“One of the most powerful lessons in life is to recognize that no one can give you power, and many people don’t want you to have it. You have to find the courage to seize it, own it and hold on!” ~ Shannon L. Alder
”Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it…” –Lou Holtz
We all know them. Some people who hold us back, in one way or another. They profess to have our best interest at heart, but in reality they dissolve our resolve to accomplish our goals. I don’t know if they actually believe they are serving us, but in reality we need to make our own decisions, and follow our own thoughts and plans. The constant negativity, eventually wears us down, and crushes our dreams. If you are such a person, rethink how you could better serve your friends.
We can only outgrow friendships, when it reaches the point that friends become jealous or feel threatened with our goals and dreams. Many people like to have friends they consider slightly beneath their level, or they choose compatible people. If they believe their friend has more knowledge, a better degree, more happiness, more goals and dreams or money, they may begin to resent us and trouble ensues.Funny but true happiness and contentment comes from within, so anyone in any place and at any time can possess it. What some of us strive for, that is the facade for happiness, is what others envy if we should attain it. One might attain true happiness along with many of the fruits of human accomplishments. It is still the honest contentment that empowers one with enlightenment and spirituality. People in general, don’t at times, comprehend this kind of contentment. They recognize the person who always appears happy, but they can’t figure out why. I
If we are content with what we have, where we are, and who we are with, we have reached the ultimate goal in life. Friends many times will help us up to a point, If we are going further than they ever desired, we shake their confidence and they may pull their support, or worse turn into the courage crushers. Maybe that is not what they intended, and perhaps they are not fully aware of their behavior, but when they attempt to convince us that the chances are clearly against our being successful, we must close our ears and listen to our hearts. I look at it this way. If you put all of your effort into attaining, and your objective fails, you can be pleased you tried. You won’t have any regrets, and you can still return to the place you were originally at.
You will have earned respect, and confidence in yourself from such an experience. Trying to achieve something, is better than sitting back and watching the world go by, while making no leap at accomplishing anything. Believing in your capabilities and worth, is the first item on the list of things to accomplish. I know of people who have attempted to convince others, they were too old to go back to college, switch jobs or careers, and many other things. What is too old? Friends are a blessing from God, but when they are speaking with an envious heart, they become your biggest obstacle.
It could be they don’t want to lose our friendship, especially if we work with such a friend. We might be too busy to have time for them, so they will want us to give up our goals. Our dream could generate more money, or prestige, and place us out of their comfort level. Of course none of this needs to happen. By reaching our goals, we don’t automatically delete our friends. If we did do this, we were not a good friend for anyone to have. Fearing the alterations we are making, causes people to fret about what we are trying to do. Possibly allaying their fears, by keeping them in our loop and allotting some time for them, will dissolve some of their doubts.
Sometimes it might be a modification in appearance. We choose to lose weight, while our best overweight friend is worried and feeling a little guilty. They may not want to put in the effort, so they resent the resilience in us, for attempting such a goal. It might involve going back to school or taking on a job, because our kids are in school. Transformations scare people. Perhaps it is because we really can’t stop changes, and they are inevitable with living. There is so much we think we have power over, yet we discover we have small control over many things in our lives. We do still have some choices.
Trust in yourself with the strangest, craziest idea you conceived. The ride alone is worth the endeavor. How many new and exciting people, and places you might encounter. We learn many things in life, even from failures. Sometimes failures lead us to something better, which we would never have discovered if we hadn’t tried, or if we gave up too soon. I believe if our goals are worthwhile, they are worth striving for. There is always a reason we have thoughts, hopes and dreams. Some or all may be what we are supposed to do. We have choices. I make my own decisions just as you make your own selections. I cannot pick for you since you know what your heart is telling you. Same goes for me, and the necessity for me to choose for myself. Don’t be afraid and never dash your hopes. Take the chance and remember, dreams can be transformed without destruction, just like a short hairstyle that will always grow back.
“Give yourself a break. Stop beating yourself up! Everyone makes mistakes, has setbacks and failures. You don’t come with a book, on how to get it right all the time. You will fail sometimes, not because you planned to, but simply because you’re human.
“Failure is a part of creating a great life. Stand up to it and handle it with grace. Because, you can.” —Les Brown