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“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”    Steve Jobs

“Values are principles and ideas that bring meaning to the seemingly mundane experience of life. A meaningful life that ultimately brings happiness and pride requires you to respond to temptations as well as challenges with honor, dignity, and courage.”     Laura Schlessinger

Pride is having arrogance, egotism, self-importance, vanity and superiority. Those are n ot exactly the qualities most of us strive for. As a matter of fact we try to alleviate these from our own self. There are other definitions for pride such as self-esteem, respect, dignity, honor and self-respect. Now that list is one I would love to place my name on. Both lists refer to pride but certainly one list honors it while another appears to be disgraceful.

I believe at times we may appear  to be proud because we are looking for respect. Perhaps the way we go about it makes others disdain us. What we see as self-esteem, they view as vanity. It is difficult to actually pull off dignity without sounding superior. Most of us  do not have a sense of arrogance. I think it seems so because we are angry hurt in pain and demanding of respect.  We offer it to others but at times can’t receive it for ourselves.

Maybe we try too hard and others see through the facade. The more unbelievable we appear, the more people ignore us which leaves us crushed. Being ignored is worse than being disliked. We might guess at the reasons people don’t like us but if they disregard us we feel unworthy and lower than low on the scale. There we go again with the measurement.

If we tossed out the measurements we probably would feel better. As I peruse the idea I admit that we could be looking at it in the wrong light. Maybe others dispense with us because we pose a threat. If we reflect on this we can appreciate the possibility of the truth of the matter. None of us is threatened by those we believe we are superior to. We get nervous around those who seem arrogant. They don’t have to act egotistical with us it is our own assumptions and wisdom that incenses us with the knowledge. When we view another human being as self-important,  we dislike how they make us feel and so dislike them. They don’t have to be guilty of anything.

Our judgments on us are harsh. Some of us see ourselves as worthy of being dispensed with. By appreciating our talents and inner qualities we insure a more accepting attitude of the goodness and virtues in others. It is only when we can’t find much in ourselves to like that we throw that anger and anxiety into the world as jealousy of others.

It appears to be extremely relevant to see ourselves in a better light. If we can do that we might find we have less issues with people and more confidence in our own abilities. Instead we study people and think I could never be or do that. Perhaps not but what other things can we do that are impressive and important. I view raising kids as the most important job in the world. Pride is not a bad thing. We can turn it into a defect or an  asset depending on our own behavior.

There are times when we have a sense of being correct. It floods our mind and body and we shout out what we know as we wait for the acknowledgement of honor. There in none. When we search for the respect it is not forthcoming. It might be due to another person’s inferiority in the situation. Pride can be fleeting and hard to maintain if we use it to overshadow others. If we provide our talents for the sake of helping then the pride that comes to us is more in the form of respect.

I know that when one receives respect, it the highest form of praise and pride of the person. Perhaps this is a result of our attempts at  just being supportive. The aftermath leaves us with approval and pride. Seeking approval and attention leaves us in the shadows under-appreciated. You can’t grab force or demand pride. You can feel it but be pushed down quickly. It hasn’t anything to do with one’s ability as much as it has to do with another’s fears and our own appraisal of self-worth.

I know I am a bit confused at this point because it appears challenging to win approval without hurting someone’s sense of self-respect. But then again there self-respect has nothing to do with mine. I can appreciate their virtues without losing faith in my own. I can even acknowledge and admire them and not take anything away from my own worth. The value others place on them is from measurement. My ruler might be different. I am not bound by any man-made laws or rules. I must see myself as whole and completely intact. My  pride comes from within and is not arrogance but dignity. I am not filled with vanity but with self-love and respect. I am not self-important but  I have self-esteem. I am capable of doing certain things and am willing to learn others. I am not superior but I strive with honor. I as well as all people deserve respect.

I know I can’t speak for others but I believe we all sense days of intimidation and inequality. Likely some of it is from our own deductions. Now it is time to face the truth that we deserve respect. I have met so many people and children and I have never felt anyone was lacking in a variety of virtues and qualities.

I think if we gave respect to all especially those who appear vain we will be surprised when it comes back at us. Those of us who appear more fearful demonstrate more pride. We cover-up our lack of faith in ourselves. It is as if we are attempting to prove our superiority. When we gain confidence even in small doses, we acquire the courage needed to face a fantastic person within. We fear seeing it as if it would run away upon being found. Having some pride in us doesn’t mean we are perfect we don’t have to be perfect. We just have to keep striving to be and do our best. Our best is always something to be proud of.

It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.”             Saint Augustine

“Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us.”    Jane Austen


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