Indifference

Has anyone noticed how much time we spend pleasing others? It is almost like a job. If there is a difficult person at work,  everyone treads lightly around them. I remember one person who had to verify certain work, before one could turn it in. Many times I would approach them and zone in on their  mood, which could greatly affect their attitude, and analysis towards your work. If they were pleasant, I turned over the papers, but if not,  I waited for another day.What gives some people the right to walk all over others, and behave in such a childish way. Given a little authority, they become a force to be reckoned with. Of course there are the family members who are either constantly negative, in which case we overlook them, or they attempt to change their attitudes, which never works. Our friends are the same. There are times when certain friends call, and we will refuse to answer.  We cannot face their mood at that point. We simply wait for another day.

We all do it. When certain people are around us, we might refrain from certain jokes, or manner of speech. We may be quick to criticize some, but tread softly when offering advice to others. At times it feels as if there are those who get free passes to misbehave all they want, while the rest of us are forced to dance to their tune.

Of course the alternative is a battle, which we don’t want. It entrusts us with either accepting the situation, or complaining, which renders us in their category. We lose the battle, because they have had more practice with their frequent  disputes with others. I just  believe we spend a lot of time contemplating, how we will act,  what we will say, and how we will dress when we are considering an interaction with these people.

There are some people who are totally put off if you look nice.  It is as if you deliberately tried to make them appear inferior. You might get the snide remarks of, “Well Amy you look like your going to a party!” It really isn’t a compliment and it draws negative attention to you and gives you a sense of insecurity. You might spend the rest of the time avoiding everyone. All you want to do is get through the occasion.

One aunt likes to be outspoken, so we all endure the insults and casually laugh, regardless of how we are actually feeling. Other relatives like to engage in conversations that we are not involved in. We stand at the outskirts, with no recourse. Many times we might feel ostracized or ignored. Everyone around us appears to be engaged and happy. Our next attempt is what I call pretend participation. We join a group of people who are involved in conversation and we are satisfied to just be a listener. We stand there and pretend we are part of this group. On the outside it  appears we are enmeshed. On the niside, we feel helpless and embarrassed.

So much of our lives is enveloped in secrecy, and acting. There are times when I feel like shouting, “Will the real me please step forward.” So much is kept hidden. Our emotional state and impressions are not shared. What we do share is small truthful parts. The whole scoop is covered in mystery. I have discovered that many quiet people, are more intelligent than we give them credit. They pretend not to get certain jokes, because they  don’t care for the humor. Others laugh at their stupidity or innocence. How people judge us, might be totally wrong, due to the fact that they don’t, deep  down, know us. We keep so much hidden. I believe the most sensitive  people, hide behind the veil of the unknown.

After a while we get uneasy about who we actually are. We might disagree about what others are talking about, but to save peace, or to just get along with others, we remain silent. We become indifferent to the world. If everyone could entrust their deepest ideas, we might be surprised to discover they never really agreed with us on anything. We might also be surprised to discover how little we agree with their notions.

I’m not sure how the cover-up began. Why we all find it necessary to hide truths and sympathies is a mystery. Perhaps in order to have less confrontations, we simply agree to disagree. The problem is we don’t disagree, we just go along. It just appears we are agreeing. It might save quarreling with others, but continually remaining silent renders us empty, and unsure of who we are.

There is a need for balance. No one wants to incite a dispute. But the worry that comes with constantly betraying ourselves, can leave us in chaos. Sometimes damaging rules are enforced, due to the majorities lack of interest or self-confidence in themselves, to disagree. The silent majority can be ruled, by the few outspoken individuals.

I reiterate the importance of common sense. Having more faith in our innate impressions and beliefs is paramount. It is like waking up from the fog, and realizing the happenings surrounding us. Gently promoting honesty and integrity, is a worthwhile agenda. We don’t have to do battle, but we also don’t have to remain silent.

We are at a precipice. We don’t see the fall. I believe it is time to wake up, stand for something and promote goodwill. I mean it in the sense of recognizing that perhaps we have agreed too often, with the whims of society. We have allowed others to dictate the rules, for our homes and families. Even when our impressions tell us otherwise, we go along anyways. We must find the courage withing ourselves to change what can be changed for the better.

Our emotional  state of confusion, perhaps has more to do with our sense of being out of control of our lives. To a point we don’t have control. We do have free will to make needed changes and choices that benefit our mental and spiritual beings. Speeding through life in a dream state is not an answer. It is time to acquire the courage to stand for truth, empathy, kindness, tolerance understanding and especially love. We can’t keep shoving these under blankets out of fear and worry.

Our eyes should be opened to the goodness around us. Our ears must begin hearing the emotions and sentiments within us. Our voices should profess love and enlightenment, giving support to those around us. We don’t have to agree but we need to understand.

Each day we step out into the world, it should be with courage and fortitude, to think well of others, feel love towards all, display kindness, speak with honesty, listen closely and search for truth.  Perhaps it will support us in observing the positive and good in all people. Then there will be no worry, in how we look, or in what we say. We will be living in peace, and we will undoubtedly be more aware of who we are.