“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” Arthur Somers Roche
“Its not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” Hans Selye
“Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.” Astrid Alauda
Fear sometimes has to do with our feelings of inadequacy. So many times we believe we simply don’t measure up to others. This can be in expectations they have of us, or that we have of ourselves. The fear might also creep in, when we constantly review issues we blundered our way through. It may be totally in our own minds, but that is the only place it has to be to cause us anxiety and doubt.
I can’t figure why we are all subjugated by fear. We can go someplace and be confident one minute, but then a word, look, gesture or criticism sets us tumbling to the ground. It is easy to tell ourselves we are being foolish, and it doesn’t mean a thing. It is also silly we realize, to allow another such power, to ruin our day or night. Having confidence in ourselves, doesn’t mean we don’t or can’t make mistakes. It means we have faith, in our ability to be successful, but not necessarily perfect.As far as I am concerned, I must not be as self-assured as I give myself credit. I am the unwilling victim, on numerous occasions.. I question why, I allow another, to put me off my game, and make me feel inept. I don’t believe many of us are so filled with pride, that we can withstand an onslaught of sharp jabs to our egos. I know I am probably the easiest person to knock down. As many times as it occurs, just as many times I admonish myself, and convince myself to do better, trust again, and stand up for me. It works until the next time.
So we are left with why we keep repeating the same reaction. The bottom line is to get to the bottom of the problem. Certainly a fair amount of confidence, and a stronger armor to cover the heart, might do the trick. Then again, I can’t see shadowing empathy and love, so I refuse to let my heart be protected. This permits my heart to be painfully available, to possibly get hurt some more. I need a new attitude or mindset.
Truthfully we all suffer those weak moments. We all hate the feelings brought on from an encounter with an individual, capable of eliciting such a reaction. Maybe we need to take a different approach and attack our problem in an alternate way. Instead of looking at ourselves, maybe it is time to view the other person. They are the people who bring painful experiences to our day. Perhaps it is their problem in the way they treat us.
My questions might be, why do they do it, how are they feeling inside, and are they hurting so much, they lash out at others to feel better? Does their pain spill over into a bitterness that can’t be controlled anymore? The result of this overflow, is the painful interaction we experience. This can be from people we know well, to people we have recently met, to strangers.
I am beginning to understand it a little better. Perhaps the negativity builds up, and they most likely would prefer to lash out at those that are close to them. Their actions can be damaging to other living creature. Cats and dogs are not exempt from becoming a target. This being the case means, there are many people in an angry and anxious state of mind. They relentlessly release their worries onto others, who become the victims ob blind injustice. The result is now two unhappy people, who are releasing anxieties on others. The ripple effect continues
I honestly don’t think the majority of people, choose to deliberately hurt another. It is just like a faucet running with a plugged sink. Eventually the water overflows. Maybe it is a compliment when someone close to us, dumps their burden on us. If they feel comfortable to relieve some of their tension, by using us as a relief valve, then I would venture to say we may have done a good deed. Better to see it as a good deed, rather than as a hurtful experience.
We might ponder the same questions, when it is us who have the desire to lash out at others. Maybe we must release some steam. If we can do it slowly, and silently, no one will notice our built up anger. Being in tune with our minds and hearts may help. When it is time to take a break, we must take it. Otherwise our bodies will find their own ways of releasing pressure.
The confusing part for any of us to fathom, is that we all share in the moments of insecurity. No matter the person or the ability to hide it, we understand that it is always present. All of us have the capacity, to bring it out in others. Whether we mean to do it, or it happens accidentally, it should inspire us to pay better attention, to monitoring our need for reflective time. We may find answers, have relief and find truth. Rather than assuming what others are doing, when nothing could be further from reality, alleviates some painful experiences.
In the long run, the less we dump on unsuspecting people, the less we will infect others, with our negative fearful attitude. Being allowed to maintain their friendly, carefree and positive mood, will likely allow them to influence others with their happy thoughts. If we think about it in all honesty, we comprehend how much our own frame of mind interferes with another. With that kind of power, shouldn’t we all be actively transmitting love, rather than fear? We all have bad days and even weeks. Let’s stop making everyone else pay the price. Perhaps when others are feeling low, maybe they will reciprocate. Our frail hearts can only hope.
“Stress is the trash of modern life — we all generate it but if you don’t dispose of it properly, it will pile up and overtake your life.” Terri Guillemets
“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” Kurt Vonnegut
“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” Steve Maraboli