are we appear to be a super hero at times and an evil person at other times. I suppose that even far back in history people were cautious about stating feelings or giving advice. The women from Salem that were burnt as witches were likely intuitive and knowledgeable about herbs and other forms of cures. Likely they cured someone who had no hope and suspicion ensued.
We seem to fear the unknown and see it as a threat. That keeps us all in line. After all things are okay for the moment so let’s keep it that way. In the process we are less of ourselves. We spend more time being what others want and expect of us. Professionals are never suppose to do any wrong. They probably do but it is behind the closed door and kept from the public. No wonder we have so many anxieties. We are attempting to promote the correct image for a variety of different people. I sometimes don’t know who I am when that happens. Am I the nurturing teacher or impatient parent? Am I the outspoken strong individual or the fearful person in the corner? Am I competitive on the ball field yet gentle with the kids? We all have so many disguises and answers for these questions.
We constantly portray a variety of masks. At times we give the wrong impression of our real identity. The doubt about who we really are, is always in question. I understand that we do actually act in a variety of ways given the different circumstances we’re in but the general core of who we are is never completely grasped. I am not sure if this is the way we like it so that nobody can assess us completely. If we keep them guessing they accept us and leave us alone.
It is just so hard to throw out the truth as we see it. Maybe that is a problem. If I see things differently then I don’t want your truth anymore than you want mine. But reasonably if you have done research for your beliefs then I should respect that, by not be afraid to confront what you have experienced. We say we are free but there are numerous times when I observe others who remain quiet regarding statements they know to be false. Being accepted and part of the crowd is more important to them.
The more respect we have, the less likely we want to make any waves. This goes for friendships as well as any other area of life. I think that has something to do with our conformity. The majority believes something is right so rather than fight a tremendous group we smooth over our thoughts and assimilate them with the majorities ideas. Sometimes we shave off too much of what we know to be the truth. Somehow I know that at this point I am not recognizing me anymore.
By rejecting my fear, I can state an opposing view and not worry if it is well received. That is not how life works. I might be ostracized for what I say and do and lose my esteem from others. I question waging that battle. Maybe we should consider these as possible reasons for the strange mixed up behavior of others. In our minds we are weighing what we can say without losing honor, when it is not what people want to hear.
We are always liked and well received when we make people feel good. We are not so honored when we say stuff that triggers reflection and needs to be spoken. I can’t tell you how many times I have put my foot in my mouth and regretted it later. It wasn’t that I stated anything dishonest. I just spoke about critical but difficult issues to face.
Deep thinking is scary as it awakens senses in the mind, forcing us to accommodate it with our already held beliefs. I know it is smoother sailing overlooking some things for the sake of peace. I guess I am questioning how much we overlook and how far do we take it. Teaching for many years helped me understand some truths from many years of experience. I wrote about what I lived through. The book I wrote was based on my experiences.
It was written with so much passion that it resonates within our consciences. It isn’t popular because it makes one think. It isn’t politically correct but it is the bare truth. Nobody likes that. It was never meant to be an insult but only a support to aid in knowledge and awareness of what is happening under our noses yet concealed. I am not interested in degrees of right or wrong, only in the betterment of children’s lives.
I prefer to state what is there and leave it up to the consciousness of all of us to attempt to fix and or do better. It is paramount that we give more time and love to our kids. It is far more important than toys and gadgets that keep them engaged and away from annoying us. Kids must be brought back to the front of our lives rather than living in the background shadows. Dare to read the book if you have the courage. Remember I was hurting when I wrote it. Parenting is the most important job, anyone can do. Having a loving safe and nurturing environment is essential. Divorce hurts kids but even if you are already divorced, the book discusses issues you likely have never even thought about.
My 3rd book called TUMBLEWEED KIDS, approaches subjects ignored or hidden for the most part. Discipline, academics, bullying, abuse, emotional stress and nurturing are a few of the subjects covered. Divorce enhances the dilemma in every area of the children’s lives.
TUMBLEWEED KIDS is not a feel good book but offers many suggestions.
TUMBLEWEED KIDS was written in anger and passion but profound love for kids and parents.
TUMBLEWEED KIDS will break your heart first and then revive your conscience with hope and strength. TUMBLEWEED KIDS promotes the importance of keeping parents, grandparents, aunts uncles and cousins a part of kids lives. TUMBLEWEED KIDS states more than anything else, the crucial importance of mother and father to children.
“Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.” Anonymous
“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around — and why his parents will always wave back.” William D. Tammeus
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Elizabeth Stone
“Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do.” Saint Thomas Aquinas
“The lack of emotional security of our American young people is due, I believe, to their isolation from the larger family unit. No two people — no mere father and mother — as I have often said, are enough to provide emotional security for a child. He needs to feel himself one in a world of kinfolk, persons of variety in age and temperament, and yet allied to himself by an indissoluble bond which he cannot break if he could, for nature has welded him into it before he was born.” Pearl S. Buck