“Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of life, is without trouble.” Carl Jung
“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” Virginia Satir
“A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.” B. F. Skinner
I honestly believe our biggest fear is ourselves. That perhaps is why we spend so much time running around and keeping busy so we won’t have to face us. It is an absurd statement to make but I think it holds a lot of truth. Probably that is why we overreact when our child does something wrong. We can’t admit we see them behaving like us. That is why we overreact to our kids and other people who demonstrate actions we are guilty of. It is difficult to watch.We perhaps dislike the most, those people who remind us of ourselves. In reality we are offered a chance o view ourselves and change our own ways. Instead we strike out at these people and overshadow what we refuse to admit until we are ready to alter our frame of mind. There is no one who enjoys finding fault within. Yet we never see ourselves as perfect. If anything we punish ourselves the most and subject ourselves to scrutiny. Of course the intense look leaves us filled with negativity and insecurity.
None of this helps us if we only reflect on the surface problems. It is like saying “I know I am no good and I always say and do the wrong things.” That is too general and solves no issues. It leaves us encountering the same problems which never got resolved. Most fears come from our inability to face the truth. As much as we search for meaning in our lives we stop at the front door of enlightenment about self, afraid to open the door. We dread finding the inadequacies we possess. It is easier to pretend we know we have them but maybe we have just a few. Not knowing the amount is better than comprehending reality, so we think.
I firmly have faith that at this point in the crossroads of life, we are close to opening the door and are not as horrible as we believe. By looking inside we can actually make things better instead of pretending we don’t know what we are doing so we keep repeating mistakes. As much as we deny faults we overstate our guilt’s which leads to anxiety and fear. So many of us live with worry that we don’t understand and refuse to fix.
If we fixed some of the burdens we would ease our lives and toss some fear away. As one quote stated in so many words, “Be brave and face your fears in order to overcome them.” Instead of convincing ourselves we are a lost cause, we can tune up our spiritual side and release some stress, the choice is ours. I know myself that if I refuse to let the negativity of others reach my heart, I have improved my days and life. It isn’t my issue it is all their problem.
people who interact with us in an inconsiderate manner are inferring their own thoughts and hurts. We all have those moments to either vent or be the uncomfortable receiver. I sometimes wonder if we have become a people so involved with life that we put inner peace on hold. It simmers and festers and eventually spills over because it can’t be contained any more than a boiling covered pot. We all try our best to let it boil as long as it can until we are forced to deal with it.
The same is true with the mind heart and spirit. We ease our sorrows, soothe our hurts, and release our anger in small doses if possible. That is a good day. The bad days cause everything to errupt. More honesty is manifested in the volcanic eruption. If we figured this out we could understand that all of the words and thoughts at the time of explosion, are more relevant to our own inner feelings than another person’s mean intentions. Our hardest test is to recognize it.
Once we can see how damaging we are to self, it might encourage us to face our inner turmoil. Having the courage to transform us, makes it easier to interact with others. At times we are angry at self but would rather blame this person over there. If we understand the freedom that comes with knowledge about self, we might be quicker to deal with honesty. Our image of self is so fragile. We at times feel like a piece of glass that might get broken. We are so much stronger than that.
I remember dreading to go to the dentist or doctors, knowing some of the tests I would face. The loss of sleep and stress was awful. After it was over I couldn’t believe how much I had built it up in my own mind. It was no where near as horrible as I thought it would be. This is how self knowledge appears to the senses. The floodgates get opened and everything is smoothed out and peaceful. We have to get over fearing ourselves. We are good and our bad habits can be overcome. they are not as huge as we believe.
Letting go of our own torments works better than attempting to force change on others. Fixing us rather than finding mistakes in others aids friendships and communication. Problems are manifested by the input of both parties involved. taking our own responsibility promotes a positive outcome. Most of us usually feel guilty when another blames themselves. We are aware of how much blame we built into the trouble. It leaves us accepting some fault. It just takes one person at times, to admit their impact in a situation.
Dropping pride off at the nearest bust stop is a start. I venture to say that for most of us it is a facade. We pretend to have more confidence than we actually feel deep down. That is a whole other post. Being yourself works the best. if people don’t like what they see perhaps they see it in themselves. Whatever, it is their problem. Accepting ourselves and trying to be and do better is all that matters. Eventually being, saying and doing better will become a habit worth nurturing in self.
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” Albert Einstein
“In my case Pilgrim’s Progress consisted in my having to climb down a thousand ladders until I could reach out my hand to the little clod of earth that I am.” Carl Jung
“A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.” Carl Jung
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; The most massive characters are seared with scars.” Khalil Gibran