Whatever the issues, couples have a difficult time deciding where they will attend a holiday celebration. We all search for time to spend with our own families, and trying to schedule time with in-laws can become a battleground. If there is fighting between the couple prior to the visit, it will be reflected in the attitudes the couple displays.
Some parents pressure their children to spend the holidays with them. If the son or daughter-in-law is from a smaller family, it might confuse the proceedings even more. If the husband or wife is an only child, it will also muddle the outcome.
When siblings live at a distance and cannot be counted on to entertain their parents, then this will also influence a couple‟s judgment. They may feel compelled to accept the burden and entertain their parents or be present at their parents‟ house. The couple has probably discussed this issue and come to an agreement, but the mother-in-law is not privy to the discussion. Tenably nothing might be said but considerable is assumed. What the husband’s thoughts are about a given situation may not be considered.
“Remember this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparse, and whoever sows generously, also reaps generously.” Corinthians 9:6
“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” Seneca
It’s possible that a daughter-in-law wants to spend time with her mother-in-law, yet she totally understands her commitments to her family are indisputable. By now we have an exhausted couple, most likely with erupting tempers.
The optimal circumstances are those that are the fairest, but fairness is potentially thrown out the window when complications arise. A good compromise is essential but not reasonably executed as often as it should be.
Those daughters-in-law who venture to spend the holidays with their mothers-in-law have their own worries and anxieties. They are conceivably saddled with fears of being crushed, ignored, and controlled. When a daughter-in-law brings her pets, it can place a burden on the mother-in-law. She may want to see her son and grandchildren so badly that she accepts these circumstances
“If ignorance is bliss, we should have a great many more happy people.” Anonymous
“No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted. “ Aesop
A mother-in-law might elect to spend the holidays with her son and daughter-in-law, while a daughter-in-law might potentially be compelled to accept the arrangements. Husbands need to become more involved when their mothers are visiting. It is honorable for them to contribute to their mothers‟ comfort and to assist their wives with the arrangements and workload. It is beneficial for the wives to affirm their expectations and accept help from their spouses and guests.
Mothers-in-law who live at a distance require over-night accommodations. Sharing close quarters may result in unexpected occurrences, which, evidence suggests, heightens the tension. Mothers-in-law may bring a pet, or friend which very likely brings compounded stress and tension. There are no easy solutions but tolerance and respect go a long way in keeping peace.
“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others, than you can by what others say about him.” Anonymous