“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Author Unknown
“What oxygen is to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life.” Emil Brunner
“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson
If I reflect on my life, I come to the realization of how happy I am. I just never seem to have enough time, to simply chill. I hear a lot about meditation, but when I sit down and try it, I have to rub my face, get a tissue to blow my nose, or shift my feet around a few times. Then suddenly my phone will ring, and I need to give up my meditation time. I pat myself on the back for attempting it, but the next day I feel sad, that I could not relax enough to be alone with my own thoughts.
So about every other day we get up and think I’ll never get this or that done. I have no time to just sit back and think about nothing. I can’t ever just immobilize myself for five minutes. I know this is the way my life unfolds, and has progressed, up to this point in time. After so many years I am guessing it won’t change. I hope for awhile and then the hope leaves me. I ask myself what am I doing wrong.
I love people, but I like to get away from crowds, and do things I enjoy doing. Meditating is something I’d like to do, but I haven’t gotten to that routine and relaxed state of mind. My thoughts run too quickly through my brain. For the longest time, I have been saying to myself, when you are without anything to do, you can sit down and just admire the scenery.
There are so many items to finish or start or accomplish. As soon as I finish one, two more crop up. I am not disappointed, but sometimes feelings of being overwhelmed creep in. I equate it to how far above water, my head is, at any given moment. On a bad day, I might believe I am going to sink. On those days it is like crying time, and all hope dashes away.
Of course on those days I retreat, and review what I have gone over many times. I go over my plans, dreams, goals and at the end of this reflection, comes my list of items to be thankful for. That is when my hope begins to return. Suddenly I am renewed with energy, and come to the realization that so much is good in my life. Acknowledging how much I have to be thankful for, gives me renewed hope in myself. I jump back in that water and furiously begin treading it again.
It occurred to me the other day that maybe this was my form of meditation. It certainly is sincere, and I leave no thoughts uncovered. First I drive myself to the ground, along with a few other people who hurt me. But then I ump up, and join the rest of my cohorts, while striving again to make sense of my existence. At the end of one of these sessions, I am feeling so much better. It is rather a peaceful kind of composure. I see the day dawning with the rise of the sun, rather than watching the closure of the day, with the setting sun. I am amazed when I observe how much I managed to accomplish, on one of those days.
I can see how the anxiety I experience, promotes fear in me, that their is no hope. Encouraging such a lonely thought, drives hope from my heart. I understand that we all need hope, and at times we misplace it. I don’t think we ever lose it, because it will never desert us. We drive it out momentarily when we are under pressure. Our attempts to elude our faith are fruitless, because hope always crawls back, and makes us see the world with a gentler glass. Of course this allows us to regain our composure, enough to focus on reality, which can be harsh, but also enlightening. We perhaps are privy to the many possibilities, that are available.
My faith is restored by rekindling my hope. Some may say hope is a figment of your imagination. I say hope performs miracles when you have faith. The sibling of faith and hope is courage, which is needed to keep going, despite obstacles. Fear is a negative friend, that brings you down, and prompts you to give up. Hope is the positive companion, who cheers you onward while lifting your spirits. Hope transforms possibilities into reality. Never throw out such a worthy and powerful friend. I am thinking that maybe I do know how to meditate. Like everything else, we each do it in our own way.
“When you’re depressed, it translates to the cellular level, and then the whole body is depressed. The first objective is to get your energy rising, through playful experiences and attitude. It’s one of the most powerful ways of breaking up hopelessness, and infusing energy into the situation.” O. Carl Simonton
“Hope is a renewable option: If you run out of it at the end of the day, you get to start over in the morning.” Barbara Kingsolver
“Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.” George Iles
