“Our greatest glory consists not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” Oliver Goldsmith
“We seldom confide in those who are better than ourselves.” Albert Camus
“Each time something difficult and challenging has happened to me it has marked the beginning of a new era in my life.” Kimberly Kirberger
“I AM IGNORANT of absolute truth. But I am humble before my ignorance and therein lies my honor and my reward.” Khalil Gibran
Tolerance can be a bitter pill to swallow. It can be demanding of us at the most inopportune times. It calls to us when we are tired, weary, dejected and sad. Many times it is difficult to adhere to its’ calling. Sometimes it is hard to find in our world, home or heart. It brings our attention to things we might prefer to ignore. On the other side it rushes in a breath of spring air when we live up to its’ expectations.Interference causes conflict between people. Most of us do not like unsolicited advice. Most of us only request suggestions from those who are quick to agree with us. When we say we are searching for another view, we are perhaps really scanning for confirmation of our own opinions. The person giving assistance is most likely considered the superior figure. There are likely few people we trust, to be in such a position of power. Conceivably, following somebody’s recommendations, is the equivalent of granting them control over us and our decisions.
We must learn how to gracefully impart our knowledge and leadership, and then bow out of the situation. That way, the person needing the guidance saves face. We sometimes sense a feeling of foolishness, when we don’t have all of the answers. On the contrary, accepting guidance never made anyone a fool, yet we should always trust our own judgment in the final analysis.
Perceptibly, if we are secure, then listening to someone’s counsel should not make us feel incompetent. We can feel threatened to some degree, if we consistently require instructions from others. There are times we choose not to ask for help, so if it is offered we quickly refuse. Even if the advice is excellent, it may be unwanted.
We all yearn to acquire answers for ourselves. It builds our security and self-esteem. Lots of times we realize that what worked for us, may not work or be correct for another. As the saying goes, “Different strokes for different folks.” Allowing people to make their own decisions is relevant to learning. They may make errors, but they will learn. Many people think that by pointing out the faults of others, they are doing them a favor.
A good rule to maintain is to remain silent, when people are making decisions. When asked for an opinion, kindly offer advice without going into a pressuring situation. There is a fine line between guiding an adult child, and acting out the parent-child relationship. We must remember that we are dealing with adults. Just because we were consulted on one subject, does not give us the authority to voice an opinion on every matter pertaining to our son or daughter. We do not have the permission, to keep offering opinions.
Tolerance might mean accepting those who are reasonably dissimilar from us. There are those who might have grown up in a different ethnic culture, economic group or uncommon home environment. Perhaps those who tend to exhibit little patience or small amounts of tolerance, were never given any slack themselves. They lived by a completely different set of rules. Whatever the case may be, we need to assess the common bonds that we have and focus on those. In many ways, we might find we are more alike than different.
One woman experienced so many rules, she was afraid to take any action without checking first with her parent or spouse to get permission. Another man recalled how his mother had few rules for her children. She was a free spirit and allowed her children to literally eat at any time of the day or night. They put themselves to bed whenever they were tired. There were no rules. Other than the fact she could never get a babysitter to sit more than once, she and her husband and children were extremely happy. Silence may alleviate many problems. In the circle of life, we will most likely play both roles of child and parent. If we comprehend this fact, then we should put greater effort into all of us getting along. After looking up the word tolerance in the thesaurus, I discovered a whole new way of understanding the word, and I thought I would share this.
Broad-mindedness is being open to political opinions and new cultures and ways of doing things. It is accepting more opinions and options no matter how far-fetched. In essence, I see this as experiencing a new world view of peace.
Open-mindedness is allowing everyone, including the best and least among us, to voice opinions. This encompasses voting and integrity, as well as producing fair and honest outcomes for the benefit of all. Lenience is having mercy and understanding when it is required. We didn’t come from the same playing field and we don’t all know or play by the same rules. We have to allow each other room to grow. I also see a place for this when dealing with children and the elderly, as well as those who are different from us.
Acceptance is being comfortable with the attitudes and ideas of all. Even if we don’t always agree, it is important for everyone to feel at home and valued. Being respected only comes with acceptance of what we are as a person, and the respect is given for being us. Forbearance is having a stay with it type of attitude. We might not fully embrace something with our arms wide-opened but we are willing to give it a shot. We are saying we will go the long route, and be willing to accept the final outcome.
Patience is tolerance at its utmost. It is the number one virtue next to love. Upon displaying patience, hurts of all kinds, as well as anger, fights, misunderstandings and more are averted. Babies, the elderly, the sick, poor, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually challenged people all necessitate our patience to the extreme level of endurance at times.
Easiness is someone who somehow makes everyone feel comfortable. Even when one doesn’t know the rules, we somehow have the sense we fit in anyways. The person capable of providing this kind of atmosphere is a truly wise, humble yet highly esteemed person.
Charity is the last of the examples of tolerance and it goes without saying that those who find it in their hearts to give of themselves to others, have provided something that cannot be returned. It is honest unconditional love of mankind in general. It is the outcome of all the tolerance dispersed. To say we or anyone else is tolerant, is a huge compliment. It is a difficult path to follow and a road less traveled. Only those hearts full of love accept the challenge to venture on it, but the destination is enlightening.
“The more a man knows, the more he forgives.” Catherine the Great
“Only those who do nothing at all make no mistakes but that would be a mistake.” Anonymous
“Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you’re scared.” Eddie Rickenbacker
“You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness. For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.” Khalil Gibran