“How terribly sad it was that people are made in such a way that they get used to something as extraordinary as living.” Jostein Gaarder
“There are people who are generic. They make generic responses and they expect generic answers. They live inside a box and they think people who don’t fit into their box are weird. But I’ll tell you what, generic people are the weird people. They are like genetically manipulated plants growing inside a laboratory, like indistinguishable faces, like droids. Like ignorance.” C. JoyBell C.
“I think that we are like stars. Something happens to burst us open; but when we burst open and think we are dying; we’re actually turning into a supernova. And then when we look at ourselves again, we see that we’re suddenly more beautiful than we ever were before!” C. JoyBell C.
I had to take a break from my writing due to family issues that needed my attention. Of course, I never stopped observing and learning, even if I stopped writing. I noticed how tense it felt to let go of so many tasks I would typically accomplish when I have total concentration. Instead, I sat back, worried, and reviewed how far behind I assessed I must be. In reality, I was only behind because I saw it that way. In actuality, I might be and probably am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point.
We find ourselves treading water
How many of us believe or even think about why we find ourselves treading water at times or also going backward at other times? Perhaps we view this as big problems and ask ourselves why it happened to us. None of us would say, “Well, I am glad for that set back because now I have time to review what it is I am doing.”
I venture to say none of us enjoy obstacles of any nature, and perhaps we question why obstructions had to happen to us. We do move and get beyond what occurred, but we build up our anxiety over it, feel frustrated and angry, and basically either take it out on ourselves or those who are close to us. That leaves all of us burdened with issues of all kinds because we are all dumping our dilemmas on each other constantly.
Suddenly the light dawned as I observed a young three-year old messing around with toys. He worked hard to build something which eventually came crashing down. He saw it and then laughed and proceeded to construct it again. There was no loss of activity nor tears of remorse. He was surprised that it had happened, but to him, the surprise was worth the destruction of his creation.
Accept the twists and turns in the road
If adults could only accept the twists and turns in the road as the small child did, our anxiety and fear would decrease. As I continued to watch the child, he began building the tower in the same way, and he watched again and again as it toppled to the ground. What did he think I reflected. I would be in tears and thinking about how I could build something that would stand against any kind of destruction. He was greatly amused and had discovered in his mind, how to make the occurrence happen all over again. That was his reward. When he got tired of it, he turned to a different activity and became engrossed again.
What I took from it was his ability to remain pleased and content with his world. He didn’t try to control it, but instead, he let things happen at their own will. He was satisfied with every discovery. He was the investigator of research even though he didn’t likely know what that meant. Most kids do appear to use the hands-on method of discovery until we guide them into ways of doing it “right,” so we believe.
Think outside the box
I wonder if adults lose the power to think not only outside the box but outside of their heads. I know how much I re-examine everything I say and do and what others say and do. I spend so much time within the walls of my head that it allows me little time to be present at the moment. Kids are our complete opposite. They simply tell you like it is right down to the fact that they need to poop in the middle of a movie. It is a fact of life, and they are not ashamed to admit it.
Is it adults who begin blocking kids in with our taboos and ideas of right and wrong? Of course, we should teach morals and values, but do we actually show it or just explain the repercussions of not obeying rules. Do we blindly follow guidelines everywhere and from everybody without questioning why we are even doing it? Kids appear to keep a simplistic version of behaving.
Not afraid to tell you they don’t like something
They are not afraid to tell you they don’t like something, and they will refuse to act on something that scares them despite our prodding. They quickly admit when they are afraid of things that we would assume they shouldn’t be scared of. Some kids are timid in making friends. They are shy around adults, and close their mouths tightly when an adult is forcing food they don’t want to try or medicine they don’t like.
They keep it simple and trek forward at all times. They see the positive in things and will use boxes, dirt, and a stick for a shovel when necessary. They make do and laugh at so many things we fail to see the humor in. An anxious expression on our face may send them into a roar of laughter. Hearing us say we have to go to the bathroom can send a five-year-old howling. Most times, adults miss the humor and only smile to acknowledge the child’s happiness.
No problem being themselves
How did we come to take so much so seriously? Are we teaching that to our kids? Are we flushing away love, life, and laughter from our own lives and the lives of our children? We put up signs about living laughing and loving, yet we don’t follow it most times. Perhaps we appreciate what we should be doing but can’t seem to go against the crowd and do it. Kids have no problem being themselves at all times. Adults ought to imitate the kids and do the same. If only we could admit it when we are hurting, disgraced at least in our minds, unhappy, scared, sick, and numerous other emotions we keep hidden from others.
We can’t be ourselves anymore
We treasure strength, ability, power, and sometimes the skill to squash our emotions. We place humility, compassion, love, and weakness under wraps as if it should be hidden. No wonder we can’t be ourselves anymore. Kids will cry and then admit they can’t do something. We stand in resolve to accomplish what we likely are unable to achieve, never asking for help, which would be cowardly, we believe.
I see kids as grouping together and running in all directions in happiness and squeals of laughter. Adults scurry to their jobs, attempting to please a relentless boss and perhaps a spouse who is expecting more than we can deliver. The camaraderie and cooperation we experienced as kids are slowly drained from us, and we are left alone within our minds in doubt about how where and why we are navigating anyplace.
Following silly rules
Now we are following silly rules we don’t care about. We have stopped attempting to understand the why’s anymore and just do the jobs that need attention. We have, in essence, given up more of our power of control than we should have given up. Understanding the reasons for life and living is a more profound goal than buying a better home or trumping our friend or neighbor. We are not separate entities but one in our world. We can help each other support each other and allow each other to be who they are. We can let go of the judgments and embrace the pleasure of each other’s company. This brings profound enlightenment and a peaceful co-existence
I have faith that if we all opened up our hearts, our minds would follow, and a deluge would ensue. We might find all the support and love that had been bottled up within each of us, spill out in all directions. The falseness would disappear, and the masks and costumes we display daily would fall. We would and could feel like the young child who could enjoy his blocks regardless of failure with the understanding that failure is a myth.
We can try again
None of us fail. We just make mistakes that can most of the time be corrected. We can try again because nobody is keeping a tally, and we can admit failure and victory because we are on the same team. We don’t have to win alone. We don’t have to lose alone. We can technically win all the time when we share the victories of life.
Parents teach their kids, and siblings teach and inspire each other. Relatives of all kinds aid prompt and encourage each other at any point in time. Friends are quickly here and gone, but each leaves a mark on us regardless of the length of time of their involvement. Getting out of our heads allows us to live and begin each new day with high hopes of doing some excellent positive support for others.
Before we hang up rules or signs, we should contemplate the reasons they inspire us. Understanding what it is about them that makes them valuable is crucial to our understanding life. Like a puzzle, we have broken apart into a zillion pieces. The picture of our lives will become more apparent as we place those pieces together and actually and finally look at the real picture. Alone we are a shining light for a moment until the light is turned off. Together we create an awesome bright luminosity gathering all into the comforting serenity of love in action.
Kids love is unconditional
Kids love everyone, and their love is unconditional. They forgive everything and forget transgressions as they begin playing with a friend the next day after having fought with them the previous day. They don’t judge who can or can’t climb up the ladder; they just send out the cry, “Let’s do it.” Together they work, play, live, laugh, and love. There is a message here for us to witness.
“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” C. JoyBell C.
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” C. JoyBell C.