Knowing The Facts

Knowing The Facts

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“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; No need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain; our own heart is our temple.” Dalai Lama

“Be  kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” Dalai Lama

How easy it is for us to judge a person’s tribulations. We all have opinions and sometimes we state our opinions, even when we are not asked. Other times we voice our thoughts to others, regarding matters that we simply don’t have all the facts. I know whenever I hear anything immediately my mind begins calculating what the truth is. I am more aware as I get older how detrimental this can be, if I don’t consider everyone’s version of the truth. If I don’t know everything about the situation, my ability to assess is hindered.

Most of the time in life events that are challenging, it is hard for any of us to cope with the gravity of a situation. We might listen, but deep down we question and review and sometimes have differing conclusions. Sometimes a person in need, who is dealing with a tremendously difficult circumstance, requires support in the form of a listening ear. They don’t want judgments or agreements or even suggestions. They may need  someone to say, tomorrow will be better so hang in there, and keep your hope alive.

So many of us believe we should offer advice, or delve into the truth, and sway the person away from what the problem is. Knowing whether the person is searching for support, or advice is relevant. We all carry our loads, and we have all been burnt, by being honest and opened, with people we trusted with our hearts. When another person is upset, to ease their minds we might offer our shoulder, heart and caring words. That will do more than attempting to return something to its’ original form. That is not easy to accomplish.

Sometimes we don’t have sympathy for another, because we believe their problem is not what we consider worth all of the fuss. If it bothers another, to the extent of interfering with their everyday performance, then it is worth our attention to offer aid. Assessing the pain is impossible. We must trust they are in need, and offer as much assistance that we can give. The measurement of pain has to include the build up of the small things, that have compounded an already stressed out person. Seeing it from this perspective, allows us to comprehend how little of the facts we have acknowledged.

Sometimes marriages are struggling, kids are bending the patience of their parents, grandparents are demanding, and jobs are stressful. Any one of these troubles might cause pain, but combined they can cause a crises. People don’t always mention marital problems, or kid problems. People define themselves by their jobs, and are devastated when problems arise. They likely keep the issues private, even from their wives or husbands. When a person approaches us with a painful situation, we can support with our hearts. Don’t look to measure the pain or fault. Lend some help without critical assessment.

Whenever we attempt to find truth we discover it hidden among a myriad of smoldering complications. Blame, embarrassment, shame, anger, doubt and fear are just a few reasons people hide real feelings. We appear helpless and weak which are not valued qualities. The numerous obstacles we all face can be overwhelming. We need each other. We want comfort and peace. We find it at times in the comfort of a friend or stranger. It takes a little time and effort and trust. The benefits can’t be measured or counted.

We can refrain from judgments and observe a needy person. Uplifting another on the same journey is powerful. It gives us more strength and happiness. To think that we have made a fellow human being’s life a bit easier, is an awesome feeling. It sends out ripples in all directions. It is easy to forget about our own struggles, when we have helped another. Somehow our own burdens lighten. Appraising another, fosters distrust and fear. Empathy fosters trust and hope.

“It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.”  Dalai Lama

“All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.”  Dalai Lama


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