Unavoidable Changes

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We all hate changes in our lives yet we cause so many unnecessary ones. It makes no sense how we frequently sabotage our lives. Perhaps we don’t think things through clearly enough before we jump on the new and mess things up. Changes are always difficult even when they are happy ones. They involve a new way of doing things or experiencing something. They  may involve swapping  our living quarters

“There were people who went to sleep last night, poor and rich and white and black,  but they will never wake again. And those dead folks would give anything at all  for just five minutes of this weather or ten minutes of plowing. So you watch yourself about complaining. What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” Maya Angelou

“We are all butterflies. Earth is our chrysalis.”    LeeAnn Taylor

“Essentially, humans are alive for the purpose of journey, a kind of three-act structure. They are born and spend several years discovering themselves and the world, then plod through a long middle in which they are compelled to search for a mate and reproduce and also create stability out of natural instability and then they find themselves at an ending tha seems to be designed for reflection. At the end, their bodies are slower, they are not as easily distracted, they do less work, and they think and feel about a life lived rather than look forward to a life getting started. He didn’t know what the point of the journey was, but he did believe we were designed to search for and find something. And he wondered out loud if the point wasn’t the search but the transformation the search creates. …[I wondered] that we were designed to live through something rather than to attain something, and the thing we were meant to live through was designed to change us. The point of a story is the character arc, the change.”    Donald Miller

We all hate changes in our lives yet we cause so many unnecessary ones. It makes no sense how we frequently sabotage our lives. Perhaps we don’t think things through clearly enough before we jump on the new and mess things up. Changes are always difficult even when they are happy ones. They involve a new way of doing things or experiencing something. They  may involve swapping  our living quarters.

Doubts are usually a part of the alterations. After starting the modifications into motion, we begin to review and question our actions. Of course at this point the ball has been started and we can’t stop it so easily. If we quit our job, probably we can ‘t easily get it back with a change of heart. Making decisions without thinking over the results, may leave us with regrets. Most people might live their entire lives in this fashion.

I recall a movie in which the young woman lived her life and the film abruptly worked through her life but before it completed the audience is brought to an earlier version where we see that she is about to be killed by a sniper. We observe her softly falling to the ground as her eyes witness her life as she envisioned it would be. Thus the view of her life is how she saw it. It was like watching playing cards snap-through in seconds.

The notion struck me that as long or as short as our life is, it is still fleetingly short. Our lives are probably more similar to this woman’s lived view of her life than dissimilar. Perhaps we all have manifestations of how our lives will evolve. As living sends us some curves in the road we alter our plans and make choices without reflecting causing us more heartache, confusion and pain.

I believe most of us don’t go back on our decisions because we are too proud to admit we faltered. We live with our mistakes rather than working on achieving better results. It is at these crucial moments that we adjust  our life according to the choices we made. We all live with our decisions and most likely we all question what might have been or could have been if we chose various paths.

Many modifications are thrust at us without warning. In those situations we can face our problems, or run away from them.  In either case our decisions have results. Figuring out the possible outcomes might save us some hardships. Every word and action sets things in motion whose end results impact our world. Adjustments to our personal world are inevitable.

It surprises me when people wonder at the  transmutations taking place in their own lives when they have cause most of them. Choosing to fight or fault our friends can leave us with the task of finding new friends. Cheating or doing things behind our spouses back may lead to a disintegration of the marriage or relationship. Being  angry and rough with kids and disciplining with force leads to anger and bullying within our kids. Falsifying documents, either at work or state or government issues may result in a job loss or a loss of esteem from others.

The saying of “What we sow we will reap” has a lot of truth. No wonder there were so many awesome little sayings. They were likely helpful to people in their everyday life. I suppose we all like the quick pleasure and or satisfaction. We yearn for the chocolate bar but not the extra weight it will provide. We  want the attention of a new man or woman but not the breakup of our marriage or partnership. We want our kids to be superstar athletes but we don’t want to spend the time working with them. We want our kids to be good students but the time and energy it takes to monitor them is unappealing.

Suffice it to say we all do similar things. Desires overpower actual needs. If we don’t stop to think about this then we will continue to frequently be ruled by our desires. They in turn will rule our fluctuations within our lives. Modifications are always based on our feelings and stresses. If a job becomes too difficult, we change it or find ways to accommodate it. When a relationship is painful and corrosive, we modify it or revolutionize our life.

How do we keep some  semblance of stability within our lives is the question. As kids grow there are changes and new ways for dealing with them. Perhaps seeing deviations in their lives challenges us to acknowledge the ways in which we bring about our own conversions. By fighting with our kids and  forcing them to leave, we have altered our household as well as our relationship with our son or daughter. Our pride may stand in the way of our senses. It stays in the way when we can’t go back and attempt to make amends.

Kids are spontaneous. Adults can be that way also. There isn’t anything wrong with spontaneity unless we refuse to meditate on what we say and do to others. If we took a high road and made progress then we might choose to repeat such actions. Having made enemies or walls between those we love may require repair. These thoughts arise out of reflection. If one never reflects, we never learn from good or bad thoughts or actions.

Just as we mess up our own lives so do many others. In the end if we are not willing to forgive others their faults then they won’t think about forgiving us our transgressions. With more thought, there might be less amendments and or substitutions within our lives. Some change is welcome but forcing the change may not be.

Keeping our mind clear and free of clutter and unnecessary paraphernalia offers clarity to a situation. It almost insures we will pick with thought and conviction rather than a tempting desire. After all it is easier to allow our spouse to deal with the kids especially after a divorce.  How will the kids turn out? It is easier to give little attention to the kids because we have work to do and our own downtime to enjoy. How will the kids learn how to live their lives and how will they turn out? So many choices lead to such different results. We have more power than we ever realized.

Change is inevitable throughout our lives. Some substitutions we never see coming. Some transformations for the worse are our own fault and some are for our own good. We hold the  key in most of these revolutionary happenings. It is maintaining the ability to choose wisely using all of the pieces of the puzzle prior to making the selection that is relevant. Knowing we will be forced to live with the results may amend our original way of choosing.

We might arrive like a jellyfish ready to tangle with anyone near us. Yet such a creature has no protection for its sensitive body. It can strike and do damage to others and in the end to itself but it is without armor as is man. Our feelings are out in the open. We all hurt so easily which is perhaps why we strike out for what we want. We sense our vulnerability. Our difference is in our thoughts. Keep your thinking towards the light of inspiration. What is pure and honest, that will lead you forward in positive ways. Don’t be fooled by the brilliance of the flashes of distractions that leave you floundering in darkness and despair. If you find yourself in such a situation just move towards the light it is never too late. Maybe your fluctuations will be more like the gentle flow of the waves rushing over you rather than the forceful thrashing of the waves upon rocks.

“What transforms this world is — knowledge. Do you see what I mean? Nothing else can change anything in this world. Knowledge alone is capable of transforming the world, while at the same time leaving it exactly as it is. When you look at the world with knowledge, you realize that things are unchangeable and at the same time are constantly being transformed.”    Yukio mishima

“If the point of life is the same as the point of a story, the point of life is character transformation. If I got any comfort as I set out on my first story, it was that in nearly every story, the protagonist is transformed. He’s a jerk at the beginning and nice at the end, or a coward at the beginning and brave at the end. If the character doesn’t change, the story hasn’t happened yet. And if story is derived from real life, if story is just condensed version of life then life itself may be designed to change us so that we evolve from one kind of person to another. ” Donald Miller


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