Yanked In Many Directions

Yanked In Many Directions

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“The tension between ‘yes’ and ‘no’, between ‘I can’ and ‘I cannot’, makes us feel that, in so many instances, human life is an interminable debate with one’s self.”    Anatole Broyard

“Let your heart rule your emotions but let your mind rule your actions.” Idleheart

I don’t know about others but there are so many days when everywhere I look there are jobs to be done and turmoil surrounding them. I suppose like rain we must put up with those sorts of days to appreciate some days we have breakthroughs. It is so hard to focus  on those types of days. To add some fuel to the fire you get that person who annoyingly points out something you forgot or messed up on. I wonder how those people continue to exist.

Seriously though a bad day is a bad day regardless of the weather. I want to figure out why we have so many more bad days than good. I search for my own understanding of a horrible day and assume it has to do with a few things. First of all it is  other people who can alter your mood and turn things sour. They just have a knack for saying or doing annoying things that make one reach the boiling point and then release their built up frustration either in unkindly remarks or by taking it out on themselves internally.I would guess that is why some of us have certain health issues or what we call stress that we can’t quite figure out why. Tension builds up inside of us and needs a release. If we don’t let go of it in one way or another then we turn it on others or ourselves which is very detrimental to our health. Most  of us probably use a combination of the two. I can sense my strain as my muscles tighten up and I inhale and hold my breath. When I am consciously thinking about what I am doing I attempt to let my inhalation release.

Stress it likely the cause of arguments, disagreements, fights, anger, boredom, burdens, frustrations, fears, doubts, beliefs and pressures at work or home. Our spouse and kids can cause us stress but we in return deliver stress to our families including our spouse and kids. I believe that to keep myself from being pulled in a multitude of directions which cause health problems, I must let go of my worry. I know many might think good luck with that one but the reality is I am ready to do just that.

In order to keep our sanity, we must deal with the fact that we can’t do the impossible even when others expect the impossible.That is when it is time for us to face the truth, instead of exploding into fault-finding with those around us. You can always tell those people who have bitten off more than they can handle.  They are the ones complaining about everyone and everything. All is wrong with the world because they can’t complete what they had wanted. I  always do set the bar higher than I will be able to reach but I enjoy the challenge. It is only a major problem when we lash out at others when we suffer a setback. Handling setbacks is required.

There is no loss of honor in failure as long as we give it our all. I have learned there is more honor in trying than never having attempted a demanding goal. It hurts when one gets trounced but it does build character and confidence in attempting another strenuous achievement. I think internally we need perspectives. Not everything can be done at least not at the same time.

There are always issues with money, house repairs, kids, family, relatives,  friends, jobs, age, health, welfare and most importantly ourselves. We can be our own worst enemy. We expect so much from ourselves. We think we can do more than is possible and we beat ourselves up when we find out we can’t. We would all like to conquer tasks and burn the candle at both ends. Again we are the ones who will suffer the consequences of such a plan.

If we want to spend more time with our kids at a park then we probably won’t have the perfect lawn. We must see what is more important to us and follow that road and ignore the tall green stuff. Choices are all around us and so much is calling to us. I think about the choices in terms of where each item stands on my priority list. People  always come first and many times the wants and needs of others over my own. I am not saying never think of ourselves because if you don’t you will be  back to that explosion episode whether inward or outward. Neither is a pleasant sight.

Sometimes it seems that I am going backwards because I appear to get nothing accomplished. This is extremely taxing and confusing. I venture to chalk it up to a day of unclear thinking confusion. I write that kind of day off to the universe because maybe I needed a day of doing nothing and allowing my mind in a sense. to take a vacation. Maybe I wanted it to work but it had its’ own plans for chilling out. Those are the days we can’t seem to focus and we start one thing after another and end up finishing nothing.

It is so important to comprehend where our stress originates. Many times we set ourselves up for the fall and failure. We can make things difficult or easy by our simple attitude. if we accept the fact we won’t and don’t have to do it all then we will be happy with the outcome. That is our choice of attitude. If we plan and strive to get everything completed we will most likely not accomplish it and be disappointed. If we do finish perhaps in the process we will have alienated others with our bad temperament or we will have forfeited a happier time spent with the family. Anxiety is also a consideration because health is at stake.

I would never say to skip your jobs around the home and do as you please. I would say to pace yourself and reflect on what you are reasonably able to accomplish in a given time period. Why we believe we must constantly accomplish one job after another is demanding. It makes no difference if the pressure is coming from ourselves or others. We decide our path and we can choose what will bring us peace of mind and happiness, or chaotic distraction and despondent feelings. Have any of us ever thought about the exact time and month and day we completed a task? It really isn’t that important so don’t let it take a huge priority in your mind. We don’t want to blow things out of proportion. Everything gets done in its own good time.

“It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems.”     Thich Nhat Hanh

“Tension is who you think you should be. relaxation is who you are.” Chinese Proverb

“Give yourself permission to feel anger pain resentment. Relax, then let it go. With Love….  Lessons Learned In Life


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