“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” John Milton
“The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.” Sophocles
I know like everyone else, there are days when I must force myself to concentrate. I am attempting to block the numerous ever-changing thoughts in my mind, that just won’t settle down. I know they hold me back, and force themselves to the forefront of my brain. Even the times when I am aware I should not give them attention, I still get the gnawing feelings and then allow those negative, overpowering and inflictive thoughts to get the focus of my attention.
They work quickly, producing one forceful thought after another, until they get my mind thinking. I begin reflecting about things I really didn’t want to think about nor look at. I must admit, it isn’t like I feel better after permitting the ideas to manifest. On the contrary, these negative deliberations almost immobilize, and cause one to stop their work and their concentration. No matter how much time, attention and effort is given, they continue to strengthen their afflictions and reduce a resolution. I can become their unwilling captive audience.After some time, of randomly working while thinking, I gain some control back, and push the fears aside. I try to think more clearly. Of course having spent so much time reviewing everything that is wrong with me, and with the people in my life, it forbids me from attending to what is right in my life. I call the next phase the anger phase. I lament the considerable loss of time, on alarming unfounded ideas. Now I am not only disgusted with myself, but also angry. I might also add how behind schedule I become, with my jobs and burdens. I am apprehensive of others, and embellish their unworthiness even more than before. How is it our minds, at times, work against us?
I believe it has to do not only with confidence, because certainly, there are many confident people, who feel unnerved with their relationship connections, like anybody else. I know confidence plays a role but our self-love is a key factor as well as fear. We may dread finding a partner, but after we do find one we then worry about losing them. We stress over getting a job, then constantly overwork at keeping it. We panic about not having our families or friends love, so we attempt to buy them in order to maintain them. We never just believe we are good enough, to keep love constant in our lives.
This makes us live in perpetual worry about what we said, did or implied. We build anxiety, over people having misconstrued simple conversations with us, especially if we haven’t heard from them in some time. Some of us surely have faith in the notion we are just not worthy, and we don’t even try to be number one with anyone. We accept our failure to be a person of value. I worry that at that point we are closer to giving up on life, in one form or another. Our lives may become more routine instead of becoming more enlightening.
Instead of trying to convince others of our importance, we must first convince ourselves of our own merit. Once we have faith and belief in us, we will find peace and the ability to form friendships and connections to others. We won’t have the need to force others, to fit a certain criteria, say the certain words, or act a certain way, in order to prove to us they care. So much of our self-esteem is based on just how we believe others are judging us. We don’t ever question if our beliefs about their conclusions are accurate. Even if another individual agrees with us, we may think they are just responding in that way to make us feel better.
It is difficult to believe how little we value ourselves . For those of us who disagree, and say they do love themselves, I would question why they still have the desire to gain more material wealth. When we are overcome with a peacefulness, we don’t require all of these outside uneventful situations. Our peace comes from within and then radiates outward to others. I am not implying we want to be alone or live alone, but I am saying we must come to terms with out own talents and merit. We are more than enough even when we don’t see it.
Trusting in our sense of self, emancipates us from being the puppet at anyone’s call. We are more able to simply be ourselves. It doesn’t mean we will be mean. On the contrary, by nurturing faith, we have more time to give our thoughts to others, as well as our time and effort. We spend less time reviewing things someone didn’t say or do. Perhaps nonsense is built up in our own minds, and it takes root when we can’t stop it from overpowering our thoughts. Having meaning within, allows us to give more.
Truth can be so easy to see, when we remain calm and refuse to think the worst of others. As soon as we travel down that road of worry, and fear, we are lost. When we take control of what we will think about, and concentrate on what we can accomplish, we perform so much better. So what if someone was nasty, or said some mean things. They were perhaps having an off day. By our disregard of the interaction, it allows them to gain a forgiveness which then brings peace and stronger bonds between us. Perhaps one day we will have to cross the bridge of requiring forgiveness. We should be willing to offer it to others, without burning the bridge. I remember the words from a movie, “Love means never having to say you are sorry.” These words are powerful with an exceptional impact. In order to include many others, we might add, “caring means never having to say your sorry.” if we cherish ourselves, we will have more time to love and care about others. Forgiveness becomes easier and communication thrives.
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” Buddha
“I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn’t need any advice from me. With God in charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.” Henry Ford
All people – African, European, American – worry about being different. But I’ve learned that the traits we’d rush to get rid of are the very ones that others desire. People always covet what they don’t have. That’s why we should look at ourselves every now and then and say, ‘I’m proud of myself. I like the way I’m made.” Freida Pinto
