The Gray Area

The Gray Area

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“Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool.” Robert Brault

“Wrong is wrong even if everybody is doing it. Right is right even if no one is doing it.”

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it but our aim is too low and we reach it.”  Michaelangelo

The gray area is safe. We love it because we can settle there whenever we feel the need. If we are offending anyone, it is helpful to bow out and state we are in the gray area. It always works because we don’t have to choose a side on any issue whatsoever. This even applies to parents who disagree. The parent in the gray area is not forced to state any opinions, or argue any issues. I view this area as weak, unproductive and sometimes a cowardly position.

Companies make deals and fire people. They state it was a necessity and everyone knows the truth, but no one speaks. We fear leaving the comfort of the gray area as it feels like home. Those people whose jobs are terminated, may protest but to no avail because it sounds like sour grapes. Those who do not rebel but know the facts, keep quiet because they need their jobs. They absolve themselves of guilt in the name of their family’s needs. At some time in the future those that did not rebel, may find themselves in a similar situation as the group that just got  fired. Most likely The new hires may  not stand by them. As long as we are surviving, we forget to bother about those who are not okay.

Of course the political atmosphere is the same. To gain votes from either side one simply has to say I do not agree, but everyone can make up their own minds. It is a gutless way to say I am on the fence, have no strong convictions of my own, and want to get elected by any means. I would rather somebody disagreed with me than say everyone can do as they please. I know of some people who condemned living together arrangements until their own children were doing it. Now they have jumped into the gray area. They could have stated they were still against the issue, but the consenting adults made up their own minds. I could accept that better than to suddenly hear someone give up their position.

Where have values morals and virtue gone. I remember teachers saying to classes of kids “You need to  have a backbone and stand up for what you honestly believe in.” All I could imagine was a bony skeleton that was misshapen. Now I understand what they were attempting to say.

Courage is to have a belief in something, and maintaining faith in it, without wavering with every breeze that blows. Otherwise we are becoming a blank page on which every person writes their own dogmas. I am not sure it is about confidence, as much as it is about wanting to be loved by everyone. A person of value is never admired or loved by all. Maybe we do not think long enough, nor deeply enough about anything pertaining to our lives. if we studied items more carefully, and made decisions based on fact and empathy, we would not be so quick to change our minds and hearts.

We are standing for no apparent principles, and wondering what to teach our kids because of our vacillating attitudes. Now we can allow people to avoid their obligations. Moms or dads who abandon their kids, blame it  on the other parent, and walk away from duties. No one interferes, because the parents have the right to choose to give up their accountability towards their kids. Kids have no rights maybe because they do not vote.

Those few extreme marriages that must dissolve are in the minority. Most other marriages can easily dissolve, because we can’t put in some effort to save the ones that can be saved. It is our right to go looking for something or someone else, because we are bored or view another as more likable. No one faults us because it is our decision. No one tells us the end result is a similar situation to what we are currently experiencing, and leaving behind. The annoyances may change, but they are present. The  responsibilities and burdens increase, while time, energy and money decrease.

I don’t like the gray area. It holds none of us responsible, requires no energy or loss, and no reflections of the good or evil it will cause. We are excused to do whatever we  want, when we want, and indulge ourselves without trouble. I see this as a selfish way to live. I believe we must work together to solve problems, and account for the pros and cons of any situation. We can’t waver because our closest friend is doing something we do not condone. We are traveling down a winding path with so many curves. We might eventually go off course and most definitely, lose our sense of self.

I know it isn’t so simple when we watch those we love, adhering to rules we would not live by. Voice your opinion anyways. You obviously have no right to demand of them, if they are of age, But it doesn’t mean you can’t speak up. Feeling embarrassed in front of them, or their friends or family, keeps you in the gray area. It is time to step out of this comfort zone, and maneuver towards the light. You might even find you have people who will jump in and agree with you. Perhaps they are waiting for you to make the first move. We have to get out of the fog, the gray area causes, and steer to the light. That is the place where we can clearly see things through and study them. By observing the long term effect as in a chess game, we will choose wisely to stand for something. As a wise person once said, “If you stand for nothing then you’ll fall for everything.”

“Whether one believes in religion or not and whether one believes in rebirth or not,  there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.” Dali Llama

“Faced with what is right, to leave it undone shows a lack of courage.” Confucius


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