“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” Mother Teresa
“Superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.” Confucius
I don’t have all of the answers but I like to look at every problem and situation and come up with a positive helpful solution because I personally think pessimism promotes frustration anger and more negativity.
Even if our solutions to a problem are different, by providing a positive look we are focusing more on a truce or compromising answers. I am not always big on negotiating but I’m beginning to understand that peace is awesome and comes through cooperation. We can still have our own ideas about something and hold on to those ideas unless they hurt others.
Even if we don’t inspire another towards our way of thinking, at least we can throw out our thoughts. By doing so in a bargaining unoffensive manner, we allow others the opportunity to view and ponder our ideas. if we fight for what we perceive as right we alienate others and they shut down before we can even provide our thoughts to them. I would venture to say that patience is the key to listening and compromising. Maybe we must give 60% to the relationship at this point in time and our partner needs to only give 40 percent. At other moments in our lives the percentages change.
Our problems are readily solved with concessions and settlements. We all hate to admit we are right or wrong about something. If there is rarely a winner or a loser Life becomes more about learning and moving forward with a greater repertoire than we had the day before. it’s not about diminishing others in the process. Constructing ideas is powerful allowing for everyone’s input.
Why browbeat another. It will wear you down in the process. You never feel better when you make someone else feel worse. Besides, glory last for seconds whereas friendships and family are forever. The need to win, be correct, feel the noblest, act the hero, debate the longest, yell the loudest, be hugely intimidating, secure the main points in an argument, prove others faults, catch a liar, degrade a troublemaker and ostracize family and friends is not at all appealing.
What have we won? An even better question is what have we lost? We win the war and lose everything including our self-esteem. Winning is not all it is cracked up to be. It always leaves losers in its’ wake. The atmosphere gets heavy and pride and hope get lost in the storm. We most definitely have defeated the enemy. So what if they were our coworker friend family member or spouse. If we want to make a lasting point, emulate humility, compassion and empathy in your argument and you’ll be amazed at how many people will remember you and your talking points.
“People will not bear it when advice is violently given. Even if it is well founded. Hearts are flowers, they remain open to the softly fallen dew, but shut up in the violent downpour of rain.” John Paul Richter
