“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” Unknown
“We think when things get sorted out we’ll find peace. But actually, when we find peace things get sorted out….” Pag – Croatia
Most of us would bluntly state that we have few fears. We have the “I don’t care” attitude, and “It doesn’t bother me mentality.” Somehow we believe if we state it out loud, and preferably to someone, we make it the truth. Actually the reality is that we all have so many underlying fears. I would guess it is the reason we have so many prescriptions for worry, anxiety, stress, and pressure. Most likely we bring on, or make our current illnesses worse with stress.
Because we like to believe we have total control of our bodies, and our world, we perhaps would deny all of this. After all we are extremely capable, and we handle a tremendous amount of issues. How could we possibly be out of control? Some of us manage to get “things” done, spend time with family, take care of the house and pay our bills. Deep within our being, we run scared. At times we play the what if game. If something happens to me, will my kids be okay. If my husband dumps me, how will I manage the kids and everything else. If I lose my job, where would I begin looking for another one. Am I saving enough money to send my kids to college. Am I too strict, or are my kids out of control.The list continues, and we spend too much time reviewing it, and adding to it every day. We must find time to live our lives, and release the fear, stress, anxiety and doubts, in order to improve our health, and recover from illnesses. Don’t believe in the comeback, “Oh sure that is easier said than done.” It really is simpler than we would think. Maybe we need to take control of our lives, and piecemeal them, in order to understand things are not as bad as we sometimes think.
Lots of people fret about getting married, yet they have lived with this person for eons. I admire that we take our relationship seriously, but in a way, we are already in a committed relationship. Many young people worry about the right time to have a baby. In the end the perfect time will never arise. Life has problems at lots of turns. If we ditch the fear, we go forward with our plans, especially when we feel in our hearts that we are ready. Just assume life in general is never without some strife, so expect it, and be ready to deal with it. Instead of dreading what might happen, and then panicking when something does, prepare yourself to expect the unexpected. Have confidence in your capability to deal with it.
By expecting some problems along your life path, you are surrendering your fear, stress, and doubt. Facing some complications, actually makes you realize they were the items that made your life better and made you a stronger person. One can imagine they chose the perfect time to engage in whatever, only to find out something unexpected happened. It is not to scare a person that I mention incidences, but to encourage people to have faith in themselves and in their own lives. You can’t micromanage your life. You may attempt to do it, and then find, it was a useless stress producing task. I would always suggest someone reflect on their decisions, but to spend so much time agonizing over this and that, is detrimental to ones’ health.
We don’t have that kind of power to ensure a trouble free ride. Trust that you are capable of handling issues along your way. Anticipate what you can, and take care of unexpected problems, as they arise. Sometimes we find there are others willing to help us, with crises situations. That makes burdens easier than we envisioned. It is better to focus your life in the sunlight, than to fear all of the shadows. You may never even encounter the shadows you fear. It is wasted time to constantly fear and worry. You are missing a huge portion of your life, when you do this. The people you love, are not enjoying the total you either, if you are so engrossed in what might happen.
Plan for pleasant happenings and an enriching life. One person expecting a baby, may think about the messy diapers, and the long nights without sleep. Another person may think about the snuggles, kisses, hugs and smiles. We can always make do with what we have, if we don’t always doubt it. Doubt brings on the worry and anxiety, which leads to illness. Release your fear about life in general. Even a job loss, which I know many people have experienced, can lead to a better job situation. I saw this happen, many times, and actually experienced it. Unfortunately some problems we might experience, we never even considered, so all of our fear and worry about one thing or another was pointless.
Make it a rule of life to live in the moment, and worry about today’s problems. That is enough. Guessing the future is nerve racking. It really wastes today’s energy, and sets your mind on a track that leads back to where you started. If you are under some trees, and a lightening storm begins, fear is expected. Do something about it immediately. Save money for the future, but stop fretting about having more than enough. There are ways to make it enough, and you can deal with that in the future.
Think more about the present moment because that is reality. Take care of what needs to be done at that point in time. Those are your burdens and they are not as heavy as the numerous days you place on your shoulders, that haven’t even arrived. Keep your stress level down and you should remain healthier. You are also more attuned to the people and world surrounding you, when you are living in the present. You are never alone in the world. Outwardly admit your fear of a roller coaster, but don’t secretly fear your life.
“Why worry about things you can’t control when you can keep yourself busy controlling the things that depend on you? ” Unknown
“I imagine all of us have shifted our fear to something outside of us. We grasp at plans for happiness tomorrow to relieve the fear we choose not to address. The more we shift our fears by clinging onto something outside of us, instead of looking inside to acknowledge and dissolve it, the more we will stand in our own way. Life is transient, there’s only so much we can plan for; but there is much more happiness to be experienced when we learn to live in the flow. Fearing less means letting go, flowing more, and truly experiencing life in all of its wholeness.” Unknown